Dirty Tagalog Jokes

Hindi na nagugustuhan ni Mary Joy Chua ang sitwasyon niya sa ngayon. Kung kailan inakala niyang giginhawa na ang kaniyang buhay, saka naman siya nasampal ng katotohanang walang silbi ang pera kung hindi pa rin siya importante sa mga mata ng kaniyang ina. Sawa na siyang maghintay, at sawa na rin siyang magbilang ng mga araw. Kung hindi siya kayang gustuhin nito, maghahanap na lamang siya ng lugar kung saan siya ang pinakaimportante sa lahat.

Quinlee Velez has a wealthy but miserable life, despite of that she has a boy bestfriend who is one call away in times of distress and trouble. She always has things planned out to pursue and reach her dreams until one day she meets a guy named Zik, with a contract that ties the knot and who shatters her plans. Felt she was doomed to a life of extreme unhappiness. Marriage is normally one’s happily ever after in the movies but for them it’s a complete opposite of what other’s expect. Are they going to survive? Or ends in break-up and walk in separate ways? All right, let’s see!

Nang magising si Amella mula sa matagal na pagkahimlay, natagpuan na lang niya ang kanyang sarili na walang alaala sa kanyang nakaraan. Ni-mukha niya ay bago sa kanyang mga mata. Maging ang sariling pangalan ay hindi siya pamilyar. Maging ang sarili niya hindi niya kilala. Hindi niya alam kung saan siya magsisimulang hanapin ang sarili, lalo na nang malaman niyang ikinasal na siya sa isang lalaking nagngangalang Christian. At lalong gumulo ang mundo niya nang lumitaw si Hade sa buhay niya. Ang kanyang buhay ay naging magulo at puno ng mga katanungan. Sino si Hade? Bahagi nga ba siya ng nakaraan niya? Ginugulo ng lalaki ang kanyang diwa pati na rin ang kanyang puso. "Ang Dalawang Mukha sa loob ng iisang katauhan"

"Ang mga PUTI at ITIM ay parehong mga lahi ng BAMPIRA na mahigpit na magkaribal sa mahabang panahon simula sa taong Pitong-daan at dalawa (702)." Ang mga puting bampira ay ang mga bampirang itinuturing na mabubuti at may puso ngunit sa kabilang banda naman, ang mga itim ang siyang kabaliktaran. Mga traydor, gahaman, at walang mga puso sa kapwa nilang kalahi. Nang maisilang ang Ikalabing-tatlong Prinsipe ng mga itim ay naalerto ang mga puti dahil nakasaad sa orakulo na matutuldukan na ang kanilang lahi kung maisisilang ang itim na bampirang iyon ngunit hindi nila napigilan ang pagluluwal ng Reyna ng mga itim. Habang lumalaki ang bunsong anak ng Supremo ng mga itim ay mas lalo itong nagiging makapangyarihan kung kaya't nagsagawa sila ng hakbang upang unahan ang nga itim sa gagawin ng mga itong pag-ubos sa kanila. Hindi nila inaasahan na mapapatumba nila ang Prinsipe ng mga itim sa pamamagitan ng isang kemikal na magpapatulog nito sa mahabang panahon. Nagkaroon ng pag-asa ang mga puti nang sabihin ng orakulo na may sanggol na magmumula sa kanilang lahi na siyang tuluyang makakagapi sa Prinsipe ng mga itim. Ngunit, lingid sa kanilang kaalaman na may natitira pa pa lang mga bampira na nagmula sa lahi ng mga itim na desididong muling pabangonin ang kanilang lahi na matagal nang natutulog sa mahabang panahon. Sino lahi ang magwawagi? At sinong lahi ang tuluyang mabubura sa kasaysayan?

(Inspired by the tale: Snow White and Rose Red)Rose Red had already accepted her poor life that only lives by stealing golds and money from others with her partner, Vayne. A shapeshifter from a mysterious tribe called 'Figtus' that always receives discrimination from the other people. With Vayne's shapeshifting skills and Rose Red's amazing magic power, they formed an amazing heist tandem.But things got different when her twin sister named Snow White suddenly became a crowned princess. Rose Red's life became more complicated and found herself in a conflict between blood and friendship. Because of her choice she must face consequences and challenges to seek for the truth.But to reach the truth, secrets must revealed one by one including hers.Note: I do not own the photo used on the cover. Credits to the rightful owner

