Funny Adult Jokes Novels & Stories

"You have no idea–I was just joking around, but those disgusting guys went crazy asking me for your contact." The old me would have already been crying, asking her how she could do this to me, voice breaking. Not this me. My teeth clenched so hard they hurt. My whole body trembled with anger. I snatched the flyer out of her hand and slapped her across the face. Tara screamed, clutching her cheek in disbelief. "You hit me? I treat you like my best friend, and you can't even take a joke anymore?" Best friend? I let out a cold laugh.

She hissed, “we need to leave immediately!” “Alright, alright.” I patted her arm. “I’ll just get the eggplants.” I turned and beamed widely at the worried girl. “Have you seen a brinjal this big and shiny?! It’s like—.” “A cock soaked in cum,” someone said. What...? My face feel deadpanned as it swivelled up to voice. An elderly man in Einstein’s age and appearance was bellowing in laughter at his own dirty joke, his round belly shaking uncontrollably.

The room went dead quiet when I said I would take the prize, but that quiet did not last. A second later, laughter thundered through the air. Lily Smith was the loudest, doubling over with tears streaming from her eyes. "How else could she be the top seller?" she cackled. "A woman like her has to have skin as thick as a rhino." I ignored her snide comments and kept my cool. "Just to be clear," I said, "since the company so generously 'rewarded' me with bathroom duty, that's all I'll be doing for the next three days. Everything else is off my plate."

status to flirt with female colleagues from other departments. I tolerated it, telling myself he was just networking. But now, just to impress Miguel and get ahead, he couldn't wait to trample all over me. I let out a short, humorless laugh. "Todd Westman, what right do you have to lecture me?" His eyes darted around for a second before he raised his voice even louder. "I'm just saying this as a colleague who knows right from wrong! You should know what's good for you, Macy!" Looking at his hypocritical, revolting expression, I couldn't even be bothered to argue. I picked up the iced coffee on my desk and, without hesitation, splashed it straight in his face.

“Uhm, my car is this way. It’s pretty small, sorry. I don’t usually drive lumberjacks around, so I got a compact.” I laughed warmly. “So that’s all I am to you, huh? A lumberjack?” “I guess you would be more of a timber wolf?” she said, tapping her chin with the tip of her finger. “And you say I tell bad dad jokes?” I asked incredulously. “That one blows Fur Sure Solutions right out of the water.” Marley giggled. “What? I thought it was clever.” “The joke, much like you, was very clever,” I said indulgently. “But it was also very bad.”

He grins. “One moment they are ‘fuck you youngest child’ and in the next they want us to produce the next population of the country. It’s like ‘make up your mind will ya? Are we important or not?’”, He continues joking, eyes lighting up when he hears me chuckle a second time. “Yeah, literally”, I agree, having to lower my eyes. I feel far too ashamed. I not only chuckled at one of his jokes, but at two of them. And I did so because I actually found them funny.

“Hey, no brooding. This is an adventure, not a prison sentence. Let me distract you.” She turned to him, her expression wary. “What are you going to do? Tell me one of your terrible jokes?” “You wound me,” he said, clutching his chest dramatically. “But yes. Absolutely.” He cleared his throat, adopting a serious tone. “Why don’t skeletons fight each other?” Riele blinked, momentarily thrown off. “Why?” “Because they don’t have the guts.” The joke was terrible. Absolutely awful. But Riele burst into laughter anyway, the tension in her chest breaking apart with each giggle. Jay grinned, triumphant, as if her joy were his greatest victory.

“Why would I change when you’ll never stop trying to earn a joke from every situation?” “Isn’t life more fun with jokes? Something to laugh about once in a while. You know, it makes the world beautiful and fun when it’s dark. Studies even say laughter heals faster than herbs do. Lowers pain, strengthens the heart, clears the head. Makes the blood flow freer. In short — that’s why I’m looking younger and living longer. Which of those old people in the pack is as old as me, uh? None. I’m the oldest.”

It might help if I get lost…or accidentally set the apartment on fire,” I teased, getting a hint of a smile that he buried by denying. "Or you'll probably starve the poor animal to death," he returned the joke, narrowing his gaze, making the lines of expression visible at the corners of his eyes. Since the incident in my bathroom we acquired the ability to joke when it came to Alzheimer's. Black jokes made the situation less overwhelming. He was the first person he could joke with like this. My friends didn't like it when he said things like that and found it cruel; what they didn't understand was that at the end of the day the one who would live in limbo would be me, and taking it so seriou

The route took us down the corridor with two left turns south until we reached the garden. “Ah,” I sighed as my butt hit the bench. Oryndor chuckled, still standing and towering over me. There was a comfortable, respectful space between us. “You already sound like a grandma and you’re not even a global adult yet,” he teased. That made me laugh for real. “Pft! What the heck is a ‘global adult’?” “I heard some humans don’t count as adults until twenty-one. So globally, you’re still not there.” We both cracked up at his dumb joke.