Funny Quotables Novels & Stories

Before I can come up with some carefully crafted quote I heard somewhere, Ben speaks. “Well, I don’t have any advice for anyone, but there was something no one told me before I got married and I’m taking it upon myself to do you the favor.” Everyone turns to Ben as if they are so interested in what he has to say, but somewhere deep down, I know he is going to make some silly comment. “What is it?” Jackie asks painfully, like the wait is killing her. “That your wife’s cunt is going to become your favorite thing in the world,” Ben says, and my cheeks flush bright pink while the audience bursts into laughter.

" 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒃𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑳𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒑𝒐𝒑𝒔 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕 , 𝑰𝒄𝒆 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎 𝒊𝒔 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝑭𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 " - UNKNOWN QOUTES - ZI ARA " 𝒘𝒐𝒐𝒐𝒐𝒉𝒉𝒉, 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒆 " 𝒇𝒂𝒏𝒔 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒎.

Roger replied as he tried to imitate Mae West as well. “Of all the fabulous Mae West quotes to pick from, you go with that?” Chris chuckled as she planted herself on the sofa next to him. “It’s the best I could come up with on such short notice,” he shrugged. I placed my elbows on my desk and held my face in the palms of my hands. “Tough day, honey?” Roger asked. “Every day’s a tough day,” I replied. “Our little Gertie found herself a new man,” Chris teased.

“ Cuckoo” “ Daffy” “ Lunkhead” “ Whacky” “ Zany” “ Loony” “ Kooky” “ Screwball” “ Half-baked” Hudson snapped. “ Inept” “ Daft” “ Dippy” “ Dotty” “ Birdbrain” Alvara snapped back. “ Chucklehead” “ Chowder head” “ Boobish” “ Airhead” “ Brain dead” “ Dense”

Oh, he’s going to be quiet now? Me: I didn't even know you knew what those were. Ian Quinn: Emojis? Me: Yes. Ian Quinn: LOL. Just to needle him some more, I’m smiling as I type back. Me: Ah, you know acronyms too, this is interesting. Ian Quinn: What is? Me: People like you never know what LOL means. Ian Quinn: People like me? Me: Yeah, old people. The text shows the bubbles appear and disappearing, did I manage to make the great Ian Quinn speechless? I laughed under my breath, feeling quite pleased with myself. Take that Quinn. Finally, his reply pops in and I wasn’t holding my breath.

The quote for this picture said: Don’t take life too seriously. You’re not getting out of it alive. From the passenger seat, Isobel burst out laughing. “Oh my God, that’s hilarious.” Holding her side, she rolled to face me. “Who is it a quote from?” Her eyes glittered with joy and I had to admit, it felt nice, knowing she realized I’d made sure to find out the answer to that question already. “Elbert Hubbard,” I said. “Or at least, it’s similar to one of his quotes.”

Jajajaja I_pooped ... 'Sksksksks' and 'jajajaja' is laughing? Will_the_devil Fr fr I_pooped Willy, stop! Quinn_beach I have tea I_pooped ... Not you too. Quinn_beach No, but fr, I have boiling hot spicy tea. Will_the_devil Spill it, sis I_pooped Oh my God, stop with those references or a girl is going to die here. Quinn_beach So, you guys remember Charlie, the man beach?

Besides, who exactly gave Todd the illusion that he was someone important? I scoffed. "Todd Westman, from the moment you had the audacity to spout all that, you lost the right to speak to me." People could only communicate meaningfully when they were on the same intellectual level. Seeing how resolute I was, Todd struggled frantically and screamed, "No… Babe, listen to me. I can explain. I was just confused for a second. I love you!" "Shut up. Just listening to you makes my ears feel dirty."

That got my attention and I looked up at him. I saw my reflection in his chocolate-brown eyes. I blinked at him and he blinked. "What was I about to say?" He mumbled his eyes looking around and I let out a huff of laughter. I immediately pursed my lips to hide my laughter and he frowned. "Laugh." With one word, I threw my head back and laughed hard. Does a motivational speaker forget his quotes? The heck? I had been laughing for some minutes before he paused. "It's okay. You can stop laughing now." He said and I shook my head still laughing like a crazy maniac.

I mean look at me. " You totally got us there for a sec " Shawn said and chuckled " I'm serious guys " I said getting pissed " Dude stop the joke, doesn't sound funny coming from you. You are a ladies bro, you are a legend dude " kelvin said. " I look up to you ! " Curt said and drank from his can of beer. " Why aren't you laughing ? " Curt asked Cole. " Because I actually don't see what's funny " he answered honestly. I don't see what's funny about what I said too, I mean I love someone.