Fucked Up Jokes

She was left at the altar. Her fiancé married another woman right in front of her. Joan Richard's perfect life collapsed in a single moment. Humiliated and grieving she disappears to a quiet town with nothing but her father’s old motorcycle and a heart full of rage. There, she meets Jax Wolfe a rugged, tattooed biker with a past as brutal as hers and a name that isn’t what it seems. He’s running from a bloodstained past. She’s running from betrayal. Neither of them is looking for love. But love doesn’t wait for permission. It crashes in loud and fast, like chrome on asphalt. And love on two wheels? It’s dangerous. It’s reckless. And it never comes without a price.

Setelah aku meninggal, orang tuaku menandatangani surat persetujuan donor organ dan memberikan retina mataku kepada anak angkat kesayangan mereka, Emma Moore. Emma pun menikah dengan kakak kandungku. Mereka hidup bahagia sebagai keluarga yang utuh. Seumur hidup, aku selalu bersaing dengannya, tetapi ujung-ujungnya aku kehilangan segalanya dan berakhir tragis. Setelah terlahir kembali, aku memilih menjalani hidup tanpa memikirkan siapa pun dan justru itulah awal dari kebahagiaan yang tak pernah kuduga.

“Get the fuck away from her!” Owen shouted his voice heavy with desperation. “She is my Luna.” “No, Alpha.” Damon replied. “She’s mine.” *** Omega Callie always lived a quiet and humble life, with her fantasies of finding a mate one day. When the day finally came, her mate turned out to be none other than the Alpha of her park. Sadly, she was rejected and hurt. Her fate was sealed until Lycan Damon had a reason to visit her park. But with every blessing, comes a curse. Will Callie accept her new life regardless of the circumstances? Would she finally get her revenge? Explore a tale of romance, suspense, treachery, and love. The fascinating novel ‘Prophecy of the Lycan Queen will have you reading until the very last page.

Untuk menyembuhkan depresi si putri kaya palsu, kekasih masa kecilku yang pernah bersumpah hanya akan menikah denganku, Darryl, diam-diam pergi mendaftarkan pernikahan dengannya. Di belakangnya, aku menyetujui perjodohan keluargaku. Aku menikah dengan pewaris keluarga konglomerat di ibu kota, Vincent, yang diam-diam telah mencintaiku selama bertahun-tahun. Setelah tujuh tahun menikah, dia memanjakanku sepenuh hati. Malam demi malam dia selalu menuntut kemesraan dariku. Bahkan jika aku menginginkan bintang di langit, dia tetap akan berusaha mengambilkannya untukku. Aku sempat mengira, akhirnya aku telah menemukan kebahagiaan. Hingga suatu kali setelah bercinta, aku tidak sengaja mendengar percakapan Vincent dengan sahabatnya. "Avril sudah jadi aktris internasional peraih penghargaan. Kapan kamu mau pisah sama Ariel?" "Toh sama saja harus nikah sama orang yang nggak kucintai, jadi mau sama siapa pun itu nggak ada bedanya. Lagi pula, aku harus jaga Ariel agar dia nggak mengganggu kebahagiaan yang didapatkan Avril dengan susah payah." Aku membuka komputer di ruang kerjanya. Di dalam sebuah folder tersembunyi, tersimpan ratusan ribu foto Avril dan seratus surat cinta yang tak pernah dia kirimkan. Setidak percaya apa pun pada kenyataan, saat ini aku benar-benar sudah harus sadar. Aku membeli sebuah tubuh plastik, lalu merancang sebuah kebakaran besar. Mulai saat ini, entah di langit atau di neraka, aku tak akan pernah bertemu dengannya lagi.

They say don't make deals with the devil. But what if it's the devil you know? Caution! This might make you lose your morals, question if you've ever been horny, take away your innocence, until you lose yourself with each nut. Warning, this may get really slippery. I'd advise you to grab some tissues. I didn't need tissues. Andrade's tongue licked the wine as it flowed down my hole. In a swift motion that made me lose my mind. His firm hands pulled me closer, spreading me as he fucked me with his tongue. “Fucking virgin..” he muttered. Don't talk with your mouth full. Hell, I didn't know I was gay until I met Andrade. And now, all I wanted was his big cock inside of me. How did I go from marrying his sister to being his little plaything? Well, I've made a deal with the devil, and I signed it with my body.