The De Leon's anual ball is coming, and Miranda's mom is hellbent on pursuing one of the De Leon's prided bachelors to be her son-in-law. Unfortunately, Miranda is her only daughter. Mayroon lamang siyang 0.1 poryentong tyansa na masungkit ang kahit isa sa mga anak ng Don. Lalo pa sa ugali ni Miranda na si-siga-siga at kilos lalaki. 'Sasakit lang ang ulo mo, Maman!' Gayunpaman, no one can deny an Isle their incredible beauty and slyness. Alam ni Miranda na naghihirap na ang kanilang pamilya ngunit para sa kaniya, hindi itong sapilitang daan ang sagot sa mga problema nila. "What?" bulalas ni Shanelle, "You'll—" "Steal." Ngumiti si Miranda. "Habang nagsasaya silang lahat, nanakawin ko ang maliit na parte ng yaman nila." Miranda expected Shanelle to be horrified. Surprisingly, the girl nodded. "Kung 'yon ang gusto mo." Somehow, Miranda felt that there's something wrong with her abrupt acceptance of her evil, well-thought plan. Ngunit hindi na iyon mahalaga. Kailangan niyang maghanda, sa maraming paraan.

Evelyn Bright walked into Ashfield Construction for a typist job and came out a whore. A dirty secret. But all she wants to do now is pick up the pieces of her shattered dignity and walk away. Nothing good can come from falling in love with a cold-hearted bastard like Roman Ashfield. Roman has very simple rules in his contract. If she breaks them she has to leave. It’s less complicated that way. But Evelyn turns his ordered life upside down when she tries to walk away. It’s not love, it can’t be. But what lengths is he willing to go to to keep her where she belongs?

"Shut up and take all our cocks, pretty slut." Three cocks stuffed inside me at once — one buried in my pussy so deep, one stretching my ass wide enough to make me scream, one choking my throat until spit pours down my chin and pools between my tits. ⚠ WARNING ⚠ This book is filthy. Not cute-spicy-chapter filthy. Cum-dripping-from-every-hole-on-the-first-page filthy. If that makes you uncomfortable, close the book. If you're already clenching, keep reading. Throw away every safe, sweet romance you've ever touched. This collection doesn't ask permission. It kicks the door down, drags you to the floor by your hair, and fucks you raw until you forget your own name. No slow burn. No boring buildup. No fade-to-black bullshit. Every story starts fast, hits hard, and doesn't stop until she's stuffed, stretched, dripping, and begging for more. Stepbrothers and stepfathers who fuck her while mommy sleeps, strict professors who fuck their grade A students, Hockey team players who pass her and breed her, dangerous men who settle debts with every hole, Alphas who knot her and lock their cum so deep it stays till the next day. Every dirty, forbidden dynamic you've been too embarrassed to search for — it's in here. These stories explore your darkest kinks. Choking. Breeding. Gangbangs. BDSM. Double penetration. Knotting. Degradation. Praise kink. Wax play. Face slapping. Spitting. Creampies. Cum on her face, in her throat, leaking from every hole. Raw, unprotected, no-pulling-out sex. If the thought of being held down, stretched open, and filled until cum is running down your thighs makes you squeeze your legs together — You're exactly where you belong. Turn the page. Your men are waiting. And they're starving.

Zyle Castillo was raised to become a gentleman. He used to work as a courier of a post office when his path crossed to the thin, clumsy yet gorgeous woman named Arila Collins. Their interests will brought them together until the small spark ignite into a sweet, fiery fire. But the summer was soon to end and there are things that hadn't been discussed yet. They need to do things fast, before it's too late. Before all they can do is to regret and ask what ifs. Or maybe it's just another summer love.

Everyone wants to be me. Who wouldn't? I've got the looks, sexy body, money and Andrew Maru Ottave, my husband. Pero kung malalaman lang siguro nila kung sino at ano talaga ang nangyayari sa buhay ko, hindi ko alam kung gugustuhin pa nilang maging ako. Simula pagkabata ay alam ko na ang aking magiging kapalaran. Wala akong karapatan na mamili kung sino ang gusto kong makasama habambuhay. Dahil sa huli ang mga magulang ko pa rin ang magdedesisyon kung sino ang aking mapapangasawa. It's not a new thing with the elite. My parents are also a product of an arranged marriage. They marry for business and had a child for business. And just like my mom, I will also be a Business Wife.