Drunk Funny Stories Novels & Stories

“Yeah, and you know what’s the worst part? He is hot. Infuriatingly hot. It’s like the universe played some cruel joke. ‘Hey, here’s a guy who’s a total jerk, but let’s make him look like a freaking god just to mess with you.’” Ellie smirked, raising her glass again. “Maybe it’s a good thing you’re stuck with him. You are hot, he is hot. If you ever had kids, they would be ridiculously hot. Like, the world wouldn’t be able to handle it. That’s a lot of hotness.” I snorted. “Yeah, if he doesn’t rip the baby from my stomach first.” We both burst out laughing, the absurdity of it all hitting us at once. The alcohol was doing its job, and suddenly everything was funny—too funny. The more we dra

We just looked at her bored, "Hahaha very funny, did you just crack a joke, Oh did we had to laugh Haha, laugh laugh Care laugh, Kath just cracked a joke." And I laughed. "Oh see see she is laughing, I told you it was a good joke." "She's not laughing at your joke dumb head, she's laughing at my joke." Izzy said rolling her eyes. "Whatever" "Wait are you drunk?" "Huh? Nope off course not this is just my first drink, or maybe second or maybe third who knows who cares?" "Are you srsly kidding me?? We have barely started drinking and you are already drunk, Goodness." Izzy said trying to take the drink off her hands.

By the time the waiter came back with our drinks, we were both in tears from laughing so hard. Katie cleared her throat, let out a big gust of air, before gaining her composure and placing her order. I was still laughing and trying to gather my bearings. I was out of breath and had to drink some lemonade in order to calm down from my fit of laughter. “Thailand drunk, really Bree. You are nuts. Haven’t you learned not to drink that much?” She shook her head, still laughing. I shook my head vigorously. “I live vicariously through my adventures of being drunk” I retorted. Sending both of us back into a laughing fit.

"I'll never understand why you men insist on getting falling-down drunk when you can't even take care of yourselves afterward," I mumbled, equal parts irritated and exasperated. All he did was laugh, then started singing and humming like a complete fool. His eyes were shut, grinning like an idiot as he slurred through the words. There was no doubt he was completely wasted. I bet he have no idea what he was doing. One minute he was snarling and bitter, the next he was giggling and singing nonsense. I swear, drunk people make no sense at all.

Lyra sipped hers. Big mistake. Her face contorted like she’d just licked a lemon made of lava. “Why would anyone willingly drink that?” she gasped. “Because,” I said, grinning, “it makes everything seem funnier. Watch.” At that exact moment, a man tripped over a bar stool and fell face-first into someone’s nachos. Lyra giggled. The sound was music. “You’re insane,” she whispered. “Comes with the territory.” ---

since she couldn’t remember when. She told Svetlana stories from her time in foster care, carefully leaving out the darker parts, focusing instead on the funny people and silly accidents. Svetlana, in turn, gossiped about old school friends, their lives a tangled mess of scandals and successes. At one point, a woman, clearly drunk, tried to do a twerk dance near the boat’s edge, lost her balance, and fell with a loud splash into the dark water. Everyone on the boat burst out laughing, Claudine loudest among them, tears streaming down her face from pure joy.

Since I’m sitting here amongst vampires, I’m pretty sure I’m going to need it. “And then I told him to go fuck himself.” The table goes into an uproar of laughter as I tell them about one of the many times Aiden screwed me over. Apparently, my failed love life is entertaining. Four shots and a mixed drink later, and I’m feeling light-headed, laid back, and I’m now showing my ass. I turn into a completely different person after a couple drinks. I really am a horrible drunk.

Andra and Jack had drinks before them and Andra was tipsy already, her body movements, irregular and somewhat dazed. She knew she was drunk but she was aware of a level of control she still had over herself. Jack was telling her a funny story about his childhood as he poured the drink into the empty glass she had just finished. He talked about how he stole powdered milk from the pantry in the house and was denying it before his mother who spotted traces of the powdered milk around his mouth.

A few hours later. I can't say I'm fully drunk; I'm a bit beyond tipsy, but I can still navigate. However, Elena is completely out of her mind drunk. We sway and dance unsteadily as we make our way to our rooms. I do my best to steady both Elena and myself as I pull her along to her room. Once inside her room, we collapse onto her bed. She turns away and starts laughing. "You're so drunk, Iron Man. I miss Diego, I hate Diego, I hate my mother, I hate everyone—except for Daddy."

The cold beer was disappearing from the large glass mugs with surprising rapidity. John almost emptied his glass in one gulp, leaving some dark, frothy liquid at the bottom. Conrod is unhurried, eating freshly cooked meat. The light twilight of this small bar gave it a certain mystery and a sense of comfort. Small lamps, in the form of drops, like clusters of vines, hung from everywhere. The waiter brings another mug of unfiltered beer. The casual conversation of old friends continues. A slight ripple of intoxication ran through Conrod's head. John, too, was far away from him. He broke into a satisfied smile as he told another story. This time it was a story about a stoned taxi driver who mi