Best Fat Jokes Novels & Stories

“Yeah well, my sleeping pattern has been off-balance lately, so it's only natural that my eating habits will change too. And geez, I can't help being hungry all the time.” “I think you should cut back on the food a little. At this rate, you'll end up being the biggest person I know.” He teased, poking her belly. “You're such a dick.” “But you still love this dick.” “Are you serious right now? Tell me, does it look like I’m in the mood for any of your crap?” “Whoa, it was just a joke.” “Don't joke like that. Some jokes that are funny, right? And others that are just not ok. Guess which category yours falls into.”

I said that in a way that made him realize I was upset. “Oh, Melanie,” his friend addressed me. His voice was full of sarcasm, treating me like I was an idiot, “You know fast food isn’t healthy, right? Instead of eating that and getting more out of shape than you already are, why don't you go home and do your job as a woman, which is to be a housewife and cook good food for you and your husband, huh?” He suggested. “My God, Max. You're impossible today,” Albert laughed with his friend. “Ignore this idiot, Mel. You’re not that fat,” he said to me, still treating it like a big joke.

Let's listen to it. Jake started telling a string of progressively awful jokes. They were terrible. Puns and dad jokes that caused me to groan and roll my eyes. However, I still ended up laughing. Jake's excitement was contagious, similar to a harmless virus that transmitted happiness rather than illness. What is the reason for scientists not having faith in atoms? Jake inquired, his eyes sparkling. I nodded, preparing for the joke's finale. "Because they constitute everything!" Jake's delivery of the line was so joyful that I couldn't resist laughing.

He made me laugh, a genuine, bubbling sound that felt good after the fear. “Your turn,” he challenged, when he finished. “Tell me a joke. Something to keep the darkness at bay.” I thought for a moment. “Okay, okay… What do you call a fake noodle?” He raised an eyebrow, a slight smile playing on his lips. “What?” “An impasta!” I delivered the punchline with a flourish, and he actually laughed, a deep, booming sound that warmed the room. “Alright, alright, that was a good one, for a rookie,” he teased. “My turn. Why did the scarecrow win an award?”

He replied, returning a smile. “Can I tell you a joke?” “Sure.” “What do you call a cow with one leg missing?” “I don't know, what do you call it?” He asked with a confused look. “Lean beef.” I burst out laughing, not able to contain my laughter. Aspen giggled. “That is the lamest joke I have ever heard in my entire life.” “But you laughed. Didn't you?” I asked with my fingers pointed towards him. “I did. I will give you that.”

Jorge says wiping away invisible tears making dad chuckle. "Fucker...I mean it." dad jokes with him, earning a playful punch on his left bicep and making everyone chuckle. "For real though... You guys are the best thing to happen in my life... besides the birth of my daughter. Please, dig in, there's plenty of food, plenty of drinks, and plenty of desserts for everyone. Dig in, dig in." he says motioning to the food and making everyone chuckle.

It amused me no end. My eyes landed on the bubblegum that was helplessly fallen between her boobs and my smile widened, I gave a signal to the expectant driver to get a move on. Now here's someone that won't be so hard controlling. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Mokunfayo Badmus: Seated in the large creamery, the only thing blaring in my head as I watched the lips, of the boy seating opposite me, moved to inform me of the biggest joke of the century was;

He quickly picked up the spoon, scooped the avocado, then fed it to my mouth. I closed my eyes in contentment, making a blissful expression. "Hmm... It's so smooth, and delicious!" Then I looked at him and said very seriously, "Do you think I'll get fat if I eat like this?" "No! Even if you do, it's okay. I enjoy your plumpness. More cushioning," he said with a wicked smile. "Hey! You're making dirty jokes again! Men are really... Why do you always think about that?" I jokingly scolded him.

I said, taking a slice. He laughed. “Then maybe you should start going to the gym.” I froze mid-bite and looked at him slowly. “Are you saying I’m fat?” “What? No, come on, you’re perfect,” he said immediately, hands half-raised in surrender. “But you just told me to gym,” I pressed, pretending to frown. “Because you complained about junk food, baby!” he said, sounding genuinely confused now. I burst into laughter, nearly choking on the pizza. “I was only joking!”

Alex had several interviews lined up today to hire a personal assistant who is also a realtor for the days his schedule simply does not allow time for him to sell. The position paid extremely well since it required 2 jobs in one. This had brought out fierce competition for the position. After the 5th interview he wanted to throw his coffee at the floor to ceiling windows in his office. He frustratingly called in his current very pregnant and useless assistant. She scuttled in keeping her eyes on the floor.