Harry Potter Humour Novels & Stories

Alive. "Okay, just fine," Harry chuckled, rubbing his fat hands. “Now let’s see what your puppies say…” For a few minutes, Harry typed intently, snorted, then began to laugh, reading aloud especially liked moments. And then something pissed him off. He didn't say what, just slammed the laptop shut, tossed it on a chair, and looked at Kit with eyes filled with malice. Probably, according to the rules of the game, now he will begin to punish her?

But soon she looked at him adorably after all he stole it for her. "I have something to say to you." She nodded her head making him lean to her face. "If you were a vegetable you would be cute-cumber." He said with serious eyes. Rose tried her best by pursuing her lips to not burst out in laugh but failed. She started laughing making Harry lean back with a frown. "Why are you laughing? It took me so long to make it." Rose giggled at his words before pinching his flushed cheeks. "Harry, don't get drunk again." She said not able to digest how cringed and cute he was being. She never knew he can turn this cute after being drunk.

Sharp and knowing. I straighten, adjusting my posture, smoothing my expression into something neutral, something controlled, but judging by the way she studies me, it’s not enough. “Nice party, huh?” Harriette exclaims, her tone light as she leans against the counter beside me, her cane within easy reach. “Yeah,” I reply, keeping my voice steady, even if everything else isn’t. “It is. Though it looks like Tinkerbell threw up in here.” The joke lands flat. I hear it. She does too. But she chuckles anyway, the sound soft and amused.

I tried to swallow down the panic clawing at my throat. “Harmless, sure,” I said, trying to sound light, joking, anything but what I actually felt. “But… harmless isn’t really… impressive, I guess?” I forced a smile. “Like… we can make herbs grow faster. Or clean things. Or… um… change the color of water.” I ended, expecting for everyone to fucking look away and focus on the war that was headed their way. No. They weren’t ready to. A few chuckles scattered around the room, though mostly awkward. Horrell’s grin tightened. He clearly didn’t find it funny.

I asked, "So, Miss. How is it going with the Dark humour guy? Any update so far?" "HA! Dark humour! He's the funniest guy, I've ever met. Didn't you hear that line of him? I mean he called himself motherfucker; oh my, that's the kind of humour I love. Every time he cracks a joke, it makes me head over heels for him. And not forget his awkwardness around girls" the sarcasm was dripping from her mouth. But that changed my mood. And we both started chuckling, "He's not that bad!" I exclaimed. Right? He's not that bad.

I pretend to think about his question placing my hand on my chin and looking up at the sky as I swirl around in my chair. “I doubt, I’m not really a big fan of keeping the devil that close as a pet” Harry seemed to find this very funny as he couldn’t stop laughing, I stared at him. Just laughing for a little before I joined in with a slight giggles. It was actually quite reliving. “What’s so funny?”

Ten minutes wouldn’t even be enough for someone to finish a call, would it? “Ha ha ha! What a joke! I’ve seen a lot of douchebags who pretended to be great in front of me, but I’ve never seen anyone as shameless as you!” “Switch the host in ten minutes? Ha ha ha! Do you know who supports my family?” “I’m afraid you might piss in your pants if I tell you!” “Hell, you don’t deserve to know!” Harry and his workers roared in laughter. In their eyes, Harvey was no more than an idiot.

He retorted as I smirked, "It sounds weird to my ears. Harry is just okay." "Oooh, wittle Harry is getting pissed." I teased him causing him to roll his eyes on me, I let out a loud laugh. "Stop it, Lorien. It's not even funny," he glares which just made me laugh even harder. "I'm sorry but, I find it so funny." I replied, putting my closed fists just under my eyes as I started to fake a cry, "Wittle Harold Ellis wis pissed. Buhooo." "I told you to-"

"No! That was my mom. She worries too much about my first day and keeps calling to check on me like I'm five years old." I couldn't hold it in anymore and snorted with laughter, covering my mouth because it came out way louder than I expected and oh my god that was embarrassing. Harry looked at me with wide eyes, then started smiling. "It's okay to laugh. You don't have to hide it." I laughed harder and he grinned like he was enjoying this. "You laugh like a cute pig." My laughter stopped immediately. "I do NOT laugh like a pig!" "You literally just snorted."

Regrets started to drown me in. Ty laughed and I quickly focused my attention back on him. "So that is why he has been searching for Harry Potter books! You turned him into a Harry Potter lover." "A Potterhead!" I gave her a disapproving look. Muggles, smh. "Yeah, whatever you call it." He rolled his eyes, clearly did not care, and I shot daggers at him.