Novel & Cerita 1000 Funny Ways To Die

"The best way to shut up a person is to beat him up." "The best way to make a person in awe is to let him know how terrible death is." "I'll leave it to you." "Buzz!"

If you're really a Ford, I'll let you use my head as a soccer ball. The room burst into laughter. Mia's face darkened. Her voice turned cold. "Logan, enough. Keep this up and I'm really breaking up with you." My consciousness started fading. My limbs turned cold. Darkness crept into my vision. With difficulty, I turned toward a blurry figure near the doorway. Using the last of my strength, I forced out: "Help... me..." Aaron burst out laughing. "Who's going to save you? Your fans?" The crowd laughed as they shoved me back into the liquor again.

Charlie nodded his head as he laughed and said disdainfully, “I have never believed that there could be a person who could be very courageous no matter what happens!” After that, Charlie looked at everyone who was kneeling in front of him, including Gibson, Gibson’s family, and Max before he said sharply, “I can be very responsible and I can tell you that today will be your death anniversary. None of you will live past today. However, there are many different ways to die. Some methods of death might be very painful and some methods of death might be very fast. Whether it is a fast or painful death would depend entirely on your own performance.”

Carl pulled her into his arms and said, "Don't cry, Pheebs. Everyone has their own destiny." What bullshit! I didn't believe in that rubbish, yet my fate had played such a huge prank on me. It had turned me into such a harbinger of misfortune. I saw the slight smile on Carl's face. He seemed to be pleased that I was dead. He and the rest of them surrounded my body. Silence descended upon them as they looked at my photo and urn. Gary said grimly, "Holly called me this afternoon and told me she was going to die. She wanted us to have one last meal with her."

“You’re gonna kill me one of these days.” She laughed quietly against the pillow. “Good way to go, though.” Yeah. Best damn way to die.

"Is there anything that makes you feel funny?" If I have to die right now at least a bit of humor can make it easy. At least, dying while laughing is better than begging. Matter of fact, I wasn't freaking out like someone who's about to die right now. I'm surrounded by three mighty vampires that might kill me. So, I'm not even afraid. It's just as if I know inside me that I can take them all at once if I want to. I do want to, just that I don't know how!

“When last did you get laid? A week ago? A month ago? You are sending people scampering away because of the waves of frustration always pouring off you.” “If I slash your throat right here, all my frustration will be gone,” I pressed my fingers together. “I did not give you this office to fuck eighteen-year-olds in. You are supposed to be working here.” “Killing may be fun but you know it can never be as interesting as a woman’s body. There are so many ways to screw a woman’s brains out but killing is –“ “There are a thousand ways to end a man. You are the one who is too stupid to learn more than one.”

I rounded the corner once again till I was back to her side, passing her one of the glasses. "My version of living is doing whatever the fuck I want. Everyone dies eventually, and not always from a liver failure." My gaze settled pointedly on her. The men before me are quite notorious for dying in far more gruesome ways. It'd only be a pleasure. "You mean your version of living is succumbing to your body's every desire, even if it's bound to kill you?" I lifted my glass to my lips, pausing to meet her defiant sea-blue eyes. "Usually, my body knows exactly what it wants. And right now, it's a curious blonde that doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut. Drink up."

But the frowned turn to laugh all of sudden when I saw how his smile faded. "Why are you laughing?" He then sighed like a child. I didn't know grim reaper can be funny like this. How I wish to see Saint pouting like this. Maybe that's more interesting. Damn! I can't imagine. "You are ridiculous." "Tsk! Everyone's tells that." "Great, at the list I'm not the only one"

I was laughing with my best friend and the fact that I might die soon was pushed at the back of my head. "No, I've got a better one," I said still laughing, "I'm like Dracula whose down to his last meal." "And his fangs all fell out," Asher added and we both burst out into uncontrollable laughter. "Why are we finding this humorous?" I asked as I wiped a tear, "it's not even funny at all." "I guess we're just trying to laugh all our pain away and pretend it's just a huge joke," he answered as he sobered up. "I honestly don't want to think of you dying so soon and leaving me all alone in this crazy world."