1000 Funny Ways To Die Novels & Stories

It felt just like—death. Meanwhile, my family waited anxiously. Seeing the doctor return, they quickly donned their helmets without hesitation. Somewhere beyond my dying breaths, the machine's cold melody wrenched the last light of my mind back into memories.

The experienced interrogating officer, maintaining professional detachment, pressed harshly: "Then what? Did she call?" He spread his hands in an exaggerated gesture, performing a pathetic solo show. "She called! Crying her eyes out, snot and tears all over her, calling everyone! And you know what? Hahaha, the funniest damn thing I've ever heard! Nobody believed her! Either told her she was scamming them or just hung up on her annoying ass! Tsk tsk, even called that big-shot brother of hers. You know what he said? Told her if she wanted to die, she should hurry up and stop bothering people!" "CRASH!"

Kira elucidated beside me while giggling softly, and my heart flushed with happiness at the sight of her smile. "Yes," I said."A good day to die hard." I retorted with a smile plastered on my face. A buzzing sound was heard, and a small hole was visible on top of the cage. We watch in curiosity, waiting for whatever they are going to send out again. After what seemed like an entity, different weapons were thrown down on the cage floor. including short knives, spikes, bows, and arrows.

This was the most bizarre night of my life. "Are you…I'm sorry…Are you asking me, if you sexed a demon so good, you killed them?" "You're laughing but a man died today," she said solemnly. "Your laughing but I felt a man cum and die." "I'm…you're right, my apologies. Well, if it's any consolation, knowing Zee, he was probably very honored to spend his last moments doing what he loved best. But, I wouldn't fret too much here. Knowing Zee he's probably very much alive elsewhere, and this was only a minor inconvenience for the man. He's probably laughing it up."

"Well these 'Toys' are used to give someone a brutal death. Thier are so many ways you can kill someone brutally. We have different levels of machines depending on person's deed. Starting from basic to horrendous ways of dying. Like have you heard about peeling of human skin and putting the body on fire, cutting the head, electrocuting someone, inserting pins in the whole body-" I raise my hand in order to stop him as my eyes widened. What the hell did I just heard? I don't need all that information but I could be assure that William was dying a really bad death today because even his basic package would be horrifying for William. "Let's go with the medium level but first I need to talk to W

(Today I am here, but tomorrow There will be my memories, If I will not be here There will be the talks of mine) (If you will turn the pages Of life Then I think you will also cry Remembering me) **** Marna to sabko ek na ek din padega. Magar dekhte hai kiski mout ka sadma Kitno ko lagega. Kya khushi manaenge ya phir gum me doob jaaenge. Dekhte hai mere janaze par kitne mere aaenge. (Everyone had to die one day But let's see, who will take the shock of Someone's death) (Who will be happy and who will cry Let's see, who will come on my funeral) **** Kya pata kab mout ka paigaam aa jaye.

"Pick it — I hope I don't regret what I just said." She grinned. "Scared I will make you watch chick flicks?" "Or worse. Worse being soap operas." She chuckled. After taunting him with soap operas having the most outrageous names ever, she settled on A Million Ways To Die In The West. Somewhere between the hamburgers and the fries, the space between them evaporated and her head took up residence on his shoulder.

I rounded the corner once again till I was back to her side, passing her one of the glasses. "My version of living is doing whatever the fuck I want. Everyone dies eventually, and not always from a liver failure." My gaze settled pointedly on her. The men before me are quite notorious for dying in far more gruesome ways. It'd only be a pleasure. "You mean your version of living is succumbing to your body's every desire, even if it's bound to kill you?" I lifted my glass to my lips, pausing to meet her defiant sea-blue eyes. "Usually, my body knows exactly what it wants. And right now, it's a curious blonde that doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut. Drink up."

blabbing " please just let me go, I wouldn't even taste good, am very skinny and your gods wouldn't even like me, and if you want to sell my organs, let me inform you that my organs wouldn't even work fine without me, the moment you kill me my organs stop, so please just let me go. I finished, I just hope they listen to me, my breathing came out heavy as I just said those words with so much speed, I don't think I've ever talked that fast. It became too quiet for my liking and before I could really understand what was happening, I heard laughter, yes laughter, maybe they were laughing at the fact that I think they would let me go, or maybe they don't understand English and found my strange la

he repeated. “Well,” she said gaily, “since I’m going to die anyway, I might as well go out happy.” Her face fell as she thought for a moment and then continued, “Of course, unless you’re into necrophilia, you’ll only get one chance at me. But just think... ! They’ll find me dead in your bed, but with the happiest smile they’re ever going to see on my face. It will drive them absolutely nuts! Now let’s do it.”