Funny Godly Quotes Novels & Stories

He laughs but shuts up. “Ok, listen, while we are on the topic of quotes, I have some funny, sarcastic ones,” he says and opens his phone to read some. “Two wrongs, don’t make a right, take your parents as an example,” I laugh. I can use it on anyone who messes with my friends. “Tell me more,” I urge him. “Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs,” I chuckle.

"God's a wonderful man, All of you will agree with me this God of ours doesn't take something good without something better in return," he beamed one of those contagious smiles he ever owned, "he is the way, the truth and the light. He keeps not a record of our sins. Can somebody say a big Amen to that?" "Amen," Came the congregational chorus.

“Thank you” “Take my advice, Miss. God will take control” “Thank you” I muttered in response. Then he exited the ward. “Then I remember a line in one of Ibquake’s spoken word videos. She said “Why do you think God will not defend you to the end when the problem is you think the end is near?” “God don't fail. Teach this body to abide or let this body just die!”

“Say another word, Deacon, and I’ll rip out your heart.” “Calm down, brother,” Vad drawled, stepping closer. “This is a safe space...” The quotation marks around 'safe space' were implied, dripping with sardonic humor. “No need to get so worked up. And I would prefer your hands not to stain now.” Those words meant a lot.

“You have called me stupid on multiple occasions, told me I lack brain cells and what else.” “It was all a joke!” Christian defended his actions, but maybe if he never made those jokes in the first place, we wouldn’t have been here. “And I’ve never laughed, not once,” I told him. “Jokes are supposed to be funny.”

"Oh please, like you even know what it takes to be a boss. You probably couldn't even handle a basic Excel spreadsheet." "Coming from someone who probably thinks a PowerPoint presentation is their biggest accomplishment." Adrienne's eyes narrowed, her smirk turning into a devious smile. "You know what they say about assumptions, right? They make an ass out of 'u' and 'mptions.' Trust me, you're an expert at that." Linc raised an eyebrow, his expression unyielding. "Says the queen of cliché quotes. You should consider a career in motivational posters." Adrienne feigned surprise, her voice laced with sarcasm.

As I sidled down the dragging hall, I heard harsh yelling coming from behind one of the doors on the right, which was left ajar, and I edged closer to eavesdrop. "...and my last words to you Henry: 'punishment is made for mockers and the backs of fools are made to be beaten!'" All three brothers joined in midway through the verse. Well, that explained Josh's constant repetitions of bible verses. "Do you boys think this is funny?" the father shouted. "No, Father," they all replied. "Now you, Josh, have you made up your mind about NIFTZ yet?" "No. I’m still thinking—"

She wrapped her arms around my neck while mom hugged Ryan. “Tut tut! No naughty time until she’s got four legs,” Godfrey said, wagging his finger. *Fucking buzzkill,* Ryan said, over mind-link. *If he only knew,* I said back, kissing her again. *What he doesn’t know won’t kill him,* Ryan said, laughing. *Was that the wolf equivalent of a dad joke? Cause it was really fucking bad,* I said, shaking my head.

Those sensible flats, as reliable and well-worn as her wisdom. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto yourself,” she told her grandkids, their round, innocent faces staring up at her. “And those aren’t my words.” It was one of her recycled lines, one that left her feeling a little flat, a little well-worn herself. Though she sometimes spoke His words, she didn’t give a flying fuck about God anymore. Still, a large, garish crucifix hung around her neck.

Miss Grace exclaimed, panic rising in her voice. But Elijah stared into Madam Jewel’s eyes, sneering as though she had just started a game of chess that he wasn't willing to back out of or surrender, and said in a deadly serious tone, “Do unto others as you want them to do to you,’ do you know that quote?” Madam Jewel froze, looking at Elijah with wide, disbelieving eyes, her mind unable to comprehend that Elijah was challenging her and trying to provoke her, which left her completely stunned and unable to respond.