Hilarious Quotes About Men Novels & Stories

“Hahaha, you're so pretty when you're joking. I like your humor more than my father's.” Eli, instead of shutting down the conversation but since the man talked back, she also retorted. “But I guess your father's humor is better than mine.” He breathed out his laughter but this time there is no sound that we can hear like he is just breathing out his laughs. “Come on, you should be confident about it because that's what I adore in you.” “I am always confident. And I am confident that your best friend if it's not me it's you who he's going to kill.”

I'm grateful for the government of the day and for this opportunity to hear from the people but we shouldn't open our doors and our ears to hear crabs and nonsense from gangsters. He spoke so calmly due to his age as he stretched his hands to Jefsexy and his crew. “How on earth do you ever imagine a man fucking a man and it seats down well with you?." “The anus isn't meant for fucking but for you to used it for your damned poop.” “ It's so irritating and disgusting when ever I hear a man will have the audacity to fuck a fellow man man.” Mr. Kitty said a little bit loud as his voice began to show his anger gradually.

I purse my lips and try to hold in my laughter, "I'd say tragic but isn't that what fuels a man's confidence? I'm sure those comments don't bother someone like you." "Touché," he chuckles. "It's nice to hear something so simple. It reassures me that I have other appealing features other than my monster dick." I cover my mouth, trying not to let my obnoxious laughter out, that's been collectively gathering at the back of my throat. "Women also tend to lie to spare men's feelings, but I guess in this situation, it might cost them their lives," I tease. "My, my, you're not sparing someone you just met," he says.

“Men are very protective of their ego, Claire. Just because you’re feeding your brother doesn’t mean you have to rub it in his face. You disrespected him. Of course he would react. Next time, lower your tone and choose your words wisely when speaking to him. Remember, men do not like sharp-tongued women.” Okay, this has got to be a joke. This really has to be the joke of the fucking century otherwise, heads will fucking roll. I stand shakily to my feet, anger, shock and disgust blasting through my system at dangerous speeds. “If this is some kind of joke, dad, it’s no longer funny. Cut it out.”

For half a second, no one spoke. Hope flickered. Just a small one. Then one of the men snorted. “Husband,” he repeated, like it was funny. Another laughed outright this time. “They always say that.” The man from the club tilted his head, studying me. “Yeah,” he said. “Funny how every girl suddenly has a powerful husband when things get serious.” “I’m not lying,” I snapped. “Say another word and you’ll regret it.” “Sure,” one of them said. “And I’m the king of this city.”

All day long, I had to listen to people tell me things like: "Heard you applied for the job. I know you'll do well." "You'll get it. I am sure they would see that you and that role are a perfect fit." All those remarks, everywhere I turned. I had used up all my genuine smiles and was now running on the fake... My personal 'favorite' of all the comments was, "You, Veronica, are a manly woman." One particular person said. And I could do nothing but smile at that totally weird comment.

I say in a serious threatening tone. He throws his hands up in surrender. “Wow wow, okay man, no disrespect. She’s so gorgeous and we like her. It’s just that... you know... the saying. Show me a man with a pretty wife and I’ll show you even he’s tired of fucking her. We men just aren’t built like that, just one woman. We were made to repopulate the Earth. It has its ups and downs but just take it slow, you know.” Lucas says like he’s making a point. That was the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard.

Then one of the older men laughed and said, “Women shouldn’t hear things like this. Makes them emotional.” And something in me snapped. “Funny,” I said, lifting my glass. “Considering men are the ones killing each other over ego and land.” The table went still. Carlino’s fingers tightened slightly around his glass. But I didn’t stop. “Maybe if you all talked instead of shooting, fewer mothers would be burying sons.” One of the men chuckled darkly. “Careful, little queen.” I met his stare. “Careful is how cowards talk.” That was it.

Sebastian follows suit. “You can never be too old to play. Just like in love. You can never be too old to fall in love. The world just wouldn't agree on that because they always oppose things that make one happy. That's what makes the world a crazy place to live in. It's not the world itself that's toxic, it's the residents. The same residents that call themselves human, yet they do not act humane at all,” he quotes, something I believe is abnormal for a physically beautiful man like him because I have always believed that handsome men are basically arrogants. A smart word from a smart guy.

"But women make even the toughest men dull." The old man turned around, staring intently at Michael. "And a dull man, son, will be trampled to death by his enemies."