Bimbofication Caption

Anibersaryo ng kasal namin nang mag-post ang high school sweetheart ng asawa ko ng sonogram picture sa kanyang social media, na may caption na public thank-you sa asawa ko: [Salamat sa lalaking nandiyan para sa akin sa loob ng sampung taon, at sa pagbibigay sa akin ng anak.] Umikot ang kwarto, at namuo ang galit sa akin habang mabilis akong nagkomento: [So, proud ka sa pagiging homewrecker?] Halos kaagad, tumawag ang asawa ko, puno ng galit ang boses. "Paano mo nagawa na mag isip ng nakakasuklam na bagay? Ang ginawa ko lang ay tulungan siya sa IVF, natupad ang pangarap niyang maging single mom.” "At oo nga pala, kailangan lang ni Ruby ng isang subok para mabuntis, habang ikaw ay may tatlong round ng walang resulta. Walang kwenta ang katawan mo!" Tatlong araw lang ang nakalipas, sinabi niya sa akin na pupunta siya sa ibang bansa para sa negosyo—hindi pinapansin ang aking mga tawag at mensahe sa buong panahon. Akala ko busy lang siya. Gayunpaman, sa huli ay kasama niya pala si Ruby, dumadalo sa prenatal checkup nito. Makalipas ang kalahating oras, muling nag-post si Ruby, na ipinakita ang isang mesa na puno ng masasarap na pagkain. [Nagsawa ako sa French food, kaya ginawa ni Ash ang lahat ng paborito kong pagkain. The best talaga siya!] Napatitig ako sa pregnancy test sa kamay ko, ang saya na naramdaman ko kanina, ngayon ay tuluyan ng nawala. Matapos ang walong taong pag-ibig at anim na taon ng paglunok ng aking pride para lang manatiling buhay ang kasal, sa wakas ay handa na akong bumitaw.

Ang first love ng asawa ko ay nag-post ng isang video sa kanyang social media. Sa video, nagpapasa silang dalawa ng playing card gamit ang kanilang mga labi. Nang mahulog ang card ay nagtagpo ang kanilang mga labi sa isang halik. Hindi sila huminto—parang nawala sa sandaling iyon, mapusok silang naghalikan sa loob ng isang minuto. Ang caption niya: [Still the same clumsy piggy! PS: Ang mga skills ni Steve ay kasing galing tulad ng dati!] Tahimik kong ni-like ang post at nag-iwan ng komento: [Congrats.] Sa sumunod na segundo, tumawag ang asawa ko, galit na galit na sumigaw, "Walang ibang babaeng kasing drama mo! Nakipaglaro lang ako kay Lanie. Bakit naman ummakto ka na parang baliw?" Noon ko napagtanto na ang pitong taon ng pag-ibig ay walang kahulugan. Oras na para umalis ako.

My once best friend posted a photo on her social media account on the tenth anniversary of my marriage. In the photo, her daughter and my son were wrapped in my husband's and her arms. The caption said, 'The perfect pair.' I commented, 'Perfect indeed.' Soon, the post was deleted. The next day, my husband rushed home and asked me, "Sophie is finally recovering. Why are you provoking her?" My son even pushed me and accused me, "It's all your fault for making Tammy cry." I took out the divorce papers and threw them in their faces. "Well, it's my fault, so I quit your perfect family of four."

After I was falsely accused of being a third wheel by a fake heiress, she hired a group of people to corner me in the delivery room under the pretense of giving me an intervention. "How dare you, a shameless mistress, hope to secure a place with your child!" "Today, I'm going to make sure that b*stard in your belly is gone for good. Let's see if you dare get into my man's bed again." The group blocked the delivery room door, their faces twisted with malice as they refused to let the doctors deliver my baby. I begged them to let me go, but they only laughed cruelly and forced me down in front of a camera while I struggled through labor. They forcefully pulled the baby out of my belly and killed him right in front of me. I clung to my child's lifeless body, sobbing hysterically, while they posted my miserable state online with the caption, 'This is what happens to mistresses.' Later, I exposed her fake heiress status and revealed the dirty secrets of her and those people who were allegedly giving me an intervention online. Relentlessly attacked by netizens until she had nowhere left to turn, she ended up begging me for forgiveness. I pointed to the edge of the rooftop and said, "Jump, and I'll forgive you."

My husband asked me if bras were more comfortable without underwire, and I was happy that he had finally become more mature. The next day, his assistant snatched the parcel I received in the mail, saying that it had the wrong address. That night, I saw Samantha Davis post on her social media, with the caption, “My boyfriend bought this for me. Isn’t it pretty?” It was a selfie taken in a hotel mirror, and there was a beautifully decorated box containing a bra lying beside her. So, as it turned out, it was not that men became mature later in life, it was that you weren’t the one they were willing to become mature for. Naturally, I gave the post a like and took a screenshot before sending it to my husband. "What a waste. You could have gotten an 20% discount if you bought the whole set."

