Funny Things To Say Novels & Stories

“The eggs on that rich guy’s Mercedes or the flaming poop.” “The old guy stepping in flaming dog shit was pretty damn funny. It might be a draw. So, what’s next?” “I got big M-80 firecrackers!” “Gosh, and gee-willikers Paul, whatever shall we do with those?” “So many mailboxes, so little time.”

I joked lightly, and Serin rolled his eyes at my poor excuse of one. "Funny," he said humorlessly. I only cackled even harder. "No, seriously. You should step out of the corporate world and become a comedian with jokes like that." "Aw, come on, Serin." I followed him out of the house and into the backyard, where he walked out for some fresh air. "It was kind of funny, admit it!" "You need to admit yourself into a mental hospital with jokes like that." ###

The words felt strange leaving my mouth but I didn’t regret it. “Oh,” Calvin said softly, his eyes widening. “Well… that’s new.” He smacked his lips. Another guy elbowed him in the side before he could continue. “Shut up,” the guy muttered under his breath while Calvin winced dramatically. “Dude, that was unnecessary.” He groaned. “You were about to say something stupid,” the guy replied. “I always say something stupid.” Calvin snorted like it was a known fact. “Exactly.” Laughter broke out again, easing some of the tension.

Jeff jokes around and laughs his ass out. “Shut up,” “Shut up!” Both Seid and I yell at his not-so-funny joke.

Kyle, with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes, said, "Mom, do you have any funny stories from your school days?" Valerie, reminiscing, chuckled, "Oh, plenty! One time, my friends and I tried to organize a surprise birthday party for our teacher, but she accidentally found out and pretended to be surprised. We were so caught off guard!" The kids, captivated by the story, burst into laughter. Kelly teased, "Mom, you were a mischievous one too!" Valerie, joining in the laughter, added, "Well, life is full of little adventures and surprises. Those moments make the best stories, don't they?"

"AhHhH, BiG BrOtHeR. YoU ShOuLd HaVe NoT rUnAwAy." "HoNeStLy, Vicky Is SoRrY fOr HuRtIng YoU..." "HAHAHAHAHA!!!" "JuSt KiDdInG, I WoUlD'vE EaTeN YoU AfTeR I wAs BoRn In ThE AbYsS." "GYAHAHAHAH!!!"

"Does this mean I can expect turds landing on me every so often when I do or say something stupid?" I laugh again. "Oh, dragonbreath, you'll do or say something stupid every day. Between being green and turds landing on you, I've got you covered." Now it's Ashrac's laugh filling my head.

He suddenly starts laughing like I just told the funniest joke in the world. “Here with two people that we suddenly just met, wow that is the funniest thing I have heard all day, no, all my life.” Walking away from me like he is about to walk out of the garage, I block his path and try really hard not to shove him against the wall and kill him right where he stands.

“YEAH ! LET THE UNINVITED MOTHERFVCKER GET A TASTE OF ALL OUR ATTENTION AND LOVE” “KILL ! KILL ! KILL !” “BARBECUE HIS ASS, FVCKERS !!” “EVERYONE SHUT THE “HELL” UP ! SEE ? SEE ? WHAT I DID THERE ?” “YEAH SUCKER. YOU USED A PUN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE” “HELL NO ! I AM PUN LORD” “NO YOU ARE POOP LORD. THAT’S IT” “SHUT UP, GUYS ! YOU ARE BEING SO UNCOOL”

I need to keep my positive energy flowing, I don't need any negative energy now. Despite trying not to say anything, I found myself saying, "Fuck you." Before I turned around to leave, I can't believe someone would play such a dumb joke on me, this is annoying and unfair, well, it was a good way to stretch my legs and walk off my anxiousness...It all happened for the best. Just as I was about to take a step, I heard someone say, "Wendy." And due to the familiarity of the voice, I quickly turned to look at the person,