Funniest Ways To Die Novels & Stories

Hopeless to call on Dean, it'd only distract him. You know how people say, you only know what you have when you lose it? I guess, it was then I appreciated the friendship with Dean. My life back on earth, everything. I could remember Dean licking ice cream for the first time as it fell on his shirt and he licked it. Said, nothing this delicious should go to waste. I laughed, but no sound came out. It was funny, being in front of death yet only happy memories I thought about. Life is funny like that, you only remember the best, when you're faced with the worst case scenario. You laugh out loud when you're dying, not because you're happy, but because death is comical.

He said as he left my room. Tafana is the fastest and most risky way to die, how is it possible that the little witch survived? What trick has she played on us?

It was a man’s, “There is always a way to push everyone out of the way.” “How?” The elder chuckled dryly, “There are a hundred ways to die.”

Kyle laughed out loud. “Oh, I can imagine what facial expression he would have, on his face. I’m sure you’re going to laugh so bad that you might have to use the restroom, a few times. By the way, their little girl would have to die in one of the most painful ways of death – poisoning!”

Adrian’s friends moved faster than he did. One of them reached out and ripped it from my hand, ending the call mid-ring. Another laughed under his breath, like he’d just seen something absurd. “Seriously?” someone scoffed. “Your fiancée runs into a little trouble and the first thing she does is call her mommy?” Another chimed in, shaking his head with a laugh. “Adrian, this is next-level childish. We’re grown adults, not kindergarteners. What’s she going to do next—cry for a nanny?”

She looked so pitiful. If she were to live in a dream right now, she might as well die in her dream. However, where can she go to die? Drowning was one of the most painful ways to die. The water would enter the nasal and oral cavities, fill up the heart and lung, and suffocate her. After that, her body would be swollen and emit a foul odor. Jumping off a tall building? It would be very tragic if the suicide wasn't successful. She would be disabled. In addition, it was too ugly to die like that.

"We have a winner! You’re going to slit your wrists." I looked at her, horrified. "That’s *horrible*." "That’s the point," she said, waving a hand dismissively. "At least that way, you’ll die slowly. Trust me, it’s way better than all the others. Have you tried hanging? *Ugh.* I’m telling you, slashing your wrist is the best way out of this." I swallowed, my mind scrambling for something—anything—to say. Meanwhile, she was already moving on to logistics.

"You know, when I get sick of you, I may just pull that stunt. Kill me and frame you for it. So we're both dammed." "Is that your way of telling me you're suicidal?" He narrowed his look. "Only for you." I repeated his earlier words. Chuckling, he got off the chair and went back inside. "What are you doing?" I thrust my head curiously. "When you die, it'll be one of three things: Me choking you. I toss you off a cliff. Or you kill yourself because you'd hate yourself when you realise you don't hate me." He pulled a house phone, which I must have missed. I scoffed, then tailed him.

“We’d starve to death.” “But what a way to die,” Rhett smiled fondly, stroking his hand over the back of Cameron’s shoulder blade. “A better way to die than most people live.”

She slurred. Levi and Mateo, “But there is one thing I still want – if I die in a very cool way – like shot to death or something – not die from old age or boredom.” She rolled her eyes, “And one of you has to tell the other about my death. I want you to say BLAIRE DOWN,” She laughed. “I think it is a very cool way of declaring my death.” She slurred. Mateo chuckled and took the glass from her hand, “Okay, yeah – I think you had enough.”