Funniest Ways To Die Novels & Stories

Emilia Rutherford thought she left her haunted past behind, until a car crash, a cryptic warning, and a bloody trail bring it roaring back. Now, in a town that feels too quiet and eyes that watch too closely, she’s pulled into a world she never knew existed. Shifters. Blood feuds. Secrets buried under generations of silence. Asher, the quiet farmhand with eyes like gold, knows more than he says. And Victor... the ruthless Alpha with a claim on Emilia’s soul will stop at nothing to make her his. But fate has its own plans. And Emilia may be the key to unraveling everything. When destiny collides with survival, only one truth remains: THE ALPHA MUST DIE!

In the VIP lounge of an underground casino, Maeve, the Falcone family's princess, had been plied with too much hard liquor. Fueled by alcohol, someone goaded her into revealing the most shameless thing she'd ever done to win over the Don. She swirled her glass, pointed at me dealing cards behind the table, and threw her head back with a laugh. "Seven years ago, when Declan was in a coma after a shootout, I took his private phone. And I deleted the distress message that bitch sent him. Every last trace of it. Then I replied in his name: You're a burden. Go die." "You'll never guess what happened next. That idiot stood outside the safe house all night in a downpour, like a stray dog. I almost died laughing…" The room erupted in crude laughter. Only the man enthroned at the head of the table remained silent. The crystal whiskey glass in his hand shattered with a sharp crack. Blood mixed with the amber liquor, trickling over the veins on the back of his hand before dripping onto the carpet. His murderous, bloodshot eyes were locked on me. I calmly dealt the last hole card in front of him and offered a clean, white silk handkerchief. "Don Declan, you should wipe your hand. Blood on the felt is bad luck." After all, some stains never wash out.

" W-What do you think you are doing?". I said almost in a whisper. " I am , my wife I am here to make our marriage night a memory ". He said with no emotions or may be I can not see them because he is smirking. " You forced me I will never be your WIFE! ". I almost shouted the last part but I guess that was a mistake because his dark eyes became more darker as he pressed himself on me . (Unedited Version but Story and Plot are great. Read at your own risk)

After my family joined hands to send me to prison for three years, I start learning how to behave myself. I do whatever everyone else tells me to do. The day I'm released from prison, my wife, Regina Johnson, sits in the car and says coldly, "If you ever lay those hands of yours on Ty again, I'll…" Before she can say anything else, I jump out of the car, pick up a brick from the side of the road, and smash my hand into a pulp with it. Regina stares at the bone sticking out and goes pale. When we get back home, Tyler Lowe, my adopted younger brother, ambushes me in the bathroom and scoffs. "So what if you're the biological son of the Lowe family? I can just as easily have you kicked out of the family!" Then, he uses a blade to make a small cut on one of his fingers before crying out in alarm, "If you really hate me, Cal, I'll leave right away! Please don't kill me!" Regina and my older sister, Calista Lowe, enter just in time to witness his display. Shaking with anger, they stomp on my wound with their high heels. "You haven't changed one bit! If anything happens to Ty, I'll make you pay for it with your life!" I nod obediently and march straight to the kitchen, where I jump into the massive meat grinder before turning it on. The blood and bits of flesh spray all over Mom and Dad, who end up walking in right then. Mom lets out a shrill shriek before fainting, while Dad forces himself to remain composed as he turns off the power. At this point, even Regina, my sharp-tongued wife, can't find the words to say anything. She stands frozen, her body trembling. When we're inside the ambulance, Tyler clings to Regina, quivering as he says, "This has nothing to do with me! He jumped into the machine himself. You have to believe me!" It's almost impossible for me to stay conscious through the unbearable pain, but I muster the strength to nod along with him. After failing to win over my family, I'd spent three years in prison. Later on, the system told me that if I showed absolute obedience until the day I died, I would receive massive financial compensation and be transported back to my original world.

Tell us how you managed to capture the heart of these dangerous men?” The host asked. The audience waited for their response. “ Well, I don't think I encountered many obstacles like the rest” Jenna chuckled as she glanced at them. “ He loved me too, let go of his dark side, changed for me. Everything changed when I broke up with him, I…misunderstood him. I waited for eight years thinking he would beg me, but he didn't, then fate brought us back. That was when I learnt his dark side never leaves, always with him…” she laughed. “ But it's too late to run away from him” “ Thank you, Mrs Hindelys. What about you, Miss Kelly?” “ Err… I knew he didn't love me, but still chose to love him, he might be cold and quiet, but his heart whispers a lot, so I chased him and found myself in his trap, unable to leave” Kelly laughed with the audience” That's how I'm struck with your Big boss” “ Hahahaha, that's funny, please Mrs Lisa … how did you end up with Mr Norman?” “ I knew he had an eye for another person, but couldn't stop myself from falling for him… he treated me badly, so I thought he hated me, I decided to stop bothering him, but the thing is, he actually cares for me, he did that to protect me” “ Wow…” the host laughed and moved to the next person. “ What about you, Miss Elizabeth, how did you manage to capture the heart of the greatest doctor” “ I want him, so I got him, he was my boss so I slept with him by mistake, he was drunk and mistook me for his ex. So we're fated” “ Hmmm, I love that, thank you for sharing your wonderful experience with our leaders”