Isabella Cohen had better things to do than listen to her father go on and on about her getting married to the latest man who had impressed him, as if her father wasn't fucking his assistant every Thursday and Saturday. So, when she was given the choice to either marry Ethan Hawthorn (the biggest asshole on the planet with an even bigger ego), or be disowned, you better believe she packed her bags, transferred money to her secret account and took the first plane from New York to Italy. Stephan Ferrari was bored. Now you might think being head of the Italian Mafia was exciting and full of adventure, but you would be wrong. Stephan had killed all his enemies, partied for a week straight at the best clubs in Italy (which all belonged to him) and fucked women of all types, yet he will still left with an empty feeling inside. So, when he got report that the leader of the American Mafia's daughter was seen at Leonardo da Vinci-Fiumicino Airport, well he may have found his new Queen. And if he could ransom said queen to toy with the Cohen family, then that was an added bonus

I pulled my top down and brought his lips to my tight nipples and he sucked on them and gave them a soft bite that made me quiver and moan. He knew I liked it and immediately pulled my bottoms down. "Let's see how wet you are" he softly said. He stuck two fingers inside me and it made my whole body relax as he curled them in and pulled them out again, revealing two very sticky fingers. "You want more ?" I nodded and pushed his hand back inside of me as he pushed them in slowly and deeply inside me. Then he turned his hand over and it made me moan when he came down and began to suck on my clit and get me closer and closer to an orgasm. I pulled his head up and stroked his hair. He began to get harder and I got more and more anxious. "Please put it in me" I pleaded but he told me to be patient. I could do that and he didn't disappoint when he slowly stopped eating me out and jacked himself off in front of my opening. It was so hot as he fingered me deeper and harder I thought he was never going to put it in me when he flipped me over with my legs and fucked me hard and deep. I gasped when he entered me because of how veiny and ribbed his dick felt inside me. He pushed deep and kissed my back and neck as he clenched my nipple and twisted it making me moan. I was confused because I am in love with another shifter who loved me equally. My wolf recognizes him as my mate too. How can this be possible? How am I going to deal with this?

I pulled my top down and brought his lips to my tight nipples and he sucked on them and gave them a soft bite that made me quiver and moan. He knew I liked it and immediately pulled my bottoms down. "Let's see how wet you are" he softly said. He stuck two fingers inside me and it made my whole body relax as he curled them in and pulled them out again, revealing two very sticky fingers. "You want more ?" I nodded and pushed his hand back inside of me as he pushed them in slowly and deeply inside me. Then he turned his hand over and it made me moan when he came down and began to suck on my clit and get me closer and closer to an orgasm. I pulled his head up and stroked his hair. He began to get harder and I got more and more anxious. "Please put it in me" I pleaded but he told me to be patient. I could do that and he didn't disappoint when he slowly stopped eating me out and jacked himself off in front of my opening. It was so hot as he fingered me deeper and harder I thought he was never going to put it in me when he flipped me over with my legs and fucked me hard and deep. I gasped when he entered me because of how veiny and ribbed his dick felt inside me. He pushed deep and kissed my back and neck as he clenched my nipple and twisted it making me moan. I was confused because I am in love with another shifter who loved me equally. My wolf recognizes him as my mate too. How can this be possible? How am I going to deal with this?

"What are you waiting for Louisa? What part of this do you not understand? What makes you think in that fucked up brain of yours that I'll ever accept you back? You are a slut! You betrayed me and now, you can get the fuck out of my life. Jenna and I"— he entwined their fingers together—" are a thing now." "She's lying to you! She's manipulating you with her looks Alex! She's framing us, trying to ruin our lives!" I sobbed. "Sign the divorce papers now!" he thrusted the divorce papers at me but I bluntly backed away in pain. **" Louisa's perfect world crumbled when her husband, Alex, presented her with divorce papers. The blow was crippling, coming at the very moment she had discovered she was pregnant – a miracle after three years of struggling with infertility. The most crushing blow came when she realized that her husband has been sleeping with her best friend to hurt her. Louisa was forcibly evicted from her home in the rain, jeered and mocked. She's an orphan and has no one to turn to. Surprisingly after an accident, she met a stranger who revealed a shocking truth: she was the heiress to a vast fortune, left behind by her deceased parents. Louisa moves on with her life and three years. She rose to prominence in the business world, forging a lucrative empire and raising her twins. She's cold as ice. Then Alexander reappeared, remorseful and contrite. He badly wants to make things right and do whatever it takes to win her back.. Will she want him back into the lives of her kids?? Or will she give her heart to someone new.. Alexander's rival and former best friend.

Mia was hopeless. She was starting to believe that life after college was so cruel for someone like her. Puro rejected ang job applications at wala na halos makain until she found belongingness with strangers in an online world Diamond Hub. Sa isang iglap, nakakalimutan niya na ang problema niya. Sa isang iglap, pinag-aagawan na pala siya.