Cop Jokes Novels & Stories

“Don’t you mean fangtastic?” “I most assuredly do not.” His face was now stern. I rolled my eyes. “OK, got it. Dick jokes are OK but vampire jokes are not. Touchy much?” His mouth was drawn in a thin line “Funny jokes are acceptable. Others should be met with the derision they deserve.” There was a pregnant pause and all silly jokes and puns rushed out of my head, so I settled for rolling my eyes at him as I jumped off the bar stool instead. “Do you have anyone you need to let know you’ll be away?” he asked

I laughed, knowing that I had hit a sensitive spot. But then, Sophia suddenly looked up at me, a sly grin spreading across her face. "Actually, my ex-husband was a cheapskate," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "He took me to the most luxurious place he could afford... the McD*nald's drive-thru." I burst out laughing, unable to contain my amusement. Sophia's joke was hilarious, and I was impressed by her quick wit. As I laughed, Sophia smiled, looking pleased with herself. "I'm glad I could make you laugh," she said, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

“Jesse, my man, which is why I’m encouraging you to talk some more! It doesn’t have to be about anything life changing. If you were me I’d say crack a joke but I don’t know if you even know any jokes.” “I know jokes.” His face lit up. “Oh yes? Tell me one then.” “Can you guess what the therapist said when I told my therapist I’m scared of dying alone? “Uh, no what?” “He said, “Most people don’t die with the company,” I said, chuckling. “Get it?” Rain looked at Matt. “Matt, am I supposed to laugh at that?” “Ideally someone is supposed to laugh when they tell a joke,” Matt said with a sigh. “Jesse, what have I told you about your morbid jokes?”

“You have called me stupid on multiple occasions, told me I lack brain cells and what else.” “It was all a joke!” Christian defended his actions, but maybe if he never made those jokes in the first place, we wouldn’t have been here. “And I’ve never laughed, not once,” I told him. “Jokes are supposed to be funny.”

And they all laughed. Hahaha, very funny, so funny I can't stop laughing :-| . Wow, I've never heard a better joke in my entire life. *insert eye roll*. Lowkey hospital jokes were really lame. And doctors don't fucking know how to joke, most of them have absolutely no sense of humor whatsoever. "Your child is fine. Ha, you wish, April fool's, your child only has two days to live." What is the name of a lab coat with that lame humor?

“That was... something.” He didn’t even flinch. “Tough crowd,” he muttered under his breath. Tough crowd? Was this a boardroom or open mic night? --- Then came the coffee break. I’d barely made it to the break room when he cornered me with another one of his “brilliant” jokes. “What do you call a sad cup of coffee?” he asked, his voice dripping with enthusiasm. Against my better judgment, I played along. “What?” “A depresso.”

It was still there, but lighter. “Yeah, pushy, that’s her,” he agreed. “My type? Girls who laugh at my jokes. Even the bad ones. And don’t mind if I suck at dancing.” “Your jokes? All bad, man,” I teased. I stretched my leg out and shoved his swing with my foot. It twisted to the side and he yelped. “Hey! Not all,” he shouted, trying to shove me back with his own foot. “Remember that one about Jax and the pizza? Gold.”

It's another day to be my apparently grouchy self, hands now tucked into my pockets, casually leaning against a lamp post; watching my happy band of colleagues come driving up the road. They come to a screeching halt, almost rubbing off the leather from my shoes, Brett's smiling face sticking out the window, the others laughing at whatever stupid joke was shared between them. An eyebrow lifts in the idiot's direction, a subtle question to ask if he thought this was hilarious, the car's tire only inches from my toes. "Just lighten up will you? " Brett jokes. "Could have been worse. I could have squashed your toes." Collin laughs along with the idiot, while I huff, holding unto the back of the

“Yeah, I’ll be here. Your room stinks by the way, and you had the nerve to ask Bobbie to stay in here.” Jake groaned and laughed. “Still stupid, Jacky.” “Oh, no, Jake. Jacky took over Dwayne Johnsons’ routine,” I butted in and Jake snickered. “I bet he did... he’s all body but no brains.” Jake mocked, which made Jack laugh loudly. They exchanged more indecent jokes to each other before Jack left the room. My cheeks were hurting from all the laughing from these two. I connected my phone to a Bluetooth headset while finishing my cup of hot Choco.

"Carpentry ain't easy. Jesus 'Whistling Hands' Christ was a carpenter all those years ago, so you know it's tough work." I laughed at his irreverence -- he was always known to run screaming from a church, so the jokes were to be expected. "Where did you hear that one? It doesn't feel like yours." I asked. "A bad movie podcast. We Hate Movies. I steal their jokes more than I want to admit," he said bashfully. "Aww, that's okay. I wouldn't hear them otherwise. So... how long do I have to wait for your revenge?" Ronny glanced back at me. "My next prank? Depends. Do you have any rules you need to establish?" He gave me such a pointed look, he had to have something specific in mind, but I wasn't