[Sungguh kasihan ibu ini ditinggal merantau suaminya tapi tidak pernah dikirimi nafkah hingga mengharuskannya bekerja sebagai pemulung padahal suaminya bekerja di pertambangan. Naasnya lagi, saat ini anaknya sedang mengidap penyakit TB. Bagi yang mau membantu Ibu ini dan anaknya bisa kirimkan donasinya ke nomor rekening yang tertera di caption] Bayu terkejut saat melihat berita viral di sebuah akun di sosial media. Pasalnya yang sedang diberitakan itu adalah istri dan juga anaknya yang sedang memulung. Bagaimana bisa keduanya kekurangan hingga harus menjadi pemulung? Sedangkan setiap bulannya Bayu selalu mentransfer uang yang cukup banyak untuk istri dan anaknya ke rekening kakaknya yang bernama Sita.  Apa yang akan dilakukan Bayu?  Apakah Bayu bisa mengungkap apa yang dirahasiakan kakak dan juga ibunya selama dia bekerja? Apakah pernikahan Bayu bisa diselamatkan? 

Menjadi TKW di saat sudah menikah bukanlah hal yang mudah. Ya, aku terpaksa harus merantau ke negri orang untuk memperbaiki perekonomian keluargaku. Setiap bulan tidak pernah apsen kukirimkan uang untuk orang tuaku dan suamiku, Namun siapa sangka, uang yang aku berikan untuk orang tuaku malah dikuras habis oleh suami dan mertua, bahkan orang tuaku sendiri harus bekerja banting tulang untuk menghidupi diri mereka. Begitu banyak kebohongan yang diciptakan oleh orang-orang yang aku sayangi. Tidak hanya suami, mertua dan adik ipar tapi juga sahabatku sendiri. Ia mencuri suamiku. Awalnya aku tidak tahu namun hari itu ia memposting sebuah foto dirinya dengan mertuaku dengan keadaan perutnya yang sudah bunting, pada story itu tidak lupa dibubuhi caption yang menjelaskan bahwa ia berterima kasih pada ibu mertuaku dan mengatakan tidak sabar atas kelahiran bayinya. Aku terkejut bukan main, sedangkan ibu mertuaku hanya memiliki satu anak laki-laki yang tidak lain adalah suamiku, saat itu aku tidak tinggal diam. Langsung saja aku beranjak kembali ke negara asalku untuk membalas penghianatan suami dan sahabatku serta membongkar kebusukan mereka. Lihat bagaimana aku membalskan dendam dan membuat mereka menyesal atas perbuatan mereka.

By month four of my IVF treatments, my husband's childhood sweetheart posted a picture of herself cradling her baby bump. The caption? [Having a happy ending with my first love. A family of three.] And there he was—his hand in the shot, making a cutesy heart with hers. Oh, and the cherry on top? He was still wearing his wedding ring.

My husband's first love posted a video on her social media. In the video, the two of them were passing a playing card with their lips. When the card fell, their lips met in a kiss. They didn't stop—lost in the moment, they kissed passionately for an entire minute. Her caption read: [Still the same clumsy piggy! PS: Steve's skills are as good as ever!] I quietly liked the post and left a comment: [Congrats.] The next second, my husband called, yelling at me furiously, "No other woman is as dramatic as you! I was just playing a game with Lanie. Why are you acting crazy again?" It was then that I realized seven years of love meant nothing. It was time for me to leave.

Tiga bulan sebelum menikah, pacarku memposting di instagram sebuah foto dirinya bersama adik angkatku. Foto itu menunjukkan surat pernikahan mereka dan potret kehamilan adik angkatku. Caption yang dituliskan, [Resmi menyambut kehidupan kecil kami.] Adik angkatku meninggalkan komentar dengan emoji malu-malu. Ibuku memberi tanda suka pada unggahan itu dan menambahkan komentar, [Aku akan menjaga anak itu setelah lahir. Kalian berdua tenang saja menikmati hidup berdua.] Aku tidak bisa menahan diri dan hanya meninggalkan tanda tanya sebagai komentar. Detik berikutnya, pacarku langsung memarahiku habis-habisan. [Dia hanya meminjam status pernikahan denganku selama satu tahun. Setelah anak lahir, aku akan kembali padamu.] [Jangan pelit begitu. Ibu juga sudah bilang, kamu baru boleh menikahiku setelah melahirkan anak laki-laki. Jadi, kita adakan pernikahan dulu, baru urus akta nikah nanti..] Aku hanya menjawab dengan datar, "Oh." Setelah itu, aku menghapus semua unggahan di media sosial yang berkaitan dengannya. Sebagai gantinya, aku memposting hal baru, [Butuh calon pengantin pria. Siapa yang mau menikah denganku?]