Funny Long Jokes Novels & Stories

Bradley Fry, my CEO husband, loves bringing his friends home for meals the most. He claims that this makes them feel like an actual family. As they drink in the feast I've whipped up for everyone, one of Bradley's friends comments smilingly, "I knew that you were a virtuous one, Emily! Now this is how the legitimate wife should act!" My expression doesn't falter as I ask in a half-joking manner, "Oh? Does Bradley have a spoiled and pampered mistress by his side, then?" His friends are stunned by my question. A trace of panic crosses their eyes simultaneously. But Bradley just wraps an arm around my shoulders with a smile. "Don't listen to their nonsense, Emily. Who else is worthy as my

It felt good—light, like a breath of fresh air in this park where the wind rustled the leaves around us. We sat on the bench after that, side by side, our shoulders almost touching. He started telling these silly jokes—the kind that weren’t even funny, just dry and ridiculous, like “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.” Corny as hell. But I laughed anyway, hard and genuine, because the real joke was how bad they were, how he delivered them with that straight face like he thought they were gold. It warmed me up inside, chasing away the chill for a bit.

"I'm actually hearing a Nascent Soul Realm kiddo saying that he was going to catch the Millennium Walking Corpse! Hahaha! This joke I can laugh for a year!" Zhi Luan laughed at him while hitting the ground and pointing at him. It was in tears of laughter. Xiao Chen frowned and glared at it, saying, "Ain't you annoying? I was just joking, stupid cat; you eat too much and get sick! Go away!" Then he kicked it and Zhiluan rolled on the ground a few times.

Life’s so unfair, man. “What does a spoon matter when we’re literally stuck in the middle of the woods with invisible monsters, shady, bad men and whatever else creeps around here? Can you please, for once, use your brain and kick some sense in the gear?” He whisper-hisses, so red in the face, he reminds me of a tomato. “You could join a casting for vegetable commercials looking like this,” I remark and laugh at the brilliant joke my brain just reacted. Shit, am I not the funniest guy out there? Look at me - sense of humor, looks, body and an impressive spoon collection, I have it all, damn it. No wonder my little vixen couldn’t deny me.

“Don’t you mean fangtastic?” “I most assuredly do not.” His face was now stern. I rolled my eyes. “OK, got it. Dick jokes are OK but vampire jokes are not. Touchy much?” His mouth was drawn in a thin line “Funny jokes are acceptable. Others should be met with the derision they deserve.” There was a pregnant pause and all silly jokes and puns rushed out of my head, so I settled for rolling my eyes at him as I jumped off the bar stool instead. “Do you have anyone you need to let know you’ll be away?” he asked

The malicious speculation online kept getting worse and worse. "He's probably just trying to make money off of all this." "Only someone desperate for money would be insane enough to do this." "I suggest everyone stop sympathizing with them. This is just a stunt to grab public attention." Some people even started fabricating "tragic stories" about our family. One said that we owed millions of dollars in debt, another claimed Mom had a terminal illness, and some even said Dad was being chased by debt collectors and was going to jump off a building.

Jasmine said. "Hold on, hold on! I've got a joke that might lighten the caloric guilt. Why don't scientists trust atoms?" Jonathan said with a pause before adding, "Because they make up everything!" "Just when I thought I had heard your corniest joke," Florence said and rolled her eyes. The others burst into laughter, their mirth contagious, which made Clare smile. "Okay, I got another one," the young earl said. "Why did the scarecrow win an award?... Well, because he was outstanding in his field!"

I arched a brow. “Then I guess I have to name all 193 countries.” He smiled tight-lipped. “Don’t worry, I’m patient.” I fork my food as I kept staring at him while he does the same, “You’re really not going to leave me alone, are you?” “Nope.” He pops the P. “Alright, this knock knock joke is going to make you pee.” I placed my fork don to be attentive, “Okay, let’s hear it.” “How to make a tissue dance?” He smirks at me.

"What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine." "Please stop," Ashlyn laughed, covering her face with her hands. "Your jokes are getting worse." "My jokes are berry good, thank you very much." He grinned, clearly proud of himself. "Get it? Berry?" "I'm filing for divorce." "No, you're not. You love my dad jokes." "I tolerate them at best." Richard leaned forward, still holding the strawberry. "What do you call a fake noodle?" "Don't—" "An impasta!" Despite herself, Ashlyn burst out laughing. "That's it. I'm leaving."

“Fine. What do you call a sad strawberry?” I narrowed my eyes. “A... depressed berry?” “No.” He grinned. “A blueberry.” It was so dumb. So painfully, ridiculously stupid. And yet I laughed. I could feel it bubble out of me, like I hadn’t laughed like that in weeks. “Jesus Christ,” I said, wiping under my eyes, still chuckling. “That was horrible.” “You asked for a dumb joke.” “And you delivered. Goddamn, Andrew. You’re like a walking dad joke machine.”