Book Of Fat Jokes Novels & Stories

He pushed a plate toward me. He had brought too much, just like always. “Tell me honestly, is your plan to make me fat?” I asked as I stared at my plate. “This is a well-balanced meal. It won’t make you fat,” he replied nonchalantly. “Eating too much of a well-balanced meal can also make you fat!” “Before you become fat, you first have to stop being too thin. Right now, you’re too thin. So don’t worry about getting fat.”

"Alright, fine. If you won't smile, I'll have to tell you my top-tier jokes. What do you call a fake noodle?" Elena had blinked, her stern frown flickering for a split second. "What?" "An impasta." She had stared at me in absolute, stony silence for three whole seconds. "That is terrible. That is the worst joke I've ever heard." "Okay, okay, tough crowd," I had grinned, my dark eyes sparkling with wicked delight as I stroked her cheek. "Why don't scientists trust atoms?" "Jaxx, please stop…" "Because they make up everything."

He screamed ridiculously like a child. I covered his mouth with my hand. "Stop it... Flynn!" "Why should I?" "Just stop it! I'm not fat okay?" " Prove it," "How?" "Kiss me." I was dumbfounded. "No" "No?" "Yeah. How does that prove I am NOT fat?" "Because fat people kisses are so timid and light, not affecting and so boring." "Gosh you're such a womanizer!" "No I'm not." "Yes you are!" "You've even kissed fat ladies..."

“Didn’t this novel of yours depicted anything about me or my height? It wouldn’t be a reliable source if they didn’t.” I shook my head and reminded him that he is a newly introduced character in the novel. Didn’t know why he looked happy after I said that, though. In the midst of me pondering, I joked, “So you’re saying that if some dragons have more Mana, then they’ll become fat?” That joke question received as judging look from him, and got an apology from me. “You know it’s not like that. We have high metabolism so it’s hard to get fat, even if we tried.” Wait, did he try to get fat before?

"What? You told her she was fat!" Xavier rolled his eyes at her outburst, "No I didn't tell her that besides we were just having a good time in the kitchen, joking and all that when the topic came up. How was I to know that she'll take the joke so hard?" Her eyes flared impatiently, "You should never tell a woman she is fat especially one you gave a ring, it doesn't boost a woman self-confidence to a 100," "Now I know better." He mumbled, not believing he was feeling berated.

"I will get off if you take back with you said about me." "Get off - off of me, I will never take back what I said." I whispered, trying hard to breathe in, but can't, "Wha - What I said is what I said. And a fact is a fact, be - because you are a big - big fatty. Look at you - you're bigger than an elephant and - and you're heavier than a - a whale!" He laughed and that puts more weight on me. "You - you fat fatty, oh my god, I don't know people this heav - heavy exist." I whispered, laughing at myself. Jeffrey laughed harder.

Even now, I could barely stand the sound of fireworks. I left the girls’ bathroom and entered the hallway. I kept my head down as I made my way to my locker to get my books for today. I wanted to make it to class earlier to get my usual seat. Otherwise, I’ll be walking into a ‘roast line’ in which everyone has a stupid joke to say. I’ve heard every fat joke in the books. “Mila is the true meaning of the word plus size.” “Mila steps on a scale and it reads ‘to be continued.’”

"Fuck I want to see this. You wearing pajamas." "I'm glad you are finding it funny." "I think it is going to be fucking hilarious." "Wait, you might just think it is hot." "There is no way that pajamas are hot." "We'll see about that." I am shocked; he is cracking jokes, he is actually laughing and smiling. "Where to now cause I am hungry now?" "Quick stop at the bookstore." "Fuck don't tell me you are going to read too?" "Yes, I am going to read."

Clutch asked. My head was pounding so hard from last night’s partying, I’d momentarily forgotten about the mouse under my eye, and who’d given it to me. “That’s strange,” I said, before pausing. “What’s that?” “I don’t remember one of the books I sent you while you were locked up being a joke book,” I replied. “Here’s a joke for you. Knock, knock…” “Who’s there?” “Go fuck yourself,” he said, before putting his helmet on.

"I have a sense of humor, thank you very much. I just don't find your fart jokes funny." Felecia snickered. "Everyone likes a fart joke, Moana." Harper waved his fork at Kelsey. "I don't care who you are. Fart jokes are classic." "Stop calling me Moana." Kelsey rolled her eyes. "They're disgusting." "You're disgusting." "Your mom's disgusting." Jamie's brows shot up and he covered his mouth with a fist. "Oh." "Now who is being immature?" Harper's grin only widened. "Your mom jokes are classic. Everyone knows that." Kelsey waved her hand.