Funny Quotes Liars Novels & Stories

I smiled triumphantly and said, "I'm not the fig plucker. Nor the fig plucker's son. But I'll pluck figs, till the fig plucker comes." He sighed and murmured bitterly, "I'm not the fig plucker. Nor the fig plucker's son. But I'll---" "It has to be faster!" "Fine. I'm not the fig plucker. Nor the fig plucker's son. But I'll fuck pigs, till the---" "You nasty!" I interjected and everyone burst out laughing. Although it was not that funny, Clark's priceless expression was worth making a meme.

I say using my fingers as quotations. “How did he figure it out?” Lia asks, interrupting me. “He caught me snooping around in his uncle’s office.” She raises a curious brow. “I thought you were some secret ninja?” I snort, rolling my eyes. “Yeah, and he thought I was passed out after one of our alcohol fulled sex marathons, but the joke was on me cause I thought the same for him. Anyway, I was about to fight him so I could, you know, escape, when he said he knew who I was and offered me a deal. One I couldn’t refuse.” I say, a half-laugh escaping from me because even after all these years, the satisfaction of that phone call still fills me with glee.

With that, I switched off my phone and fell asleep, oblivious to the chaos unfolding in the comments. [What's going on, Jilian? Going through a phase?] [Wait… Are you getting divorced?] That comment received a reply that said, [Shut up. Give her some space.] In a group chat with Harvey's friends, someone wrote what no one dared say aloud. [I told you Harvey went out of line by turning a whole celebration into a funeral. Whatever happened, he should've waited until after the event. Jilian looked completely broken that day.] Someone stepped in and spoke up on Harvey's behalf. [Come on, a life was lost. We'd all pause for a stranger, let alone a first love. Everyone has a crush they never actua

“I’m heading home too. I have things to do.” Mark joins me at the entrance of our booth. “Things to do or someone to do,” a guy says and we all start laughing. “Very funny. I'm very happy to be your entertainment for the night.” He rolls his eyes and gives us the middle finger. “See you guys later,” I tell them. “Bye, ladies,” they keep mocking us as we leave. I just smile and shake my head. “You know you're a bad liar, right,” Mark asks me.

he said. She looked up. “Yes?” “Is he registered?” Elijah asked. “No,” she said. She did not look surprised. “Some people attend after seeing flyers or hearing about us from someone else. They come in waves sometimes. They disappear in waves too.” “He said he lied to get in.” She nodded once. “He did. Some people lie because they are not ready to speak the truth yet.” “He unsettled the group.” She tilted her head. “Especially you.” Elijah did not deny it. “He was loud.”

This jerk. His smile widened at the sight of her. “You never failed to amuse me, woman. A beautiful liar, that's what you are,” “Why do you keep telling me that I’m lying?” "You just told me you wanted to take everything slowly, didn't you? Yet, here you are stripping right before me. Can't you get any more inconsistent?”

he warns. I can’t help but laugh at the irony of Jacob’s no-swearing rule. “As long as you know not to say it. But tell me anyway,” I say. We’re like two thieves conspiring to rob a bank. Liam giggles. “No, I can’t.” Before I can coax him, his defences fall. “Okay, it’s fuck,” he says with a naughty grin. “Oh yes, you’re right—that is a very bad word,” I say.

“Alright, here are mine: One, I’ve been skydiving. Two, I can cook gourmet meals. Three, I hate heights.” “I bet the lie is skydiving,” Kieran said. “No, I think it’s the gourmet meals,” Thalia argued. Lily smirked. “The lie is that I hate heights. I actually love them.” “You weirdo!” Marcus laughed. The pack laughed and applauded. “Kieran, your turn,” Lily said, passing the game to him. Kieran stood up, scratching his head. “Okay, let’s see: One, I’ve never been in a serious relationship. Two, I’m a great painter. Three, I’m afraid of the dark.”

lick, “... and very, very naughty.” ___________________

“Hey there, I’m Marcel. Do you always look this uncomfortable at parties, or is it just tonight?” I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m Sarah. And yeah, I guess clubs aren’t really my thing.” “Well, Sarah, you look like you could use a good time. How about a joke to lighten the mood?” I raised an eyebrow. “Alright, hit me.” Marcel leaned in a bit. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms?” I shrugged, smiling. “Why?” “Because they make up everything.” I laughed, genuinely amused. “That’s actually pretty good.”