Funniest Ways To Die Novels & Stories

And death. “It’s just comfort,” Speedy said. He was alert that night, an unusual change from his drooling, incontinent self. Mykel thought about candles and about how they burned brightest just before they went out. “I don’t know if Woods would approve.” “Just half an hour. Help me walk in. I’m weak. She’s scared. The little one’s dying.” “Look, you should be resting.” “I’ll rest when I’m dead, boy,” Speedy said, letting go of Mykel’s arm. “And you’ll rest too someday. ‘Til then, let us live. No woman should cry alone in the night, not on Christmas.”

I always pictured my death being an epic display of bravery and vigor, filled with explosions, bullets, and Satan personally welcoming me into the blazing gates of hell for my service here on Earth. But I couldn’t imagine a better way to die than with Ace wrapped in my arms, listening to his vulgar jokes, and exchanging I love yous before we breached the chasm of the unknown. His undeniable willingness to jump out of a plane without a parachute just to die beside me was his last and final grandiose gesture of unconditional love.

Different sizes. Oh shit. Death by shovel. Shit. No. Just no. This paranoid asshole wasn't kidding around. And at the moment, death by asphyxiation sounded better in my head. ◇

blabbing " please just let me go, I wouldn't even taste good, am very skinny and your gods wouldn't even like me, and if you want to sell my organs, let me inform you that my organs wouldn't even work fine without me, the moment you kill me my organs stop, so please just let me go. I finished, I just hope they listen to me, my breathing came out heavy as I just said those words with so much speed, I don't think I've ever talked that fast. It became too quiet for my liking and before I could really understand what was happening, I heard laughter, yes laughter, maybe they were laughing at the fact that I think they would let me go, or maybe they don't understand English and found my strange la

Charlie nodded his head as he laughed and said disdainfully, “I have never believed that there could be a person who could be very courageous no matter what happens!” After that, Charlie looked at everyone who was kneeling in front of him, including Gibson, Gibson’s family, and Max before he said sharply, “I can be very responsible and I can tell you that today will be your death anniversary. None of you will live past today. However, there are many different ways to die. Some methods of death might be very painful and some methods of death might be very fast. Whether it is a fast or painful death would depend entirely on your own performance.”

“Why do you all want to die a painless death? You know it is never going to happen.” “The best thing I can do is to give just one person a painless death and the other rest will die a painful and anguish death.” I said to them. “Next!!!!!.” “I would want to be burnt to death.” The last one answer and I let out a creepy smile.” “This is the only one that want to die a painful and anguish death.” “I have seen my winner!!!” “Since you choose to die a painful death without being scared, I hereby offer you a painless death.”

"Underpants." To his credit, he didn't outright laugh, but he sound incredulous when he said, "Seriously?" She bobbed her head. "Unfreakn' believable." He couldn't help his sarcasm from showing through when he added, "Let me guess, those are usually missing too?" "No. But they don't belong to the prisoner either." "Geez, this is getting weird." "No, this is weird. The third accidental deaths are drowning." "How does someone drown in a cell?" He no sooner asked than he uttered, "Oh. Ooooh." He blew out a breath. "The ultimate swirly. What a rotten way to go."

At first, I was shocked by the large amount of money they put into their stupid bet, but soon the shock was replaced with astonishment by their wild imagination. Death by drowning was, of course, there, and no surprise it was Boris's pick. They also included driving into a ditch, choking on food, even breaking my neck after falling from the stairs, and many other stupid things. It may sound insensible, borderline sadistic to bet on my death, but in their defense, it all happened to me before.

RYAN There are so many ways to kill. This, I have realized from reading books and experience itself. From my findings, there is the easy way of poisoning ones food, injecting said poison straight into the heart or even pushing the person down a cliff. Then the hard ways involve strangling, drowning, burning, amputation of the body bit by bit. As my mind go the latter, I feel a slight low burn at me back and sides, so I roll over in the mattress to get comfortable. My body had not been cut off, but by back and the sides of my ribs tell a different story.

I was attentive to whatever he would say about me "... it's hard to say because I dated him once so I feel strange. Buffet, Loren still wasn't over me. What seemed crazy and stupid to me is that they were pretending I wasn't here and couldn't hear them. I just want to see how far they are capable of going with their little game. It's surely some Davis joke and Loren convinced Nisha to join in. "Just tell me, Loren, bluntly." "Max died," Loren blurts out. What the fuck is she saying? "What are you talking about? As a step?" "It was this morning." They found him in his room, Nish, he had a bullet in his head, "Loren sobs. Nish comes over and rubs her back" Davis confirmed.