Funny Dirty Jokes For Adults

Alexander Morrison doesn't love me, nor does he love our daughter. The only person he loves is his first love, Charlotte Clarke. To maintain his perfect image in Charlotte's eyes, he only allows our daughter to call him "Uncle Alex". This continues until Charlotte becomes pregnant and goes abroad to marry someone else. Alexander drinks himself into oblivion and finally decides to marry me. When he comes home, our daughter gives him 100 forgiveness coupons. I tell him that once those 100 coupons are used up, I'll take our daughter and leave him forever. He holds us both tightly in his arms, swearing he will never make us sad again. During the initial few years of our secret marriage, he indeed does exceptionally well, as not a single coupon is used. That is, until Charlotte returns to the country with her daughter. Every time he abandons me and our daughter for Charlotte and her child, I tear off one forgiveness coupon. Now, only three coupons remain.

“Camille, I’ll love you forever!” Jameson let out a low, agonized growl. Just as he was about to climax, his phone suddenly began to buzz. He ignored it, of course. Now was hardly the time. However, his phone lit up again. The moment he saw the text on the screen, his body froze. Camille heard him answer the call. “Hello?” In the deep silence of the night, the voice on the phone cut through the stillness, clear and unmistakable. “Jameson, did you know that Sylvia—” Jameson switched languages and cut in with a sharp command, “Keep it down. It's not a good time.” The other person switched languages too, though he was still loud. “The hospital results came in. Sylvia is in the final stages of cancer. She only has a month left! Her last wish is to become your wife. Can you grant her that before she passes?” Jameson’s expression changed immediately. “What?! Wait for me!” He ended the call and turned to Camille. “Camille, something urgent came up. I need to step out for a bit. Be good and stay home. I’ll be back after you’ve had some sleep.” Before she could respond, he rose to wash up, changed his clothes, and left without looking back. Moments later, her phone buzzed. Sylvia: [Camille, you lost. I told you—Jameson has always been mine.] Right above it was a message from three days ago: [If I tell him I have cancer, do you think Jameson will leave you and come to me? I bet he will.] Camille’s gaze slowly shifted from her phone screen to the open bedroom door. What Jameson did not know was that she had already picked up a new language. She understood every word of that call. After a long moment, a faint, bitter smile appeared on her face. “Yeah, I lost...”

Kate and Roxie are both attracted to the confident Dex, their smooth-talking future Alpha. With his playboy reputation, Kate doesn't trust his advances, or notice her best friends' jealousy. Desperate to be noticed by the Alpha, Roxie forms a blood oath with a demon. Kate's life soon descends into pain and chaos whilst her best friend mysteriously flourishes. As Kate's reputation crumbles, will Alpha Dex's original attraction survive even as she pushes him away? As more of her spirit is stripped away to feed the demon, will Roxie's desire to be Luna at any cost include her best friend's life? When it comes down to it, both will give anything for the Alpha.

I, Mona Goldheart, decide to tell my mate, Edmund Ryker, about my pregnancy on my birthday. But Edmund, who never misses my birthday, misses it this time. The reason he cited was that he had to attend a very important meeting. I don't believe it. When I rush over to his company, I see him holding a birthday party for Amy Drumm, the Omega he brought back to our pack not long ago. Watching as the two of them act so intimately, I contacted Edmund through our mind-link. I ask, "Is the meeting going well?" Edmund holds Amy in his arms, laughing happily. But when he replies to me, his tone is flat, as if he really is attending a meeting. He says, "It's going well. When I finish, I'll come back and celebrate your birthday." I sneer and reply, "Turn around and take a look."

