Funniest Ways To Die Novels & Stories

"What did she do this time?" "She tried to kill me with a glass full of orange juice. Poured it out and pointed the glass at me." I rolled my eyes. This woman was a bold and rebellious. It made me nervous. John started laughing, covering his mouth. "What exactly are you laughing at? I could be dead now." I said. "No, you couldn't. We both know that very well. It's funny that she tried at all. No one else had gone against you like that before."

Saying this, they smiled at Ashley while she kept crying silently as one of them was still holding the gun in her mouth. Option one is to put six bullets from this gun in your forehead. Or we will cut you into pieces and feed you to the dogs. Or there is another option, we will throw you alive among sharks. Now you tell us how you want to die. We will kill you in the way you want to die. Although we wanted to bury you alive or skin you alive. This is our favorite way to punish someone. But since you are the lover of a powerful person, we are giving you options. Now tell us how you want to die? "

I suddenly blurted out just as Fiona began mixing some concoction to reduce my stress levels. Fiona stopped at once, giving me a look that suggested that she was surprised. “And if you actually die?” She spat, arching her brow. “Don't you think this is a bit too extreme?” She asked, resuming her mixing. Pretending to die wasn't merely a simple act. Only a few people who had tried it came out successfully. It required that the person be poisoned and then presumed to be dead only to be given the antidote when no one was looking.

I groan hopelessly, falling back to the ground. "The easiest way to die is to kill yourself. That way, you will be relief from all this. No one can kill you except yourself." Nana scoffed. "You are wrong." Jaden's voice came in at that moment, drawing everyone's attention to him.

That was probably the same look I gave him. “You know, drowning is the fourth most painful way to die.” She crinkles her nose in a slightly disgusted way, “What? No it isn’t.” I nod, “I’m pretty sure I read it in an article once.” She rolls her eyes, “Is this your way of telling me that it was foolish of me to try to kill myself and I should appreciate the true meaning of life?” She says in an over-the-top theatrical way that makes me smirk. “It isn’t and trust me it wouldn’t help if I did.”

Crystal countered back. I pursed my lips and shrugged. "I think the worst way to die is when you do not know about it. Like dying in one's sleep. You know when they're stabbed, butchered, jump off a plane, or are involved in an accident, they have that whole my-life-is-flashing-in-front-of-my-eyes moment but when they die of no cause at all, it's worse." They all stared at me like another head had sprouted out of the side of my neck like a blooming rose. "Damn," Crystal said. "That's kind of deep-ish."

It’s satisfying to watch him struggle for air until he’s choking on his own blood. The best way to kill someone slowly is to puncture a vital lung or artery and watch the life slowly fade from their eyes. I can’t pretend that I didn’t get any satisfaction watching his life-sustaining blood drain from his body. I also can’t say that I didn’t enjoy watching him struggle for breath. Men like him deserve a terrible end, and I’m here to guarantee that they get what they deserve.

I replied, and a small twisted smile formed on her face. "Mercury poisoning," she said with a smile on her face. "That was my favorite option. Very difficult to detect in time, besides being a long and painful death. The second was to drain all his blood, I would drug him as much as I could and then, I just needed a small incision in the jugular and boom, dead in minutes. "The third was overdose or drown him, I never decided," she sighed, before closing her eyes. "I wish he was dead."

Camille laughed or tried to, but only guttural gurgling, a sound she was slowly starting to associate with her death, spluttered through her lips. "You think it's funny, don't you?" he asked. Yeah, it was funny, Camille thought as she gurgled again, and blood trickled down the corner of her lips. She always knew she was going straight to hell, but she never thought it would be in such a violent manner.

"Damn! That's real brutal of her!" Cyrus was greatly astonished. "Most people would either choose to jump from a building, slit their wrists, or take sleeping pills when they try to take their own lives, just so that they won't die a painful death. I can't believe that she actually dared to shoot herself. She was really determined to die!"