Funny Quotes Holidays Novels & Stories

Roth has heard a lot of jokes like this from him over the years, enough to be entertained instead of being insulted. Do you want me to remind you of how finding a mate works, V? Or should I just give you a mental recording with the right amount of sarcasm? "Well, bah humbug to you too, Roth. I just can't believe this is the 32nd Christmas that we won't be having anyone celebrating the holidays. I was hoping you've already made up your mind by now." When I find her scent, you will be the first to know. Meanwhile, it's bah humbug to you too, Vince. So, are you going to continue working as you usually do, or go home and rest, which I know you dislike at this time of year?

“That is so not how I want to think about Mariah.” I barked out a laugh before I could stop it. “Yeah, don’t ruin that for yourself, man.” Jackson shot me a look. “Also isn’t John Travolta like… an old man now?” Chris frowned. “Okay first of all, don’t disrespect a legend.” I leaned forward, resting my forearms on the table. “I like him in those Christmas credit card commercials.” Shane blinked. “Bro. What?” “Don’t act like you don’t know,” I said. “Every holiday season it’s like—boom—John Travolta and some ‘ho ho ho what’s in your wallet? ’ commercial.”

“Oh. Yeah, the usual. Chase down witches and tie her to the Christmas tree, then burn it all on the fire and eat marshmallows shaped like tiny snowmen. Nothing much. Oh, and yes, I’m talking about Bree.” Gray chuckled and Q blew air so hard through his pursed lips that he almost whistled. They knew me. They knew I didn’t celebrate Christmas. It was a crap time of year anyway. “You don’t always have to make fun out of it, you know. Christmas is family time, and...” “I know that shit,” I interrupted. I knew Quentin’s usual lecture about how wonderful Christmas could be if only I had someone to celebrate with. And I also knew Gray’s upcoming question:

“Haha. She was a very sweet girl. But it’s Valentine’s Day. Why would I want to spend that with anyone else but you?” I give him a wry smile. “Technically, it’s the fifteenth now.” “Even so.” He grins at Ian as he brings two whiskies over. “Cheers.” I sigh and take one of the glasses. “You’re trying to destroy my liver,” I grumble. “I like you drunk,” Huxley says. “It files off your sharp edges.” “What sharp edges? I don’t have any.” He laughs. “Yeah, of course you don’t.” He holds up his glass, and I tap mine to it. “I always drink to world peace,” he says. It’s a quote From Groundhog Day.

I just thought it was a fun, quirky, almost Christmas movie-like, coincidence. “Sorry.” We wrap in silence for a while, but it begins to grate on my nerves, so I begin to hum 'Mele Kalikimaka' by Bing Crosby. Then after a moment, I sing it under my breath. “Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say.. on a bright Hawaiian Christmas day..” “Still allergic to the silence, I see.” Wyatt remarks.

She had already given him the religious meaning of it, but there seemed to be more to it than just that. "Christmas is a special time of the year," she began with a smile. "It doesn't actually matter if you celebrate Christmas, Kwanza, or Hanukah…this time of the year is a time for celebrating and enjoying your friends and family. It's a time to just relax and be content." "But why is everyone buying things?" he asked her.

"I wish I'd known." Gia gave a quick bark of laughter. "Oh, because your Christmas was so much better, Quinn? Come on. Let's just face facts. This was the suckiest of sucky holidays for both of us." "Yeah." Quinn's grin was crooked. "I don't really want a repeat performance. Maybe we should make a pact to spend next Christmas together, just in case. If we have plans already set up, you have a good excuse to bow out on your crazy family."

replied Grandpa, "Grandpa Zoku rubbed Sarra's shoulder gently. The ice slowly melted, they started talking again, talking about anything interesting to discuss. "Grandpa wants to tell you something," Grandpa said later. "What is it, Grandpa?" Sarra was very excited to hear it. "Grandpa wants us all to have a holiday." "Holiday?" she repeated. "Yes, all." Grandfather confirmed again. "You mean grandpa?" "Gosh! Just don't get it. Grandpa thinks you're half as smart as a result of that accident."

He attempted to make conversation. “Hey, buddy. I got the spiked egg nog. I'm sure it will cheer you up-” “Women are vile creatures of unreason.” Sam grated. His voice was rough and weary. There were dark circles under his eyes. “The holidays are upon us, and I'm going to spend them alone.” Gabe munched his chicken and attempted blitheness: “You're always alone on Christmas, Sam.”

Christmas had never been anything special for me. I had spent my last two Christmas' before this working an all-day shift at work, wiping vomit off tables and getting yelled at by unhappy customers taking their anger and frustrations on me. Afterward, C and I would spend the morning drinking on a rooftop and dancing to Fuck Christmas by Eric Idle. It was not exactly like I was the grinch or that I forbade the holiday spirit, there really was just nothing to celebrate or be happy for. After spending most of my childhood holidays hoping I would escape some beating or screaming from the matron on duty at the foster care that day who would rather be drinking her guts out on her day off, it was n