Funny Ways To Die Novels & Stories

I shouldn’t have eaten that last bite of chocolate cheesecake, my stomach feels like it is about to explode, and i can barely move. I now know what people mean when they say death by chocolate, because fuck, i feel like I'll be joining the land of the dead soon. Either that or I'll be on the toilet for the rest of my life, however short that may be. Who knows, i may even die on the toilet, just like Elvis did. That would be one hell of a story for Mihai to tell his great grandchildren.

Saying this, they smiled at Ashley while she kept crying silently as one of them was still holding the gun in her mouth. Option one is to put six bullets from this gun in your forehead. Or we will cut you into pieces and feed you to the dogs. Or there is another option, we will throw you alive among sharks. Now you tell us how you want to die. We will kill you in the way you want to die. Although we wanted to bury you alive or skin you alive. This is our favorite way to punish someone. But since you are the lover of a powerful person, we are giving you options. Now tell us how you want to die? "

"What did she do this time?" "She tried to kill me with a glass full of orange juice. Poured it out and pointed the glass at me." I rolled my eyes. This woman was a bold and rebellious. It made me nervous. John started laughing, covering his mouth. "What exactly are you laughing at? I could be dead now." I said. "No, you couldn't. We both know that very well. It's funny that she tried at all. No one else had gone against you like that before."

I suddenly blurted out just as Fiona began mixing some concoction to reduce my stress levels. Fiona stopped at once, giving me a look that suggested that she was surprised. “And if you actually die?” She spat, arching her brow. “Don't you think this is a bit too extreme?” She asked, resuming her mixing. Pretending to die wasn't merely a simple act. Only a few people who had tried it came out successfully. It required that the person be poisoned and then presumed to be dead only to be given the antidote when no one was looking.

blabbing " please just let me go, I wouldn't even taste good, am very skinny and your gods wouldn't even like me, and if you want to sell my organs, let me inform you that my organs wouldn't even work fine without me, the moment you kill me my organs stop, so please just let me go. I finished, I just hope they listen to me, my breathing came out heavy as I just said those words with so much speed, I don't think I've ever talked that fast. It became too quiet for my liking and before I could really understand what was happening, I heard laughter, yes laughter, maybe they were laughing at the fact that I think they would let me go, or maybe they don't understand English and found my strange la

He said as he left my room. Tafana is the fastest and most risky way to die, how is it possible that the little witch survived? What trick has she played on us?

Tom shouted as my face was buried in the cushion. I couldn’t mutter anything I was drained of the remaining dignity I had. My mind kept thinking of ways I can kill myself. Poison, gunshot, stabbing, hanging, running into ongoing traffic, drowning, burning myself, drinking acid. The endless choices sounded more like paradise than the way I was being treated. I decided to close my eyes to think about paradise

As he spoke, his tone remained devoid of emotion, as if he were merely recounting someone else's story. "I want to sever all ties with them completely. But I refuse to let them off so easily. Faking my death is my best option." Lisa studied the man before her, a trace of sympathy surfacing in her eyes. She thought for a moment before responding seriously. "Logically, drowning at sea is the easiest way to fake a death, but after what you just went through, I doubt you'd want to go near the ocean anytime soon. Falling off a cliff is too risky. I'd recommend a car accident instead."

At this point Dr Sam lost all confidence in him. "May I ask what's funny Mr Alaric?" "You're just a very funny man Dr Sam. Many people try to be cautious in the face of death , but you, you're different. You walk like it's your compound. But that's fine, you should be free and completely say your kind before dying so you don't have any regrets. And to answer the question that certified your death, no Dr Sam, I do not have a mate."

Seething at me. " What's there to laugh, baby doll?" He asks, and I shake my head in a no. Looking into his eyes to already see his death. Rage covers his features as he applies more pressure, but I continue to chuckle. " You death." He stills. His grip drops as he looks into my eyes in confusion. " What do you mean?" Who is going to tell him? " Your death is fun Ryder. It's the most inhuman and brutal death ever known in history."