Funny Sexual Jokes

What do you do when you meet the one person that makes you feel alive, but at the same time kills you deep down inside? Would you stay or run away? For as long as Leia can remember, she had always felt different compared to everyone else. She remembers the exact day her life had changed for the worse — the day she shifted for the first time and lost control of her wolf, only to wake with her mother’s blood on her. Horrified, her own father sells her to another Pack. She had no idea in this Pack, she would meet somebody who could get deep inside her and look her darkness straight into its eyes. Alpha Viktor has only ever known death ever since he killed his own parents on his first shift. Known as the Dark Alpha, he was feared by everyone, making him lonely. Until her. But when Leia realizes she doesn’t like what the darkness in her does, she runs away from Viktor. Only to find out that it might be too late as she is pregnant with his heir. Will she ever be truly free or is she destined to live a fearful life with the Dark Alpha? What happens when she finds herself in another Pack and the Beta turns out to be her destined mate? Leia must decide whether or not she should choose the darkness or the light. Rated 18+ for explicit content (sexual, violent, and dark themes present). Book 2 of His Heir Series, but can be read as a standalone. :) Book 1 is Banished With His Heir.

Arlo is an omega from the red forest pack. He has six overprotective older brothers who spoils him rotten as well as his parents. The red forest pack tends to welcome anyone no matter who they are. What happens when Arlo finds his mate? Will he be able to escape his overprotective family or will it affect his relationship with his mate? Jacob valentine is the alpha king of the blue sky pack located in Norway Europe. They live amongst the humans who welcomed them with open arms but Jacob was still wary of them since he didn't trust them. Being the alpha king comes with a lot of work, one he was ready to take on no matter what. Jacob was on a search to find his mate, but what happens when he goes to the red forest pack? Will his mate be there or will he have to continue to wait? Find out more on their journey. All rights reserved Written by princess Jody

Red alert: This book is going to be full of erotic content. High sexual content, use of vulgar words and foul language. Thanks for the support of those that chose to proceed. “I know you are a werewolf and I know why you are here, but be rest assured I will never accept you as my fated mate and Luna queen. I, Newton Ashton Montgomery, hereby reject you as my fated mate.” “No, I will never accept your rejection, King!” Gwendolyn Hills grew up having everything she always wanted in life. Right from when she was a pup, she merely had to snap her fingers and get whatever it is. Every girl either wanted to be her or be her friend. The one thing she always looked forward to was her eighteenth birthday when she will shift to her wolf and become mated to her childhood crush and best friend, Julian, the incoming Alpha. Then on that very day, not only was she unable to transform, her once-perfect life fell apart before her eyes. In the snap of a finger, she became nothing but the pack’s new freak. When she had an encounter with the cold-hearted King of Lycan’s, her life further plunged deeper into a bottomless pit and this time, plunged with her heart. How is she going to fix the missing puzzles of her life, mend her broken heart and find true happiness in the midst of trying to find herself? Let's journey together to find out.

At the age of 30, Jamie Lynn Langford experience the so-called Aromantism where she became unaware that she is now near the end of the calendar without a man by her side. the most awful thing is she became distant from everyone, especially a man. It's not that she is in doubtful sexual orientation because she is 100 percent sure she is straight. It`s just that she became busy establishing her own career sadly to think! She felt bad for it. Until her best friend Diane invited her on a vacation that will make her life turns into a roller coaster ride of emotions. And all of that is new to her. Will she accept the fact that once she is set on Francis Ribbs' attention, she is nowhere to escape in his clutches? Will she entertain those possibilities? Or keeps blinds on to it?

(The book contains 18+ matured sexual scenes.) Meeting her in his concert in a wasted form, he nearly doesn't recognize her. But when he does, he can't get her out of his mind. He couldn't stop falling for her every moment. She is tough, brilliant in everything but rarely known by public. She hates cameras, she hates to be centre of the world.She is someone who can amaze the world with her personality. They are opposite poles but opposite poles attract with each other. Will she ever fall for him?

Summer Haynes, a.k.a 'Ms. Clumsy'. A lazy Tomboy trying to get her crush's attention with the help from her former ex bully. This is not the best idea to start with...

WARNING!!!! MATURE CONTENTS . READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION . Loveth tried to move away but he dragged her closer to him " that perfume cost so much Loveth , I am afraid I am going to ask for a collateral." Nicholas said as he let down her dress revealing her breast before him , Loveth covered her nipple quickly as she held her arms across her breasts shyly,Nicholas turned her around again for inspection and a frown on her face made him halt quickly " I don't have anything to offer you Nicho.. Boss , please let me get out of here , I will accept every punishment you give me tomorrow ." Loveth moaned when he kissed her and grabbed her butt " do you know what I hate the most Loveth ? , I hate to postpone punishment ." Nicholas said has bent his head whispering quietly in her ears " what can I do ?." Loveth asked as she wanted him and required no more urging nor instructions , guided by her need and instincts , she slid her hand sensuously through the dark hairs of his chest , and leaned forward to kiss his hard muscular flesh . Drunk Loveth Raymond kidnapped by a stranger who she realised to be a power driven man obsessed with money and power , she must do all she can to resist his charms and the sexual sparks going off between them. But she must satisfy the commanding and forceful Nicholas Hunter desires . When caught between a rock and a hard place........

Isang gabi lang pero nabago na husto ang buhay ni Althea. tatlong taon ang lumipas at nagtagpo muli ang landas nila. Ano kaya ang mangyayari sa muli nilang pagkikita. Magkakaroon ba ng chance na may mabuong pagmamahal sa kanilang dalawa. Magkakaroon ba sila ng pagkakataon para makilala ang isa't isa o tulad nun una ay iiwasan muli ni Althea ang binata. Vhans

"You look so fucking sexy with your mouth wrapped around my cock," Ryan groaned, increasing the speed of his thrusts into my mouth. I moaned at his praise as I widened my mouth. And a split second later, he filled my mouth with his warm release. I smirked as I gazed up seductively at him and licked the remnants of his cum off my lips. +++ Ophelia Alvarez is a helpless third-year college student during the daytime and a bottle girl at a strip club by night. She resorted to such a controversial occupation because she has to pay for her cancer-stricken father's chemotherapy treatment. When billionaire CEO, Ryan Torres offers her a juicy proposal to be his exclusive sex slave, she has no option but to accept it to ease her Dad's medical expenses. A lot of wild sexual escapades happen between them, and they eventually part ways, albeit in a terrible manner. When fate has them meet some years later, will it be enough to get her to forgive the cruel, and arrogant billionaire, for abandoning both her and their unborn baby in a pool of blood, three years ago?

Shayla Sengupta is the type of woman who has that razor-sharp smile, a devil-may-care attitude and has the type of beauty that poets write sonnets about. She knows it and also knows just how to use all of it to get what she wants.But after a handful of most unfortunate incidents where she almost ends up drowning in the dangerous waters she tried to tread on ; Shayla faces the danger of dying due to thirst. Does a certain blue eyed boy with the voice of a nightingale prove to be the water for Shayla when she is stuck in the desert?