1000 Funny Ways To Die Novels & Stories

And death. “It’s just comfort,” Speedy said. He was alert that night, an unusual change from his drooling, incontinent self. Mykel thought about candles and about how they burned brightest just before they went out. “I don’t know if Woods would approve.” “Just half an hour. Help me walk in. I’m weak. She’s scared. The little one’s dying.” “Look, you should be resting.” “I’ll rest when I’m dead, boy,” Speedy said, letting go of Mykel’s arm. “And you’ll rest too someday. ‘Til then, let us live. No woman should cry alone in the night, not on Christmas.”

Paulit-ulit lahat ng naririnig ko, mga nakikita ko, at mga salitang lumalabas sa bibig ng mga pinapatay ko. All of them are boring. The throne is boring. It's no fun when I'm doing the same thing. Ahh... this life is so boring. I just want to die. What would be the feeling of dying? Does it taste sweet like grape juice? Is it painful that I'll scream harder? I badly want to die. So I tried killing myself, one, two, three, until I killed myself for 100th times... but I didn't die. I had grown tired of this life.

“ the sea will definitely carry you away from this world. You will get no grave, no funeral. No one will cry for you. ” “ Stop saying such horrible things to me. ” She hissed, forgetting her misery and getting angry instead. “ Why choose such a difficult death when you can take a shot of any poison and kill yourself easily? That will create less of a ruckus, don’t you think? You can even go in front of Tyson and tell him you are dying because of him to guilt-trap him into regretting your death for the rest of his life. Isn’t that a better idea than to die silently and so painfully like a loser? ” I suggested even when I knew she would possibly choose the loser option. Most of the people did.

I suddenly blurted out just as Fiona began mixing some concoction to reduce my stress levels. Fiona stopped at once, giving me a look that suggested that she was surprised. “And if you actually die?” She spat, arching her brow. “Don't you think this is a bit too extreme?” She asked, resuming her mixing. Pretending to die wasn't merely a simple act. Only a few people who had tried it came out successfully. It required that the person be poisoned and then presumed to be dead only to be given the antidote when no one was looking.

How could a dead person have pushed her? However, Dad believed her. He walked over and gently wrapped his arms around Ms. Ritter. "Don't cry, I'm here. I won't let him bully you anymore," he said as he patted her back. I froze abruptly and stared at Dad in a daze. He looked at my body lying on the floor with disgust. "Since he's so determined to play dead and get out of donating blood, then I won't cover for him either. Get back every drop that was spilled—insert the needle and draw his blood again. Let's see how much longer he can keep up this act!"

As he spoke, his tone remained devoid of emotion, as if he were merely recounting someone else's story. "I want to sever all ties with them completely. But I refuse to let them off so easily. Faking my death is my best option." Lisa studied the man before her, a trace of sympathy surfacing in her eyes. She thought for a moment before responding seriously. "Logically, drowning at sea is the easiest way to fake a death, but after what you just went through, I doubt you'd want to go near the ocean anytime soon. Falling off a cliff is too risky. I'd recommend a car accident instead."

The sound echoed across the arena. The lights flashed white. The cheers turned into gasps. Nathan’s knees buckled. The last thing he saw before everything went black was the en dless sea of faces screaming, panicking, crying—and the world spinning out of focus. And then...... nothing.

Saying this, they smiled at Ashley while she kept crying silently as one of them was still holding the gun in her mouth. Option one is to put six bullets from this gun in your forehead. Or we will cut you into pieces and feed you to the dogs. Or there is another option, we will throw you alive among sharks. Now you tell us how you want to die. We will kill you in the way you want to die. Although we wanted to bury you alive or skin you alive. This is our favorite way to punish someone. But since you are the lover of a powerful person, we are giving you options. Now tell us how you want to die? "

Adrian’s friends moved faster than he did. One of them reached out and ripped it from my hand, ending the call mid-ring. Another laughed under his breath, like he’d just seen something absurd. “Seriously?” someone scoffed. “Your fiancée runs into a little trouble and the first thing she does is call her mommy?” Another chimed in, shaking his head with a laugh. “Adrian, this is next-level childish. We’re grown adults, not kindergarteners. What’s she going to do next—cry for a nanny?”

I state. *Fucking nailed it,* Dozer says, over mind-link. I draw a deep breath, feeling like the worst of it is over. When Bruce sits down and the dork Norman gets up, Mick paces in my head. “How many people have you killed Travis,” he asks. Cheap shot. I keep a straight face and don’t flinch. *Yeah we’ll leave the next body on his porch so he can see what trash we take out,* Shock says, over mind-link.