1000 Funny Ways To Die Novels & Stories

Inside the casket, I couldn't tell night from day. Hunger eventually stripped away what was left of my sanity. I bit at the wood and clawed at the lid over and over, desperate to tear my way out, until every single one of my fingernails ripped completely off my fingers. The already thinning oxygen grew heavy with a suffocating, putrid stench as my own waste started piling. I didn't know how many days had passed when I finally died in agony.

"Goodnight Daddy." He did not answer. But I knew this was only the beginning. I went up to my room with his taste still on my tongue and his fingers still burning inside me. The rain kept falling but I was no longer scared of it. I was scared of how much I wanted more. **100 Ways to Damn Yourself**

I groan hopelessly, falling back to the ground. "The easiest way to die is to kill yourself. That way, you will be relief from all this. No one can kill you except yourself." Nana scoffed. "You are wrong." Jaden's voice came in at that moment, drawing everyone's attention to him.

He moved quickly and handed the gun he was holding to Shaira. "What now, Ciara? Maybe you want to beg for your life before we finish you?" Hannah asked, smirking. May the bloodshed, but I would never kneel to the demons like you, Hannah, just to beg for my life. "Are you guys ready to suffer and DIE?" She emphasizes the last word as she playfully smirks at us. I boldly traced her, as if I was going to laugh at her joke. She could no longer frighten me with such a threat because I had been ready for death since I was born. I was born to die. It's been plenty of times since I met death, but he never took me.

This must be how those 130 people died! Blackie felt sick to his non-existing stomach from the IQ-negative dialogue he had been forced to listen to, “…I’m pretty sure those 130 died due to a deer-caught-in-headlights car accident…” Noah finally took a moment to respond, but his response made Blackie want to cough up blood: “Blackie, I remember you mentioning how you come with many super useful functions. Do those functions include a mute button?” Blackie: “…” (ꐦ ◠‿◠) ‘Heh… heh… sure… that’s why I won’t be saying a word later when you beg me for help after your “good brother” rams his thick cock into your little virgin ass!’

“Why do you all want to die a painless death? You know it is never going to happen.” “The best thing I can do is to give just one person a painless death and the other rest will die a painful and anguish death.” I said to them. “Next!!!!!.” “I would want to be burnt to death.” The last one answer and I let out a creepy smile.” “This is the only one that want to die a painful and anguish death.” “I have seen my winner!!!” “Since you choose to die a painful death without being scared, I hereby offer you a painless death.”

Ivan was silent for a moment before he sighed and said, "Leo's dead." Gripping her phone, Seraphine had a vacant look in her eyes. "So he's really… dead?" Ivan confirmed her suspicions. Then, he said, "We can't bring back the dead. Don't feel too bad about it, Seraphine." "You're worried for nothing. I'm not feeling bad about it at all." Seraphine seemed intent on proving something. She clenched her fists so tightly that she began to bleed, but still, she spoke mercilessly. "I'm glad he's dead. He had it coming. He deserved it!"

Did I mention before that there are other ways I could have opted to die? I probably did, but maybe I wasn't properly understood the first time. Now, look, lemme make this straight for anyone who could get the wrong idea. When I say I rather have them stick needles in my vagina, throw me into a sea of boiling oil, drag me behind a herd of stampeding elephants or even feed me to a school of ravenous sharks, and I'd rather ensure any of that than being caught as a breathing, walking intruder in the mansion of Alessandro Ferrara.

Very big fucking NO Anshul jumped into the conversation like an enthusiastic kid to give his very decent opinion. "Ohh, I have so many amazing ideas like painting their body with my skilful knife art but there is one that I have been wanting to try for a long time, have you heard about the punishment in hell??" He paused for a few seconds to see Tabrez reaction who groaned visibly and then started again “That's the method of frying alive in boiling oil, that's damn tempting." "Yes, I also remember one and I also want to try it." how could Jagat stay behind.

That was probably the same look I gave him. “You know, drowning is the fourth most painful way to die.” She crinkles her nose in a slightly disgusted way, “What? No it isn’t.” I nod, “I’m pretty sure I read it in an article once.” She rolls her eyes, “Is this your way of telling me that it was foolish of me to try to kill myself and I should appreciate the true meaning of life?” She says in an over-the-top theatrical way that makes me smirk. “It isn’t and trust me it wouldn’t help if I did.”