Funny Long Jokes Novels & Stories

Louis laughed heartily and so did the man. "Ask them, they'll tell you how long it took for me to believe what they were saying. I swear I nearly lost my shit! I was looking at these people and in my mind I'm like, oh, boy, they've all finally gone bunkers. I knew it was only a matter of time before the aliens invaded earth and sucked all our brains out so mayhaps they had discovered HillsBay first and began their claim of earthains taking brains for snack." Everyone in the room burst out into a ruckus of laughter with his theory. JC hadn't changed one bit, still the same smart ass and lousy joker.

Clutch asked. My head was pounding so hard from last night’s partying, I’d momentarily forgotten about the mouse under my eye, and who’d given it to me. “That’s strange,” I said, before pausing. “What’s that?” “I don’t remember one of the books I sent you while you were locked up being a joke book,” I replied. “Here’s a joke for you. Knock, knock…” “Who’s there?” “Go fuck yourself,” he said, before putting his helmet on.

He replied, returning a smile. “Can I tell you a joke?” “Sure.” “What do you call a cow with one leg missing?” “I don't know, what do you call it?” He asked with a confused look. “Lean beef.” I burst out laughing, not able to contain my laughter. Aspen giggled. “That is the lamest joke I have ever heard in my entire life.” “But you laughed. Didn't you?” I asked with my fingers pointed towards him. “I did. I will give you that.”

“We don’t even know if she is pregnant.” “With all her throwing up lately, what else can it be? The world’s longest stomach bug?” He asks, trying to say it jokingly with a smile. He tells jokes, but he doesn’t find them funny. It’s his way of breaking the tension in a situation like he has been taught.

Vincent pov I laugh so hard my eyes water. I haven't heard anything so ridiculous and stupid in a long time. The last time someone made me laugh like that was in high school. But the look on my Beta's face can only mean how serious his question was. I wipe away my tears and straighten my posture. Like a kid trying to look serious, I clear my throat a few times before speaking up. "That was a great joke, my friend, but warn me next time before you try to say something so absurd. One of these days, I might choke on a piece of food and die. Do you want it?" I raise an eyebrow at him.

Some jokes were clever. Some were outrageous. Some were so ridiculous that they shouldn't have been funny. Yet somehow they were. More than once, I laughed so hard tears formed in my eyes. The kind of laugh that leaves your stomach hurting. The kind of laugh that makes it difficult to breathe. The kind of laugh I hadn't experienced in years. At one point, I noticed Jack looking at me instead of the stage. "What?" He smiled. "Nothing." "You're not even watching." "I am." "No you're not."

"Did Vanessa say that the chairman's daughter is a kept mistress? That's the biggest joke I've ever heard!" Right then, Terrence couldn't hold it in any longer and finally let out a cold laugh. "You idiots. This branch office has been losing money year after year. Headquarters has been wanting to investigate for a long time! "If Ms. Monroe hadn't hidden her identity and come down here to dig into your shady accounts herself, how much longer did you think you could keep fooling everyone? "You sure have some nerve making Ms. Monroe serve you coffee, fetch you water, and take the blame for you. How many heads do you think you have to lose?"

The room went dead quiet when I said I would take the prize, but that quiet did not last. A second later, laughter thundered through the air. Lily Smith was the loudest, doubling over with tears streaming from her eyes. "How else could she be the top seller?" she cackled. "A woman like her has to have skin as thick as a rhino." I ignored her snide comments and kept my cool. "Just to be clear," I said, "since the company so generously 'rewarded' me with bathroom duty, that's all I'll be doing for the next three days. Everything else is off my plate."

We headed out with the help of Paul as we got onto the van and headed out somewhere to have breakfast. "Guys I know you missed me. So I have a knock-knock joke." I hollered, excited. "Oh no. Milo don't, please we didn’t really miss you that much.” Lucius stops me. I frown, “Don’t be rude. It's funny I swear." I insisted. "You've got like 20 knock-knock jokes and only five are funny." Rowan complained. "It's funny. C'mon. Just one." I insisted again but they whined as if my knock-knock jokes were that horrible. So I ignored them and carried on with my joke, "Knock knock."

I exclaimed and chuckled. He was laughing too as he told his story. "I know! After I said that, he and our old men stared at me for a long time. Then Papa cursed me in Español and stormed out. But I know my joke was funny because I saw some of our old men holding in their laughs. Mama heard about it and lectured me about it. Anyway, it was one of my funniest jokes to date." Imagine being a kid and joking in front of your father after he just killed a person. And then imagine being so mad you had to kill in front of your child and he just jokes about your face. I guess craziness runs in their blood.