WARNING: NOT FOR KIDS BELOW 18 YEARS OF AGE There are a hundred and one ways to pleasure a little muse. Either by exploring their kinks or fucking them all the way through to the underworld. At first, it all started with attraction at first sight, then it spiraled into secret wants, obsession, wet dreams, until these muses could no longer contain their desires for their forbidden other. However, Big domineering daddies, hot step-brothers, handsome-so-much-it-hurts boyfriend’s dads, are so fucking ready to teach these little muses what it is to taste pleasure first hand. And how much forbidden fruit tastes better and sweeter even.

The day my birth parents found me, the reunion banquet they threw turned into their funeral. My parents and their adopted daughter, Leila, died of food poisoning that night. The only one who survived was my older brother, Alpha Kian. He didn’t like sweets, so he never touched the cake. The cake that I handed to them myself. “So you want to take Leila’s place. “You’re just jealous because she got all our love! “She was the only one who ever accepted you, and you still killed her!” Those were Kian’s exact words as he shouted at me right outside the hospital room. From that day on, I became a sinner. To make up for it, I barely slept four hours a night and worked five jobs just to buy back the villa the rival pack seized during the chaos. However, the day I finally saved up enough, I saw my dead parents throwing a birthday party for Leila in that very villa. Kian stood among them, looking at her with a warmth I didn’t recognize. My mother said, “Isn’t today also Lily’s birthday? It’s been eight years. Maybe it’s time to forgive her.” However, Kian didn’t hesitate to refuse. “No. Even though Leila sniffed out the wolfsbane and saved you, we agreed that Lily gets ten years. “We can’t risk her ever trying to poison Leila again. Not even a day less.” I clutched the diagnosis paper from the clinic tightly and laughed through my tears. I knew I wouldn’t get to ten years. I was already dying.

Content Warning ⚠️ This series is extremely explicit and intended for mature audiences 18+ only. It contains graphic sexual content, intense taboo relationships, BDSM, power play, dubious consent, breeding, and morally gray characters. Reader discretion is strongly advised. ༺ ✦ ༻ Welcome to The Sex Chronicles: 100 Ways to Sin. Where lust devours morality and the most forbidden touch feels like heaven. Step into a world where desire refuses to stay hidden. Where a daughter’s pulse quickens every time her devastatingly handsome stepfather walks into the room. Where a straight best friend’s drunken kiss turns into nights of raw, confused, insatiable hunger. Where innocence is slowly stripped away, layer by layer, until all that remains is dripping need and sweet corruption. These one hundred stories don’t merely tease, they consume you. Good storyline wrapped around filthy, explicit encounters that will leave you breathless. The slow burn of forbidden longing finally exploding into rough, possessive fucking. The whispered confessions between tangled sheets. The power struggles that end with wrists pinned and bodies trembling in surrender. Imagine craving the one man you should never want… and finally letting him ruin you. Imagine watching your straight best friend drop to his knees for the first time, eyes dark with newfound lust. Professors. Mafia kings. Best friend’s fathers. Priests fighting their last shred of faith. Dominants who command total submission. Lovers who blur every line between pleasure and pain. Every story is dripping with sensual detail, slick skin, aching arousal, dirty promises moaned against heated flesh, and orgasms that shatter control. One hundred sins. One hundred delicious descents into pleasure. So tell me, love… How deep are you willing to fall tonight?

Maria is trapped in a loveless marriage with Damian Lee, a powerful conglomerate heir rumored to never stay loyal to one woman. But instead of fearing betrayal, she is trying to make it happen because if Damian cheats, she gains control of his company shares. To trigger it, she recruits Hannah Barker, a broke but sincere girl who accidentally gets pulled into a world of luxury, lies, and power games. As Hannah tries to survive her new job, she becomes unknowingly entangled in Maria’s scheme. Meanwhile, Damian remains an enigmatic figure at the center of everything: desired, misunderstood, and far more complex than either woman believes.

The witch told us my older sister would die at sixteen, and her prophecies had never been wrong. From that moment on, my sister became the most important one in the family. The best venison was saved for her. The rare white fox fur was given to her. Every night, our parents told her bedtime stories. I knew she was pitiful, but I still felt hurt and resentful. Then, on the day she turned sixteen, a sharp pain spread through my chest. Afraid I would cause trouble, my parents locked me in the basement. “Mom, please…” I cried, pounding on the door. “I can feel my wolf spirit getting weaker. Let me out…” However, Mom said without hesitation, “No! Today is an important day for your sister. “She only has one day left. Just bear with it…” When I finally closed my eyes and my soul drifted out of my body, I saw the living room filled with warm candlelight. My parents were holding my sister who was alive and well as they cried. Only then did I realize that the witch’s prophecy had never been wrong. The one meant to die was never my sister.