Serena Judd is a mess when she's taken to the hospital after being harassed by a freak. As she waits in the corridor for her turn to see the doctor, she sees Justin Farrow with his arm around a young woman. He's coaxing her gently. With a raspy voice, Serena looks at Justin, the guy she has been on and off with for years. "Didn’t you get my text?" "It's Candice's birthday, so I can't upset her. Besides, who knows whether you actually ran into a freak?" He frowns, looking disdainful. "Were you violated?" Serena's blood runs cold at his words. She tenders her resignation the following day, but Justin isn't bothered. He says, "She's more obedient than a dog. She'll come back to beg for forgiveness without me even saying anything." This time, however, Serena leaves without hesitation. … Half a year passes. Justin sits in his car and dials a number he's already committed to memory. As soon as the call is connected, he says tensely, "I miss you." All he hears is a snort. "Why are you disturbing me in the middle of the night with a love confession, Mr. Farrow? You should be asleep." Justin snarls, "Where's Rina? Tell her to answer the phone!" Wilson Quade looks at Serena, who's lying beneath him, her eyes gleaming with desire. He smirks devilishly and says, "We're busy, Mr. Farrow."

Dangerous Desires Book One. I, Zia Walker, take you, Xavier Luciano, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will honor you all the days of my life. 'And above all, I vow not to fall for you.' ~~ Trapped with the responsibility to my family, fate forced me to marry Xavier Luciano. He was the perfect solution to my problems, but there was only one condition he asked before promising me his ‘I do.’ “Don’t fall for me,” was his unbreakable rule. I laughed at him that day, thinking how easy it is to follow his stupid rule. I’m in love with my ex-fiance, his younger brother Calvin, so what could possibly go wrong? I agreed without hesitation, seeing him as the ticket out of my life’s predicament. Like a raging wave, the realization of my vow’s weight crashed on me. How can I fulfill my promise, when even in the darkness and danger that surrounds him, I’m hauled like a moth to a flame? How can I fight the slow burn of falling for my husband? The man I swore to cherish and adore, until death do us part, and the one my heart chose to love. ~~ [Mature Content] ~~ Follow me on lnstagram Castiel_Lj Cover by DobolyuV

Being a billionaire, I've had a fair share of women in my life. But the first time I laid eyes on her, I couldn't help but have her in my arms. I knew what had to be done, I needed to make her MINE. But that wasn't an easy task, considering how resilient she can be. The more I got to know her, the more I realized what a different and strong woman she was. I wanted to give her everything but trust? that had to be earned and she had done nothing but hid from me since the beginning. She was ruining everything we had just to protect a single secret, she didn't trust me enough for it. "It's better this way" she said, but was it really?

Andrea Simone is in search of a new job, she lost her old job due to unforeseen circumstances. Her job search leads her to Lucian, a werewolf who is tired of having to fire every personal assistant in weeks though he admits this is his fault the assistants are also to blame. Confident that she can escape his charms and his reputation is no secret, she begins to work for him. Things go on fine for a while until neither can contain the passion they both feel. A one-night stand that Andrea wants to pretend never happened leads to the unexpected or rather expected, a baby. However, the pregnancy is the least of her worries as she discovered that her baby daddy is a werewolf and not just any werewolf, one of the royal family. How would she cope in this situation? It doesn't help that her life and that of the baby are in danger as a result.

The throne is threatened as Thalisse, a humble village on the outskirts of Apharoth is attacked. Since the king had no heirs, there was no one left to save the royal family from being overthrown. In desperation, the king declares Gairoshi, an ancient practice where the next king will be selected through a series of duels. Bold men from all around the world flock to the center city to participate and try out their luck in this tiring and grueling competition. As different characters gather for this prestigious event, from the nobles, mighty men, people from the shadows, and down to the Thalisse victims, they cross each other's paths and fate reveals that there is more blood to Gairoshi than they expected.

"What is the use of living when you don't remember me.", Emily said in a trembling voice standing on the roof top ready to jump down. "Don't be stupid and come down at once don't force me to punish you on my wedding day Emily" Abhay said in a dominating voice. ....... It's a story of a sweet girl Emily Roy who was in love with with Abhay Mehra. They were in love but Abhay lost his memory and started loving Emily's half sister Mia Roy. Emily was going to take her life as she was going to lose Abhay from her life. Will Abhay remember Emily and their love or will he let her die? Will he save her or.....?