Drunk Funnies

I used to be so happy with my husband, Ian Shaw, until his first love got too drunk one day and was taken away by five strange men for an entire night. To protect her reputation, he told everyone that I was the one who was kidnapped that night. Everyone criticized me, calling the baby in my belly a child of shame. I questioned Ian hysterically, but he said nonchalantly, "Ruby isn’t married yet. People will laugh at her if the news spreads." I looked icily at the man I had loved for six years, shock taking over as I realized he had probably never loved me back.

My mom treated me like the dirt beneath her shoes but worshiped my cousin like a queen. Since I could walk, I had scrubbed clothes and cooked meals, but I would still be yelled at or smacked if I messed up. On the contrary, my cousin twirled in princess dresses and played the piano. She was cherished by my aunt and uncle like she was the center of their world. Then came the day everything changed. At my cousin's birthday party, my mom got drunk and spilled the secret—she switched me and my cousin at birth. It turned out that I wasn't her daughter; I was my aunt's daughter. I was over the moon. Finally, I thought I'd found my real family, people who might actually care about me. But when I told my aunt, she just smirked. "You think I didn't know? I don't want you. You'll never be my daughter." Her words hit me like a bucket of ice water. I couldn't understand. Why didn't anyone want me? But that day, I made a vow—I'd never beg for anyone's love again. Years later, when I got into Mayward University—the best educational institution in the country—I threw two DNA test reports on the table in front of them. For the first time, they both looked terrified.

My mom ended up in a vegetable state because my husband's childhood sweetheart hit her while drunk driving. When the police asked her to take a breathalyzer, Sarah swore she hadn't drunk anything and dared them to draw her blood for a test. At the hospital, James faked the test results. He staked his career on it, producing a clean report that cleared her of driving under the influence. The day she walked free, he went to pick her up. I screamed at him, "Don't you know she hit my mom?" He shrugged. "Margaret is not dead. She'll wake up, okay? Why are you freaking out, trying to ruin Sarah's life? Will that make you happy?"

Out of her own free will, she started a small adult toy business named, My Passion. One night a man called and placed an order to be delivered at a luxurious hotel. On getting there, and to her surprise the man was no other than Ryan Smith her long-time finance and the worst part was that the woman in his arms was no other than her foster sister Regina Waals. Priscilla feeling cheated, betrayed, and devastated left there and went over to a bar. There she drank and became drunk. She then turned and said next to the stranger beside her will you sleep with me? Sleeping with me comes with a price he said. I will pay you a huge sum of money, she said. The stranger was a mysterious, noble, and handsome man who saved her from danger at the bar. She then pulled out some money from her purse, handed it over to the man, and said if it were not enough she would withdraw and pay him more. Only then did he realize that what she just said wasn’t a joke. He snorted and stared at the drunk woman. What Priscilla didn’t know was that he is CEO of the Lincoln group the richest man in the country. Fredrick Lincoln. This is where her story begins.

When Ethan was at his poorest, he came home drunk after negotiating a deal with a client. He could not even stand straight when he reached home, but he desperately pulled out two pieces of melting chocolate from his pocket. “Honey, for you! Your favorite!” During those endless days of arguments that followed, I always thought back to those two pieces of chocolate. They were the reason I compromised with him, fell pregnant for him, even miscarried for him. It all ended just now, when he forgot to log out of his WhatsApp on his computer. His friend messaged him. [Hey, your wife doesn’t know Anna joined your company yet, does she?] [Back when she was about to leave the country, you searched the whole city for her favorite chocolate, but you still couldn’t convince her to stay. After that, you got dead drunk and cried the entire way home.] [That was when I knew you would never get over her.]

BLURB "If you weren’t my son’s mate, then I wouldn’t waste a second to brand you, to own you, to keep you by my side forever…" he whispers, hugging me from behind. "But I’m your son’s mate, so what we have can't be forever." "What if I tell you that I’m considering taking you from him forever? What if I tell you that I just may ruin him because I am obsessed with you? What would you say?" "I'd say you’re a greedy monster." He chuckles darkly. "Greedy? Just with you. A monster? Sure. If that’s what I should be to keep you by my side for-fucking-ever." I turn to look at him. He isn’t kidding. No hint of amusement on his taut but handsome face. This whole thing just got scarier. It all started as a one-night mess. My mate had cheated on me with my best friend and I fucked his father in revenge. I was drunk, so you can blame it on the booze. But I think I started what I can’t finish. Because now, I just may never get away from my mate’s father who has an uncanny obsession with me.

