1000 Funny Ways To Die Novels & Stories

“How are you feeling?” Zen groaned. Honestly, he felt like this was the worst sleep he had so far. Father Clarence was looking at him with eyes of concern, wondering what the boy did to return to the church this soon. Didn’t he mass craft the healing salves? Suffocation and drowning were probably some of the more terrifying ways to die. Honestly, Zen preferred to die from fall damage or get beaten up until his HP dwindled away. It would not be as brutal as smelling slime butts. Even getting shot to death might be slightly better. It was less embarrassing if Zen ignored how he died semi-naked.

Crystal countered back. I pursed my lips and shrugged. "I think the worst way to die is when you do not know about it. Like dying in one's sleep. You know when they're stabbed, butchered, jump off a plane, or are involved in an accident, they have that whole my-life-is-flashing-in-front-of-my-eyes moment but when they die of no cause at all, it's worse." They all stared at me like another head had sprouted out of the side of my neck like a blooming rose. "Damn," Crystal said. "That's kind of deep-ish."

*** ~~Amara~~ *** How can you kill someone in the most torturous and painful way possible? Gut him with a knife? No, too easy. Throw him in a pot of boiling oil?Hmm, fair enough. Break his kneecaps, toss him to some wild beasts and watch in relish as they shread and scrap his bones to pieces? Well, Maybe. "There are one thousand ways to die, Lan," I groaned, anger brewing inside me as I stared at him with churning rage, "But you choose one."

"The men stop seeing us in a favorable light while our bodies just want more. It is indeed a paradoxical situation." "Well, I, for one, would like to die with a cock or cocks in me," Krista said, "in the middle of an orgasm." "I've said that my whole life," Zach laughed, "that I'd consider dying in the middle of an orgasm the best way to go. What could possibly be better?" "Well, between Susan and I, we'll just have to see if we can't fuck you to death," Krista laughed. "I promise to die smiling," Zach said.

She looked so pitiful. If she were to live in a dream right now, she might as well die in her dream. However, where can she go to die? Drowning was one of the most painful ways to die. The water would enter the nasal and oral cavities, fill up the heart and lung, and suffocate her. After that, her body would be swollen and emit a foul odor. Jumping off a tall building? It would be very tragic if the suicide wasn't successful. She would be disabled. In addition, it was too ugly to die like that.

“Miss Nightingale, are you certain you want us to stage your death in three days?” the elder from the Silver Coast Temple asked gravely. It happened to be the Moon Blessing Festival, the most important day of the year for every werewolf pack. The wind came howling straight at me. I closed my eyes and let the tears slide down my face. “Yes,” I said. “I'm certain.” The elder fell silent for a long moment before letting out a low sigh.

"Please drop the knife, Zaahida. Let's talk about this in a civilized manner." "Civilized manner?" She chuckled, humorlessly. "I have tried that as well, but..." She puffed out air from her mouth. "It didn't work. I realized I have to try another method. This method. Action! So tell me, Zynah...how do you want to die? Should I slit your throat or...cut your wrist instead? I want to get this over and done with."

There are ways of dying that do not end in funerals. Types of death you can not smell. -Unknown. |I R I S| I have heard so may times that your entire life flashes in front of your eyes when you are close to death. And, now when I stay right there, at the exact same point, I believe it.

I stare at the lovely city of Manchester as I weigh my options. It’s either bankruptcy and death or marriage and coronation. I guess the latter isn’t much of a bad idea, only it is. Whatever the case, my father’s murders must pay. I have a secret after all, I can hardly die.

He saw me as nothing but an obstacle to his true love, desperate to be free of me. His friends immediately offered suggestions. Until one proposed an idea that had everyone eagerly anticipating the outcome. "I've got the perfect plan—Travis, you fake your death at the wedding. We'll livestream it and watch her break down completely, crying her eyes out!" After saying this, the person seemed to realize they'd gone too far and stopped talking.