1000 Funny Ways To Die Novels & Stories

She continued to let her weight toss the chair forward and backwards. "As you can see Jammy, I'm fine and still alive. You see Jammy, I was thinking about something yesterday, you know, all my friends are dying and who knows, death might be outside just waiting for you to go out and he'd come to me. I might just be the next. But you know what, Jammy? I'm sure going to make sure I have enough coffee before I die."

I shouldn’t have eaten that last bite of chocolate cheesecake, my stomach feels like it is about to explode, and i can barely move. I now know what people mean when they say death by chocolate, because fuck, i feel like I'll be joining the land of the dead soon. Either that or I'll be on the toilet for the rest of my life, however short that may be. Who knows, i may even die on the toilet, just like Elvis did. That would be one hell of a story for Mihai to tell his great grandchildren.

It was a man’s, “There is always a way to push everyone out of the way.” “How?” The elder chuckled dryly, “There are a hundred ways to die.”

“Hold on. You don’t really mean that, do you?” “I mean it,” I said, keeping my tone as casual as possible while examining the dress’s delicate lace. “She died from an intense paper cut. So I heard. It was really pitiful. Tragic, even.” “No way!” She covered her mouth, eyes wide with disbelief and barely contained laughter. “That’s so… random. I’ve never heard of anyone dying from that. I swear rich folks are wired differently.” “There’s always a first time for everything,” I replied with a shrug, fighting my own smile.

* A wide grin spreads across my lips as I imagine Sarah's father experiencing the torture. And the best part? When he dies, he won't tell anyone in the afterlife how he died because who would be stupid enough to flaunt that they were killed with a simple kitchen utensil? Endless suffering of shame has to be the extra he gets. Atlas laughs and pulls me out of my thoughts. *Holy shit, you're a genius. Sounds like we can have fun by doing some modern mummification.* Finally, for once, we get on the same wave and follow it until we reach our high. There are no disagreements or arguments, just the fun part of planning every single detail we're about to do.

After my older sister, Elise Sterling, is supposedly imprisoned for financial crimes, I become the target of retaliation from her enemies. I can't find a job and live under constant threats. Almost every morning, I find garbage left outside my door. At night, I come home to find my front door splattered with red paint, imitating blood. I break down and fall into depression. Over the next five years, I make three attempts to end my life. The last time, as I lay there after emptying the entire bottle of sleeping pills down my throat, waiting for everything to end, I suddenly hear my sister's frantic voice. "I only wanted to punish Leon! Why did you take it this far?" Her godbrother,

As one of the country's top high school teachers, I have helped countless students get into the best colleges. But I somehow find myself reborn as a poor kid from the countryside while attending a ceremony honoring my achievements. A mysterious voice echoes in my mind. "If you fail to get into college, you'll die!" How hard can that be? It's just getting into college. That's hardly a challenge for a genius like me. But soon I realize that getting into college isn't really about how smart you are. In the end, it all comes down to people and their motives.

Inside the casket, I couldn't tell night from day. Hunger eventually stripped away what was left of my sanity. I bit at the wood and clawed at the lid over and over, desperate to tear my way out, until every single one of my fingernails ripped completely off my fingers. The already thinning oxygen grew heavy with a suffocating, putrid stench as my own waste started piling. I didn't know how many days had passed when I finally died in agony.

I groan hopelessly, falling back to the ground. "The easiest way to die is to kill yourself. That way, you will be relief from all this. No one can kill you except yourself." Nana scoffed. "You are wrong." Jaden's voice came in at that moment, drawing everyone's attention to him.

“Why do you all want to die a painless death? You know it is never going to happen.” “The best thing I can do is to give just one person a painless death and the other rest will die a painful and anguish death.” I said to them. “Next!!!!!.” “I would want to be burnt to death.” The last one answer and I let out a creepy smile.” “This is the only one that want to die a painful and anguish death.” “I have seen my winner!!!” “Since you choose to die a painful death without being scared, I hereby offer you a painless death.”