Absurd Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

I'm here trying to preserve the life of this lady— my genuine, concise, and mildly disturbing statement must have been well received as a warning yet she mockingly laughs at me like I'm some kind of lunatic or something. 'Believe me lady this might be the worst day of your life if you continue this nonsensical laugh you're imposing.' "Sorry, that might have been rude," she said forcing herself to stop laughing, "I was just surprised that such a young girl like you would have such grim thoughts. I just can't take it seriously, although that's not your fault, don't worry."

I shook my head and went to sit across Audrey. She was laughing at the quotes on the wall. “These are hilarious,” she said, reading one aloud: ‘I don’t need you to brag about me, I just don’t want you to deny me in front of people. – FART!’ Her laughter burst out, filling the café. I just stared, completely captivated. Every laugh, every sparkle in her eyes, it was contagious. “Here’s another one!” she giggled. ‘What a life! Eggs every single day… eggs, eggs, eggs… Do you know who said that?’ Her eyes gleamed mischievously.

I looked deeply at Bianca one last time before closing my eyes in despair. Before I passed out, the only thing I remembered was someone shouting beside my ear. "He's coughing up blood!"

she giggled at her own joke. Guila’s giggle rippled through the air, a moment of levity amidst the heavy atmosphere. Her joke, bizarre and unexpected, painted a vivid picture in my mind. I couldn’t help but smile at her words, the image she conjured absurdly amusing. It was as if, even in the darkest moments, she managed to find a glimmer of humor, a ray of light that pierced through the shadows.

They really were amused by my words. “Are you stupid?” One of them said between laughs, shaking his head as though I had just told the most absurd joke imaginable, “Do you even understand what you are saying? We were hoping you would defend yourself by saying something normal, but this is the best you could come up with?”

"AhHhH, BiG BrOtHeR. YoU ShOuLd HaVe NoT rUnAwAy." "HoNeStLy, Vicky Is SoRrY fOr HuRtIng YoU..." "HAHAHAHAHA!!!" "JuSt KiDdInG, I WoUlD'vE EaTeN YoU AfTeR I wAs BoRn In ThE AbYsS." "GYAHAHAHAH!!!"

She said that and I started dying on the floor, that was probably the funniest thing I've ever heard. "That is the fucking stoner spectrum!! Either you're a fucking Einstein or a fucking retard that tried to play baseball with a robot," I said, laughing through my words, causing Alex to break too, laughing and pointing out how fucked up my sense of humor is, "It's not my fault! Imagine having a fucked up humor before going through the dungeons of hell to become an arch-demon." "Tha-That's fair but still, that's fucked!" "Fuck me, that was funny," I said and the look I got from Alex scared the fuck outta me, she looked hungry but also cautious, "You good?"

Life’s so unfair, man. “What does a spoon matter when we’re literally stuck in the middle of the woods with invisible monsters, shady, bad men and whatever else creeps around here? Can you please, for once, use your brain and kick some sense in the gear?” He whisper-hisses, so red in the face, he reminds me of a tomato. “You could join a casting for vegetable commercials looking like this,” I remark and laugh at the brilliant joke my brain just reacted. Shit, am I not the funniest guy out there? Look at me - sense of humor, looks, body and an impressive spoon collection, I have it all, damn it. No wonder my little vixen couldn’t deny me.

"Oh, I thought I could hold back my laughter, but I couldn't bear it anymore, hahaha." Shiyu and Qiushui were even more annoyed. If Samuel hadn't reached out to stop them, they would have rushed over and chopped these bitches into minced meat. "Is it that funny?" At this time, Samuel couldn't help frowning. "F*ck, this idiot even asked me if it was funny, haha!" "Damn it, what a stupid man! Damn it, I've seen a pretentious person, but I've never seen such a stupid person. He is the Chief of the Mysterious Man Alliance? Oh, I'm so funny."

was his curt response and he continued driving without giving me a glance. Maybe I really offended someone who just bought me dinner. " Do y-you need my ad-ddress?" God why am I such a whimp. " Not necessarily. I know where I'm headed" his words came out through slightly gritted teeth. He knows where he's headed!! I felt all the blood drain from my face. I'm dead. He turned to look at me and burst out laughing. Why are humans so impeccable. what is so funny in murder!? "Gosh Iris take it easy, I mean I know where you house is, no need to turn all blue"