Cop Jokes Novels & Stories

My cheeks flamed red in mortification at how he looked standing there giggling like a maniac with an egg plant constructed dick. "Drop that." I whispered before someone else saw him and covered my face in embarrassment. "I swear some men are larger than this." He laughed at his own joke and I looked around wishing the ground will open up. "What if someone sees you doing that?" I asked trying to drag the egg plant from him but he wasn't having it. He was doing the Micheal Jackson dance now , swinging his fake dick left and right and I couldn't help but laugh. Oh God. Where did I know this clown from?

A message bubble lit up under his name, cheerful and oblivious. Just another one of his dry, stupid jokes—something about his dinner being so terrible he was convinced the restaurant was trying to assassinate him with undercooked chicken. He'd probably attached one of those ridiculous GIFs he was always finding, something animated and silly that was meant to make me laugh.

The cabbie tried to start a conversation with me, but one look from me and he shut up really quick. I was really very curious as to why they all were here. "What are all of you doing here. Did someone die or something?" Most of them chuckled at my morbid joke, but both Tony and Lucas shook their heads in distaste. I do not know Tonys character to well yet, but as I have said before Lucas never gets my jokes. Or should I say he does, but never finds them funny.

Answer: "They both fall." The lamest one of all: "Why'd the chicken cross the road?" Answer: "Because he was afraid Snow would fall on him." The jokes weren't really funny or even that creative, but they were shared within my earshot on a regular basis. "Want to hear the latest joke?" Cindy asked, as though reading my mind. I gave her a look I hoped said, no freaking way! "It's actually kind of fun-ny," she said in her sing-song voice. I plopped down next to her and slid on my shoes. "Do I have a choice?"

he replied, a voice full of sarcasm. The man laughed. “I didn’t know that Zero Cohen could joke.” Zero grinned. “Now you know. Also,” he drinks into his beer, eyes in front, “I can easily crack a bone if someone will keep on disturbing me,” he added. The man’s eyes widened and scoffed. “Dude, we’re—” “One…” he interrupted. The man chuckled. “Come on—” “Two…” The bartender who had just finished putting one glass on the other side of the bar counter went in front of the man.

"Okay! Okay! I will stop, but that joke of yours isn't good. Aren't there any more funny jokes?" I sat down next to Shin again. "I still have a lot of jokes," I replied. "Okay let me hear," "Here is a knock-knock joke. Knock-knock," - Me. "Who's there?" - Shin. "Tank," - Me. "Tank, who?" - Shin. "You're welcome!" Shin and I both poker-faced to that joke at the same time so I immediately drew a long line on it. "Knock! Knock!" - Me.

I ask, hoping his explanation satisfies my confusion. "Oh, we apologize about that. Your coffee wasn't toilet water, that was a joke and I know we may have gone overboard with the two days in a roll lockout but our chief prankster couldn't come up with something else. I know it sounds weird but like I said, it's a thing we do here," he explained and I'm baffled. Are these people mentally stable? Are they okay in their heads? How does any of this even make any sense to them?

Then someone in the crowd sneered, their voice dripping with sarcasm. "Oh, that must be Sophia's sugar daddy. Showed up to defend her. She's not picky, is she. She'll take a guy in his fifties." The crowd erupted. Some covered their mouths, laughing. Others joined in openly. "Yeah, I heard she doesn't care about age. Maybe this old man's a regular too." The dean's expression tightened. He turned sharply toward the crowd. "All of you–shut your mouths!" He glanced at my injuries, his voice urgent.

“What? Are you fucking kidding me?” She gave his ass another squeeze and laughed. “I’m fucking with you. Jesus, are you fucking kidding me? No, I lost my job and I want you to help me find a new one.” Down he went, flopping on his back with his hand covering his face. “That was a shitty thing to do.” “No, it wasn’t. It was a joke. Your brains are just congealing at the end of a condom right now.”

"Maybe the director will even make a second movie in the future." As they walked out of the cinema, Coco told Lucas plenty of jokes, one after another. "Isn't it funny? I've told you so many jokes," Coco said. "It is funny," Lucas replied. Coco gave him a doubtful look. "You really think it's funny? But you aren't even laughing." "You want to see me laugh?" Lucas asked in reply, and Coco was at a loss for words. Coco had told him so many jokes only because she wanted him to laugh. She thought he was in a bad mood because of the movie, so she hoped to brighten his mood.