Funny Sarcasm Novels & Stories

Sarcasm evident in my words *Just hurry up* *Fine* I replied and as I was about to keep my phone back into its rightful place I bumped into someone and my hot cocoa slipped from my hand unto the floor "We have to stop meeting like this cupcake" Only one human being in the world called me that. "Sorry about your hot cocoa though. At least it didn't spill all over your shirt" he said with an amused look on his charming face. Maybe if I ignore him he'll go away

"I don't actually accept jokes." I bit the insides of my cheeks out of shame. This is so annoying yet embarrassing at the same time. I mean, I meant what I said lately and he should take it as a joke! He knows that that is a flirty sentence yet he acts like he does not get any sarcasm. I would like to punch him right away in his face. How can I do so anyway? I let out an exaggerating sigh and I almost massage my temple. "I am sarcastic for Pete's sake," I said in monotone, almost a whisper but I made sure that he can hear me say that.

Raising my tone, just as he did, although if someone heard us talking, they would surely mistake it for a murmur. “And then you earn…how much? A hundred crores, like that takla writer, right? I really don’t know where you got those ideas from!” he had now invoked the most lethal of all linguistic weapons – sarcasm – more powerful than a thousand arrows of invectives, yelling, screaming and all those tools that one can use while making their dissatisfaction, disagreement or disapproval over something obvious. Kela and Baal hurt, but sarcasms leave serious wounds for the entire lifetime. Wounds that don’t really heal.

] /All the time? [Each and every thought.] /... I see. Well, what use is this skill you speak of when I can't do anything to change what is bound to happen?/ [That's for you to figure out.] /And I'm saying-! Ah, nevermind. ... ... By the way, you do realise that my comment about you being smart was me being sarcastic, right?/ [Sarcastic?] After a short pause, the system mumbled. [So that's sarcasm…]

James and Em expected, but Fi, seriously, you. "Aw, Justin, come on. It's just a joke." She said. "Hilarious." James butted in. "Hilarious is also an understatement." Em interrupted him. "Yeah, right, and look how hard I am laughing. Hahaha." Justin said sarcastically. "Justin, what if the same joke was cracked on James?" Fiona suggested it. "Hahaha!! well, that would have been beyond hilarious, right Jamie?" Justin was laughing now. "Give me a hi-fy for that, Justin." Em and Justin gave each other Hy FY.

He shook his head, putting a hand over his bike like it was the Oscar award. I blew a breath. "It will save us time and energy resources. Use your brains for a change." "I do use my brains, you should too. Oh wait! You don't have any!" He exclaimed in mock horror. "Of course not! That's precisely why Mrs. Finn assigned me tutor you. Oh the irony!" "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit." "It is the only answer to stupidity." "Haha, you aren't afraid of motorbikes?" He asked, changing the subject.

I tell him. He chuckles, “Just one?” “Just one that would offend you, sir,” I shoot back, my tone not particularly nice, “When I take tea with other people, I tend to converse with them. And when I converse with people, I'm likely to do so in a polite and friendly manner. And when that happens ....” “Sarcasm doesn't become you," His eyes narrows. “And when that happens,” I continue in a louder voice, “The strangest thing occurs. Not all the time, mind you, and probably not with you, Typhon, but I'm sure you wouldn't like to chance it.”

Insert sarcasm. I looked at Eula and plastered an evil grin on my face. She widened her eyes at me, looking stressed as ever. "I said, my name is Florence Mil," I said and flashed an innocent smile. "Oh, your office looks dull, by the way. It's plain and boring, the cabinets are not even well organized, and the colors... tsk, tsk, tsk... whoever designed this office has a bad taste." I shook my head and pretend to be disgusted.

He laughed loudly, “I see giant hearts in your eyes at the sight of these little sausages and it’s too hilarious! That look you made when you saw the plate headed straight for you…priceless!” It took him a moment to temper his laughing and I just giggled and shoved his shoulder, “Hey! I have a weakness for tiny sausages covered in barbeque sauce okay? It’s terribly crippling and I don’t appreciate your lack of appreciation.” I loved how quickly he quipped back to my overly sarcastic retort, “Oh, I definitely don’t lack appreciation! If anything, I was just appreciating your weakness for them through the obvious goofy ass giddy facial expression you dropped on a dime the second you saw them!”

He deserved the award for being the best friend in the entire world, “Let’s see, from being slapped on your wedding reception, to being told to ‘go fuck yourself where the sun doesn’t shine and to being compared with a giant pimple in the ass, which of course, hurts, all in a span of 12 hours after the wedding, I should rather say, marriage life is fuckin’ great..” Note the sarcasm. But that didn’t stop the dickhead of a friend I have, because he laughed even harder. At some point, I found myself laughing along with him. Just the mere thought of the recent events was screwing with my mind.