Dark Humor Dad Jokes

When I caught my best friend having an affair with my boyfriend , I didn’t react , I only left the scene acting like all was fine . No one consoled me for the pains and the betrayal that I felt , they said I should let it go after all she was my best friend and I should be happy for her . Well, trust me I was . When her dad came unto me begging for just a taste of me , I wasn’t going to deny him such immense pleasure . I never wanted to be fucked , banged and treated like a slut by a man who was old enough to be my father , but then when this feelings that I couldn’t control kept coming in , did I have to give in ? I was nothing but a dirty little slut A bitch , that was what they called me , well I didn’t mind being his bitch as long as they were ruined .

I'm at the amusement park with my husband and our daughter when my blouse—still damp from breastfeeding—catches the eye of a father from my daughter's kindergarten class. He secretly takes pictures of me and starts blackmailing me, demanding a taste. My husband and our daughter are close by, but he grows bolder by the minute and orders me to undo his belt.

Si Lia Constantino ay isang ulila at bayarang babae na nagtatrabaho sa isang club upang suportahan ang kapatid niyang may malubhang sakit. Nang kailanganin ng kapatid ang isang kidney transplant na nagkakahalaga ng dalawang milyong piso, hindi na alam ni Lia kung paano makakakolekta ng ganitong halaga. Hanggang isang gabi, isang misteryosong lalaki, si Dr. Rabino Castillon, ang CEO ng CST Medical Center at isang single dad na may kambal, ang lumapit sa kanya. Nag-alok ito ng limang milyong piso kapalit ng isang kasunduan: magiging asawa siya ng doktor sa loob ng isang taon at magpapanggap bilang ina ng mga anak nito. Dahil sa hirap ng sitwasyon, at para sa kaligtasan ng kapatid, pumayag si Lia. Ngunit habang nagsisimula silang magsama sa isang bahay, unti-unting nahulog ang loob ni Lia kay Dr. Rabino—isang lalaking mahirap maabot at wala ng interes sa babae. Ngunit kung kailan nahulog ang loob ni Lia sa binata ay siya namang pagbabalik ng dati nitong asawa. Ipaglalaban pa rin ba niya ang pagiging asawa, kahit na ang kasal nila ay isa lamang kontrata? At paano kung may sekreto palang tinatago ang kanyang asawa?

I filed to leave Doctors Without Borders a year in advance, just so I could return home, keep my promise, and marry Dennis McMillan. But by the time I got back, Dennis was already a father. I overheard him telling the housekeeper, "Let Anna stay abroad a little longer. Best if she doesn't come back at all. If she finds out I have a son now, she'll definitely cause a scene." It was only then that I understood—he had deceived me. Three years ago, he said to me, "Go spend three years with Doctors Without Borders. Toughen yourself up. Once you are more mature, you'll be ready to be my wife." And I was mature now. I wasn't the same girl who used to break down in tears whenever something went wrong. My tastes had changed too. And now, I wasn't interested in someone like him anymore.

What do twelve years of captivity make of one? What lines behind the new Laurel Brown?Laurel Brown was only eight when she was snatched.Twelve years passed and the Browns had long moved on when Laurel Brown returns with the truth as well as secrets.

The first time Javier Marquez met Claire Weiss, her kid kept calling him Dad. With this one event, two unexpected people crashed into his life. He’s the ruthless and decisive ruler of the business world, who doesn’t care for women and colder than ice. Yet, he inevitably falls for this woman, losing himself to her completely…

He found her when she was at her lowest and offered her the lifeline she needed the most, that was where their story began. When their relationship reaches an all new height, tragedy rips them apart, making him believe that was their end. Six years later he finds her again but she isn't the girl he once knew. Deeply lost in the world of drugs, violence, and gangs will he be able to bring her back to the light, even if it means risking both their lives in the process? Or will they go their separate ways?

SITARA SINHA : A 17 year old girl with a golden heart , as fragile as rose, as innocent as angel , She is everything a man could demand a face with never ending beauty. Her life is a fairy tale which everyone wishes for , until the devil makes his presence and destroys everything. SAMRAT RAICHAND : A 29 year old man , a pure form of a devil. Ruthless , Arrogant and possessiveness is dripping in his every nerve. His life is dark which can drown any light in it. Once he sets his eyes on anything then it will.be snatched and be hidden from the whole world.What happens when his eyes gets caught a beautiful angel who is not meant for him. Will he break her or Cherish her. " YOU ARE MINE.... SITARA....MY SUGAR...MY LOVE...MINE TO CHERISH...AND...MINE TO RUIN ....YOU ARE BORN TO BE MINE....NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO EVEN SEE YOU.....I WILL SNATCH YOU FROM THIS WORLD AND CAGE YOU.....NO ONE IS EVEN MEANT TO LOOK AT YOU.....AM THE ONLY INE WHO HAS EVERY RIGHT ON YOU " , he said while tracing the lower lip of the girl in the picture. " Sugar , Enjoy the little time in this cruel world love until you will be mine.....so soon you will be mine ", he started laughing thinking about his crooked ways to make the girl his.

Helen's world came crashing down when her boyfriend, who promised to make her his luna, cheated on her with his fated mate. As if things couldn't turn more worse, she realized on the night of the blood moon that her mate was her ex boyfriend's father. What would she do when the said man is her father's best friend? And what should they do when her father is against their relationship?

TRIGGER WARNING!! DARK ROMANCE Sexual content, Slavery, 18+, Violence, and Abusive content. Dark Romance, read at your own risk. "So, you made a choice?" His dark voice vibrated in the room, making me flinch. I brought my legs closer in fear, as if I could stop this fear from crawling through my skin, reaching all parts of my body, and nodded my head, whispering "yes.". "Here." He slammed the contract in front of me. I flinched, raised my head, and looked into his dark, angry blue eyes, immediately lowering them in fear. I once wished for him to spare me a glance, and that could make my day, but right now, his deep blue eyes scare me the most, and I don't want him to even look at me. "You are ready to sacrifice yourself to save that motherfucker?!" His angry voice rang in the room with a hint of pain, making me flinch, and an instant guilt followed. I feel so guilty for hurting the man that I love the most, and yet... I am not ready to hurt the other important people in my life. I tried my best to stay calm, not giving him an answer. "Fine! I know how to make you talk!" His voice was low and filled with anger as he said it through his clenched teeth. My hands started to shiver at the thought of going through the same pain he just put me through a few hours ago. How to make me talk? Is ... is he going to hurt me the same way again? 'you deserve it' My conscious replied. --------------- what happens when the person she loves the most hurts her the most? What happens when she is pulled into his darkness that she never knew existed?