Funny Sarcasm Novels & Stories

Well, I fucking opened myself up to that one. “As a solution to a problem I in part caused,” I say emotionlessly. “I’m going to assume by the vague answer, you don’t wish to discuss it.” “You’re very astute for a human,” I commend her. Her face slips into an emotionless mask, “Yes, we mere mortals are quite astute. We’ve also mastered fire and invented the wheel,” she says sarcastically. “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit you know.” “At least one of us has some,” she says, taking another sip of her drink.

I wanted to be alone for a while! I felt a tingling in my heart, and I felt pity, and I stared at it tightly and calmly, and I said, But... the doctor's diagnosis may be wrong! Or maybe... Or maybe a joke? I stared at him in incomprehension, and he made a faint sarcastic voice, but he quickly burst out laughing and moving his face! He muttered between his laughter, "This is so much fun." Oh my God! I understood it and said impatiently and indignantly, You are silly! Do you think yourself funny? It's not as cute as you think.

The cashier is currently wrapping the purchases. "Well, this is what they call little happiness. Gosh! You, you're abnormal. Everyone our age is crazy about W*****d, but you? Jusko, where are your sweet bones, your thrilling flesh? Are you gone?" This is a sarcastic question to me. It's good to fight.

evident sarcasm rolling off my tongue. "Your sarcasm is not appreciated McCarthy " His smirk turned into a pout making him look really cute with his lips pointing out like that. And the little heart shaped birthmark below the left side of his lower lip. "you know if you want to kiss me, you can just ask. "

“There have been plenty of times I could’ve run away, gotten help, but I didn’t.” He reached out and brushed a lock of hair behind my ear. “Because I’d kill you.” “At this point, I’m trying to live as long as I can. Therefore, I don’t want to piss your psychotic ass off.” “You push my buttons constantly.” I let out a little laugh. “Yeah, but that’s fun. You make it too easy.” “Why are you such a sarcastic pain in my ass?” I shrugged. “Sarcasm is my defense mechanism, so…shut up.”

“You just attacked his men. That’s not exactly what allies do to each other.” He purses his lips thoughtfully. “Isn’t it? I had no idea!” I roll my eyes. “You know, they say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit…” He grins wider. “Oh, but that quote is incomplete. Oscar Wilde actually said ‘Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but the highest form of intelligence.’” I scowl. “It doesn’t change the fact that it’s not nice. It’s self-serving.” “How so?” I take a deep breath, eager to talk and distract him so he won’t decide something uncool. Like hurt me, for one. I need to stay alive until Kaan finds me. “It aims to belittle the other person and make the one who uses it feel superior.”

We caught eyes and he nodded to me and I returned the nod. "Hungry?" Eli asked Hampson who shook his head. "You need to eat, man." "I will," Hampson muttered and waved his hand dismissively. "Make sure you do," Eli warned. "Wow, who knew you had emotions," I said sarcastically. Eli rolled his eyes. "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," he said. "Does it look like I give a shit?" I said and shrugged my shoulders. "Obviously not," Emma murmured, looking me up and down, her nose wrinkling in disgust.

"Ms. Sampson's villa isn't home for the homeless. They're your parents, aren't they, Felix? Figures. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Ugh, I can still smell the mud on them." Rage flared within my heart, but I held it back and quickly wiped the water off my in-laws. Diane had a short fuse. She would not stand for this insult, so she snapped, "And who are you supposed to be, you uneducated swine? How dare you call Felix a homeless man!" Zack did not hold back. Instead, he pressed on the attack. He picked up a ceramic ornament and hurled it at Diane. I deflected it with my hand, and the ornament grazed me.

He asked, a hint of sarcasm on his tongue. I smirked, I started this and he was giving me a thousand reasons to continue. “Not at all. You really play the part real good.” I mocked, laughing through the phone. “Well not as good as you do.” He joined in laughing. Sarcasm hitting the roof as it was very clear we both had ulterior motives. No way he didn’t know but that wasn’t the issue. As long as he didn't see what was coming until it hit him real good, then it didn’t matter.

The room went dead quiet when I said I would take the prize, but that quiet did not last. A second later, laughter thundered through the air. Lily Smith was the loudest, doubling over with tears streaming from her eyes. "How else could she be the top seller?" she cackled. "A woman like her has to have skin as thick as a rhino." I ignored her snide comments and kept my cool. "Just to be clear," I said, "since the company so generously 'rewarded' me with bathroom duty, that's all I'll be doing for the next three days. Everything else is off my plate."