Actually Funny Jokes For Adults Novels & Stories

On the way to get our marriage certificate for the twentieth time, Rolf Trivett regretted it once again. In eight years, this was our twentieth attempt to get the certificate. But every time we reached City Hall, he would always say he needed time to care for his seriously ill childhood friend and couldn't promise to marry me. This time, I couldn't take it anymore and asked him, "If she’s never going to get better, does that mean you’ll never marry me? What am I to you?" Rolf immediately lost his temper and yelled at me, "I've already promised to take care of her for life. Can you stop being so selfish? "Besides, we've been together for eight years. What difference does it make if we don't get this certificate?"

I'm six years older than Bernard Jackman, but he always smiles and says, "Lucky me. I got to marry you." I think we will live happily ever after until a message pops up on his phone and shatters the illusion. "Bernie, be honest. Who's better in bed, me or your wife?" "Come on. That old hag smells like mothballs. She can't be compared to you!" And yet, he still showers me with love. How can a man say he loves me while sleeping with another woman? So, I tear off his mask and leave him. "Bernard, it's not that I can't live without you! You're filthy, and I don't want you anymore! I can find another man just fine!"

Celia Johnson, my boss's sister-in-law, joined the company as the finance director and announced that all reimbursements must strictly follow the standards. I spent an entire week running around for the company and finally closed a five-hundred-thousand-dollar deal. Because the client had used two extra packs of paper towels, the per-person amount for their meal ended up eight dollars over the limit. Celia folded her arms, glanced at the reimbursement form on my desk, and sneered. "Five hundred and eight dollars?" "Yes. Last night at The Peak Restaurant, where we closed Richard's deal. Zack was there too," I explained patiently. "Eight dollars over the per-person limit. Not reimbursable," Celia said coldly. I tried to reason with her. "This was a special case. The client is high-level, and the deal amount is large, and Zack personally said it would be fully reimbursed last night." She returned the reimbursement form to me. "I don't care who said that. Don't think closing a five-hundred-thousand-dollar contract lets you ignore company rules. Reimbursements must all follow policies. Everyone will follow them to the letter." I took a deep breath. I knew arguing with her head-on would get me nowhere, so I called Zack directly. Zack said, "I did say it would be reimbursed, but I never said company rules could be ignored. It's just five hundred. And you still get commission from closing the deal. You young people need to have perspective." I stopped arguing. I turned around and refused the delivery containing the hard copy of the five-hundred-thousand-dollar cooperation contract, smiling as I explained, "Company rules say all cash on delivery packages must be refused. "Also, today is my last day here. Starting tomorrow, I work for Richard's company. As the client, I will be setting the rules this time."

The year my girlfriend, Maisie Summers, and I were supposed to get married, I broke up with her. Later, she made it big and used every means necessary to force me to marry her anyway. Everyone says we're destined to be together from the start. Yet no one knows that after we got married, she's been bringing different men home every so often. I never react and pretend as if I don't see anything. While she sleeps around night after night, I silently count how many days I have left to live.

He’s dangerous, intoxicating… and I’m addicted. Every touch sets me on fire, every whisper drags me closer to the edge I shouldn’t cross. I should run—but I can’t. Because in his darkness, I’ve found a craving I can’t resist, a passion that devours me whole. Some love destroys. Some love consumes. And some men… are worth surrendering everything for.

Leo Payton has been straight for the past 20 years of his life. However, he realizes he's gay after sleeping with his best friend's elder brother, Archer Lacelle. Leo ties himself up with Archer's tie and says, "Archie, you know that I've never had a girlfriend since I was young."

Willing to do anything for her sick mother, Mulan Lexington returned to the family that once despised her for help. With her mother's life hanging in the balance, she agreed to get married within a week—only to catch her boyfriend cheating on her. Devastated, Mulan sought solace in a drink, where she met a crippled Kaiser Walker, who was facing a similar heartbreak. United by their desire for revenge, they signed a six-month marriage contract. What will happen when Mulan discovers that her contracted husband is none other than Cross Voss, the conglomerate heir and CEO of the largest company in the country? And with just a few weeks left on their contract, what will she do about her growing feelings for him?

Warning❗️❗️Rated 18+ This story contains mature themes and extreme sexual content. Reader’s discretion is advised. ****** “Go down on your knees and suck my cock like a good little whore.” Aurora gasped as he grabbed her hair, making her face down on his cock. She sucked slowly, starting with the tip of his cock. “Fuck…” he growled, arching his back and closing his eyes, clearly enjoying the feeling. His fingers reached for her nipples and he squeezed softly, earning a moan from her. He continued to move his dick deeper into her throat, making her suck continuously, and she gagged and choked on it. “Enough foreplay. Let’s fuck,” he growled, his breath hot against her ear as she trembled beneath him. “Let’s see how wet that pussy of yours is. I’m going to make you sweat.” ****** Aurora Sinclair, a timid twenty-two-year-old barista has spent her entire life being invisible. Invisible to the world. And most painfully, invisible to the younger brother who was supposed to be her only family. So when Kevin, reckless and cruel, gambles away twenty billion dollars to the wrong people and decides the only currency he has left is his sister, Aurora’s quiet little life doesn’t just shatter—it burns totally. Marcel Dante is not a man who makes mistakes. The ruthless Mafia King built his empire on fear, loyalty, and blood. Women throw themselves at his feet, men beg at his door, and no one dares to challenge him. So when a broken, trembling girl is placed before him like a bargaining chip, Marcel has every reason to reject her. But something stirs. Something dangerous. And against every instinct, he takes her. What begins as a cruel transaction spirals into something neither of them can control. What happens when desire turns dangerous?

Gillow, the formidable Alpha of a powerful pack of werewolf-vampires, is fated to marry Arda—a human girl marked by the moon, yet unaware of her true significance. Her blood is as irresistible to him and his kind as his instinct is to protect her from those who seek to claim it, all in fulfillment of a prophecy that could determine the fate of mankind. --------- EXCERPT --------- PS: If any male asks you out, tell him that you're already taken because, you belong to me and I will mate you at the right time. I am The Alpha you will soon get to know. Can she run away from her destiny?

Virginia and her best friend Mariana find an unconventional way to change their lives and fulfill their dreams: They put their virginity up for auction. When Virginia receives an offer of one million reais, she doesn't think twice about handing over her only "asset" to the highest bidder. What she doesn't expect is that fate will play a trick on her, and what was supposed to be a simple business deal will turn into a torrid night of pleasure with unpredictable consequences.