Funny Long Jokes Novels & Stories

Six years after marrying Rhiannon Westley, she takes a lover. He's like a puppy—timid and clingy. He flinches at the slightest raised voice, so Rhiannon never loses her temper in front of him. But when he acts up in front of me, Rhiannon snaps. She's furious, and she gives him a harsh scolding. The next day, he sends me a photo of his neck covered in red marks. "Zane, Ms. Westley is so fierce..."

Three days before my wedding, my younger sister staged a scene—one where I supposedly abandoned her in the mountains. She claimed I locked her in a cabin, left her to be nearly assaulted, and that she barely escaped with her life. Furious, my fiancé dragged me up the mountain and locked me in that same cabin. He said, "Wendy, a woman as vicious as you won't learn her lesson without punishment. I already told you I'd marry you. Why go after Chloe? Since you're so desperate to climb your way up, you can stay here until the wedding day." I begged him, over and over, but my scorched throat could only force out hoarse, grating sounds. Three days later, Mickey O'Brien stood at the altar in his suit, waiting for me. What he got instead was my remains.

Three days after I died, my fiancé got a call to ID the body. He just scoffed. "She's dead, so what? Call me when she's in the ground." The cops, out of options, hit up my backup contact—my childhood friend. He actually laughed. "She's really gone? Not my problem. Burn her or whatever." Then my body hit the internet— And suddenly, both of them looked like ghosts.

Two days before New Year's, my boyfriend, Jeffrey Graham, planned to spend the holiday at the beach with his assistant. I did not argue or complain. Instead, I thoughtfully packed his bags for him. However, he mocked me, saying that I had finally learned to be considerate now that I was pregnant. After he left, I wasted no time and went to get an abortion. Why? In my previous life, I tried to use our child to stop him, but his assistant ended up being brutally murdered at the beach. Jeffrey appeared calm on the surface after that incident, but just when I was about to give birth, he cruelly cut open my abdomen and killed my baby. That was when I realized—he had been holding a deep grudge against me all along. This time, I was determined to make him lose everything.

A young guy keeps getting into trouble in very funny and unfortunate ways. He wrecked havocs on people too, mistakenly. He hallucinated and had great fantasies about people to brighten up his hearers. Afterwards, he came back to his mundane reality.

Tyler has landed herself a Job that she is so grateful for. She is happy, thriving, and very much the Independent woman that she always wanted to be. She has her dream home and everything she has ever worked for and wants for nothing, but maybe a companion, but that is far fetched for the line of work she does. That is until she finds herself on a call in the middle of the forest. She gets face to face with a massive creature that could turn even the strongest men into a terrified mess, but she can’t help but feel a pull with the beast. To find out what this connection means she leaves everything she has ever known behind, but she finds out more than what she bargained for and her life completely shifts. Literally. She is thrown into a world that she didn’t know existed and is blasted with secrets, lies, and powers that you only read about in fairytales or your moms weird fantasy books. The mysterious and blood thirsty beast leads her into a life she could only dream of and she is not sure if these dreams are of nightmares or something you never want to wake from. Tyler may think she is on top of the world with her new Job, new house, and everything in between, but she is about to find out how on top of the world she really is. Tyler becomes the main obsession of the beast and he is insatiable when it comes to her. The human who was hard to love is now being crushed by emotions and not just from herself, but from the beast who found her in the woods.

My son has a high fever, so I call my husband. However, he thinks I'm using our child to get his attention. Then, he takes his true love's son to the hospital when he's only scratched his finger. I look at my son, whose face is pale. I ask, "Do you want another father?" He nods. "Yeah. Dad doesn't like me, so I don't want to like him anymore." Later, I find him another father. That's when my husband objects.

Days before Christmas, my girlfriend, Tessa Coleman, decides to take her assistant to the beach for the holiday. I don't argue or make a scene. I even help her pack her bags. But she sneers at me, mocking me for finally learning how to be sensible now that my legs are useless. As soon as she leaves, I reach out to her sworn enemy. In my last life, when I tried to stop her with my crippled legs, her assistant ended up brutally murdered at the beach. Tessa had acted like nothing had happened, but once I recovered, she hacked off my legs and killed me mercilessly. That was when I finally realized that she had hated me all along. This time around, I'll make sure she loses everything.

A love life so bland she compared it to cream of wheat. When she thought it couldn't get worse, she died? She woke up in what she thought was heaven, but Saint Peter was nowhere to be found. Can this new world turn her bowl of cream of wheat into an Ice Cream Sundae? Or she was destined to become a lonely old cat lady.

Book two. Please read “Our Young Funny Voices” before “Our Blank Canvas”. Exactly one year ago, Vasilisa Krovopuskova left her life in Siberia, Russia behind to pursue a serious relationship with her American girlfriend, Francine Chirilova. Aside from the unwavering love Vasha feels for her lover, the emptiness of not belonging begins to wear on their relationship. With only Francine and their tight knit group of friends to rely on for comfort, a shocking message on Vasilisa’s VK social media account may bring her back to Russia on a temporary basis. Francine struggles to help Vasilisa overcome her insecurities, but they aren’t the only ones having a hard time. With Navy-woman Brody deploying on a two year long assignment, she’s not sure if holding onto what she has with Liza will bring them closer, or destroy everything. Only time will tell. The “more put together” couple of them all, Charlotte and Olivia, face a difficult situation after a drunken mistake brings back a toxic EX girlfriend from Charlotte’s past, and she’s not leaving without a fight. As Francine fights to keep everyone together, she continues battling Anorexia in secret. We’re all free to make our own choices, but we aren’t free from the consequences of those choices. 18 + Strong mature content All Rights Reserved (you know how it goes) Please don't attempt to steal any part of my work.