Funny Dirty Jokes For Adults

“Spend a night with me and I assure you that all your financial problems will be solved.” He smirked wearing a smug look she desperately wanted to wipe from his face. “I am not interested in your damn offer. I'll leave now, it was a mistake coming here in the first place.” She sighed and turned to leave, but he pulled her to himself and whispered into her ears. “What about your sister? Are you just going to watch her die? Do you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had a chance to save her but didn't?” ***** Annabel is devastated after her father's death. Being the first child of the family, she is left to repay her father's numerous debts. The debtors were determined to rid her and her sister of everything they had if they failed to pay. She had an encounter with the famous playboy billionaire — Roland D'Villle. An encounter that led to the loss of her job and only source of survival, and which in turn opened doors to numerous bitter-sweet experiences for her, but fate was about to play a massive one on her. What does fate have in stock for her this time?

My grandfather, Terry Sims, suffered from bipolar disorder and was prone to anger and mood swings. My mother, Catherine, was his only chill pill. On the day they were hunted down by enemies, my mom went into early labor and lost her life in an attempt to save him. Devastated, my grandfather could not see a way out of his disorder and poured all his love into me. He would pull out the tongues of those who mocked me and fed them to the dogs. The families of those who hurt me would meet their end. It was known to the people of Mistvale that the granddaughter of Terry Sims was untouchable. Due to my congenital heart disease, he reluctantly sent me abroad for medical treatment. After my surgery, I rushed back to his side for his birthday, thinking of giving him a surprise. However, I was mistaken for a gold digger by a carer and locked in the basement. “Of all the things you can do for your age, you throw yourself at men. Since your parents won’t restrain your behavior, I’ll have to do it for them.” She pulled out my tongue, dumped acid all over me, and dug out my snewly transplanted heart to give as a birthday gift to my grandfather, who had been waiting for my return. “Mr. Sims, the skank tried to impersonate Ms. Sims, but I got everything sorted out for you.”

It's been four years since Bianca Moretti's Dad passed away. Her mom decided to get married to a man she felled in love with, the Rossi family. Bianca wasn't in support with it till she met her stepbrother. Emilio Rossi, the first child and only son of Alejandro Rossi. Emilio is a good example of introvert, he doesn't talk that much. He only cares about his three little sisters after their Mom abandoned them a long time ago. He's arrogant, hot-tempered and rude. After seeing he new stepsister, he knew that he had to be careful.

Three years since her wedding day Vanessa remains a virgin. When her sickly husband the Duke of Tarrick demands she produce an heir with a man of his choosing she is horrified. To refuse leaves her penniless and alone for when the cruel Duke dies his estate passes elsewhere. Vanessa’s choices are narrowing every day. To submit to his demand would see her honour surrendered to new stablehand Fitz. His sparkling green eyes might match her husbands, but his cocky, arrogant attitude riles her. He sees no value in her titles and riches, seeking only to enjoy lifes opportunities. Including sleeping with a famous Duchess. The added risk of snooping servants and family scandal suggests Vanessa should stick to her obsessive husband's strict rules for their arranged intimacy. Especially when Fitz proves to be much more than his first impression. But what if giving away her honour to such a casual rogue is the spark that makes her world finally explode into life?

"My hate for wolf!" A tale about Sophia, a young girl studying at the University, living a merry filled life untill she lost her father. Her father who has being a hunter since she was little got killed by wolf on a hunt night. Sophia, being a confident girl figured out the cause death of her father's death and sworn to find and bring the wolf for a painful torture. But something outrageous happened as wolfs were outnumbered by hunters who pursued them from their pack in a bid to have them killed. The wolf's disguised and lived Among humans. Will Sophia be able to achieve her quest for revenge?

Reese Hudson's marriage ended dramatically on Valentine's Day when her billionaire husband brought home his first love. Reese fought to keep her family together, but Jennifer Durham was determined to take everything from her, including her husband's love and her son's affection. Reese had to endure her husband's contempt as he showered all his attention on his lover, while her son began calling Jennifer "mommy". Feeling defeated, Reese couldn't take it anymore and, in tears, agreed to the divorce. However, life has its twists, and now Reese is the most desired woman in Chicago. After realizing Jennifer's greedy and corrupt character, Elliott Goodwin regrets his decision and wants Reese back. But this mission seems nearly impossible now, as Reese has transformed into a new woman, especially since she appears to be building a new family with the charming magnate, Spencer Davies.

My first time meeting Lawrence Seinfield was during my return to a noble family as its heiress. He helped me get out of a sticky situation once, and for that, I spent five years trying to steal his heart. I loved him. Eventually, he became my fiance, but he thought I was beneath him. He thought my lack of education and proper upbringing was bad. My grandfather, the one who raised me, was dying. Just when I needed his help the most, he decided to teach me a lesson and show me my place. Without any help, my grandfather died, and like Lawrence wished, I knew my place. And I lost my love for him.

"I'm Aiden Hart's secretary!" I shrieked over the phone. "Calm down, Charlie. It can't be that bad." I heard amusement in Emily's voice. My roommate's attitude did nothing to soothe my nerves. "It's not bad; it's a disaster!" I convinced. "I can't work for someone as hot as him! I can't breathe around him!" I might have been on the verge of a panic attack. I was supposed to work for his father, the well-respected sixty-eight-year-old Alexander Hart, not his youngest son! This wasn't what I agreed to! Less than a month ago, my dear friend died while working at Hart Global Corporation as the CEO's secretary. Now, I was about to replace her while investigating the truth behind her death. I thought I was prepared to enter the snake's nest, but I clearly underestimated the enemy… Aiden Hart was the purest embodiment of my sexual fantasies, and believe me, after four sexless years, I had more than too many of them twirling inside my brain. Every day, I found my boss more and more alluring, and I could only protect my weak heart by repeating my newly created mantra... "Don't fall for Mr. Hart... Don't fall for Mr. Hart... Don't fall for Mr. Hart."

Dylan Walker is one of New York city's richest businessmen. He has the reputation of being a ruthless businessman, and as hot as he is so is he arrogant, proud, and a full-time Casanova but not heartless though... His whole business carrier is at stake and the only thing that can save it is something he doesn't see himself doing. Getting married... Dylan turns to Lorraine, who isn't the regular woman he'll go for, she's beautiful and feisty with a voice men call 1-900 numbers to hear. Dylan offers her ten million dollars for a one-year contract. And there's nothing indecent about this proposal. The money will help with her family's bills. All Lorraine will need to do is keep her attraction to her new husband to herself and avoid his bed. But Dylan's toe-curling kisses and sexy charm prove too difficult for Lorraine to resist. It was a marriage contract that planned for everything...except falling in love.

My husband was in the late stages of liver cancer. Afraid of dragging me down, he committed suicide by jumping into the river. I couldn’t swim, but I dove in after him without hesitation. To give him the will to live on, I told him about winning the lottery. He pretended to struggle but took the chance to shove me underwater, drowning me. Before I could rest in peace, he ran off abroad with his first love using my money. Only then did I realize that he had planned to fake his death all along just to get rid of me! When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the day he jumped into the river. You wanted to die, huh? Well, let me help you with that!