PRETEND PRINCESS
a man in a blindingly green elf getup informed me, jiggling the silver-wrapped horror in my face.
I blinked at him. "She sings?"
He nodded, much too enthusiastically. "Tchaikovsky's 'Waltz of the Flowers' in four variations."
I blinked again. "You're frightening, you know that?"
He just grinned like it was a compliment.
I gave in and bought the accursed thing. For whom? No idea. Maybe it could be a decent present for . She seemed the type who would find an outrageously melodramatic decoration to her liking.
The mall was replaying Mariah Carey for the tenth time in an hour, and each turn I took resulted in more glitter, fake snow, and wailing children. I was trudging along with four bags, rem