Funny Quotes Holidays Novels & Stories

My husband Justin Lansing and I run a breakfast cart in Cratertown. We're up at two in the morning every day. We made thirty thousand dollars last year. When we drove home for the holidays, Justin had a little too much to drink and slapped the car keys onto the table. That same night his uncle pulled him into a card game. By morning he had lost everything. Thirty thousand dollars and the car. He came home and went to his knees on the floor. I rolled up my sleeves and pulled our daughter's New Year money out of my pocket. "Today you're coming with me. You're going to watch how I play."

"Sir, does the massage require me to take off my pants?" When I'm celebrating the holidays in the village, I suffer from a stomachache after accidentally ingesting spoiled food. There isn't a proper clinic or hospital in the rural village, so I can only ask the local doctor to give me a massage. Unexpectedly, he suddenly tugs my pants off before the massage. He even tells me, "This is so that I can purge the evil energy out of your body." Meanwhile, I'm already soaked down there, so my evidence of arousal is quickly spotted by the doctor as soon as he removes my pants. His lust overtakes his senses at that moment, causing him to pin me down…

A mysterious quest. A lost prince. An unknown past. A huge stake in the world. A great mystery. A prince sets himself on a quest that will shake the continent and even the world. An epic fantasy story filled with adventure, power, destiny, fun and loving characters, mystery. Fall in love with a brand new set of funny, cool and quirky characters that are sure to make every moment worthwhile. Witness what it truly means to Rise... A Legend!

Ava and Andre are forced by their parents to get married to each other. But before then, they have been involved in a fight twice and agreed to get married just to exact revenge on each other. But guess what? Ava and Andre were young lovers at teens but seperated. But how? Well, we'll find out. Fix your seatbelt as we take a ride through this funny, mindblowing and romantic story!

A book lover, an innocent teenager, and an incoming college student named Bliss Dy welcomes the new chapter of her life as her father got promoted in his job. Upon meeting his dad's boss, the CEO of the company, fate seems to enjoy bumping them into each other unexpectedly. Can a funny coincidence turn into something romantic and magical? Is falling for her dad's boss will make her life blissful?

Vampires and humans cohabit in peace in the City of Pinephil. Vampires are divided into two factions: shadow vampires are the ones who put mercy on the bottom of their list and scavengers are those who do not take pleasure in killing and clanking a glass of human blood but to celebrate holidays like an ordinary human being. And oftentimes, Scavenger Hut is a place to be if you want a safe celebration between you and your family. But behind these great cuisines stands a two-star Michelin chef who has spent his life savoring every drop of chances to earn his third star and vanquish La Rosa. But how can he do it when his adversary is a coward who crawls to the Elders' feet and hides behind his puppets? But as he continues to walk through a crooked path of vengeance and burning ideas... a passerby will hook his craving.

"Bianca, be a good girl and spread those legs of yours. Tonight, you belong to us." During the holidays, my husband, Ernest Bowman, has lost a card game against his three childhood friends, so he decides to pay off the debt by offering me to the men. The village men have never seen a city woman as dainty and delicate as me. That's why they get turned on right away. I struggle against them violently, but I can't stop them from spreading my legs forcibly. Thanks to the strong sensations overwhelming me, I can't help but get aroused by their actions, causing my panties to get soaked. "Settle down! Slutty women like you are meant to pleasure us!" After that, someone tears my soaked panties into shreds.

A comedy of errors, that offers second chances for first love in this BDSM Mafia, Reverse Harem Romance. In that moment of embarrassment, fear and dread, I do the unthinkable…….. I jump into the black clad stranger's arms, and kiss him with all the drama of a soap opera. Yes, I meant it to be for show to avoid my stalker, but .....Let’s just say it’s not all fake when I practically swoon like the well-to-do British lady I’m impersonating. “Renfield tricked me,” I pant, pointing my shaking finger at the obnoxious blonde man, literally crying, this is all so hysterical to him. “Dracula's spell is too powerful. I can't fight it, go! Go find Van Helsing!" How did this happen? Nicky! That’s right, this is all my orphan brother, Roman Nikolai Cross’ fault! Ever since that tweedle twap jerk named me after the bad luck stray cat outside our orphanage, there is no end to the comedy of errors that is my life. I was hoping to avoid the so tragic it’s funny or so funny it’s tragic stigma with my second chance on life, but no such luck with his latest shenanigans.

Alex Redwood your typical Alpha. Strong, impossibly attractive, and funny, yet stern when needed. And Grayson, she's... Well, the exact same. Except for the fact that she wants nothing to do with him, yet he'll do anything for her. Love can be such a strange thing... Will she let go of her hatred for him and allow herself to accept him and love him? Read to find out!

After working different jobs to pay off her debts and take care of her younger sister,she finally got a job as a personal maid for the most powerful business man,Ryan Damon, in the biggest mansion in the city. With their different personalities, she being a soft-hearted kind woman but stubborn in every way and the young master being a brutal and cold-hearted person,they found their alluring desires for each other a bit too cynical. But after working for him for almost a year she found out about a dark secret he kept from her, about her and her past. Can she let go of that burning desire for him? Or will she take revenge and make him pay?