As a young girl, Amelia had the dreams of her own especially to get married to that man that would love and cherish her. Amelia is the first daughter of the Jackson's family, she was the girl that had it all, breathtaking looks, a father who loves her a lot, a Fiance who was handsome and rich. Unfortunately, she also has a stepmother and stepsister who could ruin everything for her. Betrayed by her step sister, And her best friend, Anabella ended up having a night stand with a stranger. Few months later when she found out about her pregnancy, Amelia was kicked out from her home by her father who value his reputation more than anything else. Six years later, now a superstar actress, A man barges into her life and offered to take her hands in marriage and also take care of Her triplet boys. Not this time when she already had it all. A successful career and three adorable sons. She definitely won't need a man to mess things up for her. ** Mr.Quinn the youngest billionaire was in search of the woman he had a naughty night stand with when he was drunk ... Six years later, he stumbled upon four handsome boys who looked exactly like himself and exclaimed "Who Is your mother?" .

Amelia Montgomery is one of Rosewood High's cheerleaders along with her best friend Stella Hayes. Her and Stella have been friends ever since kindergarten when Amelia fell off the monkey bars and Stella helped her up afterwards. Stella has a brother named Easton Hayes and he has always teased Amelia since she was seven. They both agreed that they thought he was a heartless prick who treats girls like rubbish. One Friday night Amelia decided to go to a party. At the party Amelia ends up slipping and falling into her worst enemies lap, but what makes the situation worse is the fact that some drunk dude accidentally stumbles into her causing her to slide forward and lock lips with none other than Easton Hayes. Oh how Amelia's life couldn't be anymore ruined. ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• I lean in so that our noses are touching which causes us to close our eyes as our breaths become more harsher. "I can't stand being friends with you. Everytime I see you all I want to do is push you against a wall and kiss you" he whispers out which makes me smile a little "So, what are you going to do about it?" I ask him teasingly with a breathless voice "This" he says before he connects our lips which makes me reach up and place my hands on his cheeks.

She was afraid to fall in love. He never lowered the walls of his heart, afraid to face betrayal. Both were busy chasing away the demons of their sleepless nights not knowing when their lives entangled and they crashed into each other, seeking solace from the treacherous world. Valerie Ambrose bumped into Damon Lysander at a downtown club. Eyes met, sparks flew, heat rose, and they ended up having a one-night stand. _ "I don't have cash on me. I forgot my wallet." He slurred, his crystal blue eyes bloodshot red as he stared directly into my eyes, for a moment I thought he was sober, but then he leaned in and whispered in my ear, his breath fanning my neck. "Now are you still interested?" Although the music was blasting through the speakers, but I caught up on his hidden implication. I shook my head in exhaustion "You're drunk Damon. Come I will drop you home." "I don't want to go back there. It hurts Val." He mumbled dryly, but his moist eyes said it all, and I couldn't help but pity him. When I failed to respond he pressed his lips to the side of my neck and inhaled deeply. "Please don't leave me alone." He was barely audible and looked like a mess, a beautiful mess. "I can't bear this anymore." And with that said, he pressed his lips to mine.

"Stop it Tanya, you're too clingy!" Frank Harper shouted on her. Tanya Lewiston stood in tears looking at the man she loved for more than 10 years, cheat on her with her stepsister, three days to their marriage. Tired, hurt and betrayed, she left the hotel only to get drunk and sleep with a stranger who later turn out to be the CEO of Immortal Firm Kenneth Griffin. She had to marry him if she was to save her reputation in the society since the news got out. He has to marry her if he's to remain the CEO. Marriage bound by Contract, who'll have expected that they attended thesame high school and shared love before. As Tanya and Kenneth remained married under contract, Kenneth's elder brother expressed his love to her, and she did not expect that she would be pursued by the two brothers at the same time. To add fire to the already burning Inferno, her stepsister who snatched her husband is out to bring her down at any means. Will their relationship end well after the two-year contract or something unimaginable?