As Messed Up As Me Novels & Stories

I sit up. “What's wrong, Daniel?” Amelie asks. I stand up and walk away from them, babbling expletives. “Was it something we did that we didn't…?” “This is the fourth time this shit has happened to me” I interrupt Janice. “I have a damn problem, and I don't know what it is. Fuck!” I hit a vase that is on a table with a slap. “Calm down, honey.” I feel a soft hand on my left shoulder. “Maybe it's just exhaustion.”

I was stunned for a few hours by the ceiling, but I still couldn't think of anything. "Geez!" I quickly sat down and messed up my hair. Even my brain doesn't work right now when I badly need it! Jeez! Damn it! You aren't thinking right, Ash! What if Akisha avoids me and then sticks with Yvo again?! I may not be able to control myself and kill Yvo. I don't care if I say he is my friend.

“Shhhhh, babe, just relax. You are so on your period right now.” “I’m not, I’m not … I fucked up. I said some seriously mean shit in there.” I keep replaying my own words in my head and I’m thoroughly disgusted with myself. My mouth just got away from me or something. I don’t know why I keep letting that happen. It’s like I’m in self-destruct mode or something.

Vishal grunted. Sam was Vishal's tech guy. The only information he would never access was the one buried under the earth. Vishal had often used him to help pinpoint several people who felt they were smart over the years. The guy was a complete weirdo and he never failed to amuse Batista and Lorenzo as they would never understand him. They knew that Vishal had found him on one of his business trips when he had hacked into Vishal's car and caused it not to move because he was hungry.

Grace You know that moment when you’re just fucked? And I don’t mean the good kind, I mean the kind where your brain scrambles like a panicked mouse mapping escape routes. Duck left, dodge right, maybe bluff your way out, but every single path ends the same. That was me, right now. Fucked.

It was all flat, no highs or lows and I fucking hated it. Maybe I should have consulted with doctor Angela. Because I was feeling really off today. I couldn’t focus, I forgot everything. Shit, I’m not even sure I brushed my teeth today. I don’t really care either, it’s not like any of that shit matters. I sighed, “fuck. Yes, let’s take a break.” Asher should be here in tonight and hopefully I’d feel fucking better when he was here.

"She might have mistaken me for someone else." I drove my car further and further away from the red-light district. That was the last time I ever saw Meredith.

Nothing Else. And I messed that up with my own hands.

I messed up and I don't know how to fix this shit! ______________

Fuck, I’m screwed. ***** UNEDITED