Cop Jokes Novels & Stories

He said he won’t be here! To make things worse, Jackson approached them. Fuck. "Jackson!" JB's monolid eyes shrunk with enthusiasm. He welcomed Jackson with a fist bump. "I was waiting for you! The party is no fun without you." JB laughed meaningfully. "Hell yeah. You know I make things happier all the time." "You're my happy pill, man." "Coke ain't no happy pill, JB. It's a fucking powder." There was an exchange of ridiculous laughter. I guess it's how them crackheads understand each other's humor.

I laughed, knowing that I had hit a sensitive spot. But then, Sophia suddenly looked up at me, a sly grin spreading across her face. "Actually, my ex-husband was a cheapskate," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "He took me to the most luxurious place he could afford... the McD*nald's drive-thru." I burst out laughing, unable to contain my amusement. Sophia's joke was hilarious, and I was impressed by her quick wit. As I laughed, Sophia smiled, looking pleased with herself. "I'm glad I could make you laugh," she said, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

“Jesse, my man, which is why I’m encouraging you to talk some more! It doesn’t have to be about anything life changing. If you were me I’d say crack a joke but I don’t know if you even know any jokes.” “I know jokes.” His face lit up. “Oh yes? Tell me one then.” “Can you guess what the therapist said when I told my therapist I’m scared of dying alone? “Uh, no what?” “He said, “Most people don’t die with the company,” I said, chuckling. “Get it?” Rain looked at Matt. “Matt, am I supposed to laugh at that?” “Ideally someone is supposed to laugh when they tell a joke,” Matt said with a sigh. “Jesse, what have I told you about your morbid jokes?”

“You have called me stupid on multiple occasions, told me I lack brain cells and what else.” “It was all a joke!” Christian defended his actions, but maybe if he never made those jokes in the first place, we wouldn’t have been here. “And I’ve never laughed, not once,” I told him. “Jokes are supposed to be funny.”

He stated his boundaries, making Cam and I laugh lightly. "Fine." "So Cam, I've got new jokes for you." "Alright, let's hear them." "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The interrupting cow." "Did you get that joke from the cartoon 'Home'?" Cam laughed. "Gee, I hoped you wouldn't know it." Rodney clapped his forehead and we all laughed.

“That was... something.” He didn’t even flinch. “Tough crowd,” he muttered under his breath. Tough crowd? Was this a boardroom or open mic night? --- Then came the coffee break. I’d barely made it to the break room when he cornered me with another one of his “brilliant” jokes. “What do you call a sad cup of coffee?” he asked, his voice dripping with enthusiasm. Against my better judgment, I played along. “What?” “A depresso.”

"Cardboard and suffering?" "Exactly." Jonathan’s eyes lit up, happy to see even a tiny smile. "And if that doesn’t work, I’ve got jokes. Why did the painter go to jail?" Lucy shook her head, still wiping tears. "Because he was framed!" A surprised giggle escaped her. "Oh no… that’s actually terrible." "I’ve got more," he warned with a playful grin. "What do you call a fake noodle?" "…What?" "An impasta!"

After the first five rings, Kyle took my phone from me and switched it off. I was seated on the couch, Kyle beside me. I stared blankly into space as memories of the night replayed in my head. I wish I had never gone to that stupid party. "Wanna hear some good jokes?" Kyle smiled. I shrugged. "What do you call a sleeping bull?" He asked, smirking. "A bull-dozer." I replied bluntly. He pouted. I heard Chris' car pull up in the driveway. It wasn't long before Chris made his appearance in the living room.

It was still there, but lighter. “Yeah, pushy, that’s her,” he agreed. “My type? Girls who laugh at my jokes. Even the bad ones. And don’t mind if I suck at dancing.” “Your jokes? All bad, man,” I teased. I stretched my leg out and shoved his swing with my foot. It twisted to the side and he yelped. “Hey! Not all,” he shouted, trying to shove me back with his own foot. “Remember that one about Jax and the pizza? Gold.”

It's another day to be my apparently grouchy self, hands now tucked into my pockets, casually leaning against a lamp post; watching my happy band of colleagues come driving up the road. They come to a screeching halt, almost rubbing off the leather from my shoes, Brett's smiling face sticking out the window, the others laughing at whatever stupid joke was shared between them. An eyebrow lifts in the idiot's direction, a subtle question to ask if he thought this was hilarious, the car's tire only inches from my toes. "Just lighten up will you? " Brett jokes. "Could have been worse. I could have squashed your toes." Collin laughs along with the idiot, while I huff, holding unto the back of the