And Every Now And Then I Fall Apart Novels & Stories

The world falls into freefall, and I know, deep in my bones, this is it. This is where everything finally breaks.

I stand there, heart thudding, trying not to fall apart. Because every time he says things like that, it cracks open the armor I swore I’d keep around my heart.

“But I think it’s the only way. We can’t keep pretending that everything’s okay when it’s not. I can’t pretend anymore, Althea.” I collapsed onto the edge of the bed, my knees giving way beneath me, my hands shaking as I tried to hold onto something—anything—that could keep me from falling apart completely. Tears flowed freely now, my heart breaking in ways I hadn’t known were possible, as if each tear was a fracture in the foundation of everything I thought we had.

My heart pounded harder, faster, each beat echoing in my ears. Everything was slipping. Everything was falling apart. Right in front of everyone. And I was powerless to stop it. Everything descended into chaos.

I pressed a hand to my stomach and whispered, “Please… not yet. Don’t fall apart yet.” But deep down, I knew the walls were already cracking.

But this world was never going to change with those who were comfortable with it like this. My steps are unsure as I make my way down the stairwell and out into the shifting grass. This was the only time I could fall apart and lament to my heart's content. I let my confidence fall and fake assertion. I revert to being small and fragile, despite my apparent strength, because being strong all the time becomes exhausting after awhile. I remove my shoes and shed my coat, twisting in the wind, around and around and around until I fall and my tears swim sideways to my ears.

I really can't leave– “I'm not okay, Kade,” she sobbed, her face still on my shoulder, her words muffled. “I'm not okay. I'm falling apart. All the emotions I've buried for years have burst out and it's tearing me apart. I don't want to fall apart, Kade. I don't want this pain. Please take it away. Help me from falling apart.”

“You don’t have to hold it together every second. Not with me.” “I feel like I do,” I whispered. “If I let myself fall apart for too long, everything else falls apart with me. The capos are watching. Greco is waiting for any sign of weakness. Adrian is still out there feeding them poison. I can’t afford to be human right now.”

Her voice cracked, wild and panicked. And I just stood there, stunned, watching everything fall apart.

I voiced out. "And whose fault was that?" she said glaring at me. Your psychotic mind, I mumbled beneath my breath, just then she decided to drop one of her crutches, she tried to make it look like an accident but failed miserably. She's going to be the death of me, mumbled before adding a string of curse words to the statement. I hurried over to her and supported her falling figure by putting my hand around her waist leading her to the nearest table. I ignore how right it felt to place my hand around her waist or how she seemed to fit perfectly in my arms every time I carry her. I went to pick up the fallen crutch and made my way back to her.