How To Critique A Story

“ทำไมถึงมีรอยแผลแบบนี้บ่อยขนาดนี้ครับ อาทิตย์นี้ผมเจอคุณ 3ครั้งแล้ว?” หมอมาร์เวลเอ่ยกับหญิงสาวสวยเปรี้ยวถึงใจที่เธอมาโรงพยาบาลด้วยอาการเป็นแผลเหมือนเกิดอุบัติเหตุ แต่ไม่ได้เยอะอะไร ”คุณหมอจำเป็นต้องรู้เพื่อใช้สั่งยาหรือไงคะ“ ”ดูท่าทางคุณระมัดระวังกับรอยแผลมาก ไม่น่าจะสุ่มส่ามเป็นแผลเองบ่อยหรอกมั้งครับ เพราะถ้าแผลแค่นี้คุณรีบมาหาหมอละก็“ ”......“ ”ผมพูดถูกใจดำหรือไงครับ“ ”งานฉันมันต้องใช้เรือนร่าง เพราะฉะนั้นฉันจำเป็นต้องไม่มีตำหนิ“ ”........“ เมื่อได้ยินหญิงสาวพูดแบบนั้น หมอมาร์เวลถึงกับชะงักนิ่งไป ” ใช้เรือนร่างที่คุณว่า มันใช้แบบไหนกัน“ ” ถ้าคุณหมออยากรู้ ก็ไปที่อะโกโก้คลับตรงซอย 15 นะคะ“

“คุณหนูจะกลับเลยมั้ยครับ” “กลับเลย หงุดหงิดมาก” เสียงบ่นของนานี่ที่ดูจะไม่สบอารมณ์ ก่อนที่จะเดินปึงปังขึ้นรถไปโดยมีบอดี้การ์ดส่วนตัวเดินตามไปติดๆ เมื่อกลับมาถึงคอนโด นานี่ก็ล้มตัวลงนอนบนเตียงโดยที่ไม่ได้ถอดแม้กระทั้งรองเท้า “คุณหนูอาบน้ำก่อนดีกว่าครับ เดี๋ยวผมไปเตรียมนมอุ่นให้” “ทีโอ ... นายทำอะไรอ่ะ” นานี่เอ่ยทั้งที่ไม่ยอมลืมตาเมื่อรู้สึกว่าบอดี้การ์ดคู่ใจกำลังทำบางอย่าง บอดี้การ์ดหนุ่มค่อยๆถอดรองเท้าส้นสูงออกจากขาเรียวก่อนจะเดินเอามันไปเก็บที่ชั้นเก็บรองเท้าสุดหรูของนานี่ “นายดูแลฉันดีกว่าเมียอีกเนอะ”

My husband insisted that I wear high heels at the company’s annual meeting despite being pregnant. He compared me to his female secretary with a look of disdain. "Can’t you learn from Lucille? She’s eight months pregnant and still comes to work in full makeup, handling her tasks efficiently. If you don’t wear them, don’t go. I’ll be embarrassed!" He even tried to give the high heels to his secretary and take her as his date. Left with no choice, I forced myself to wear them. However, on the balcony, the secretary tripped me, spilling red wine all over me. Limping, I found my husband, only for him to sneer, "Tripping on flat ground? How clumsy!" Furious and pale with anger, I turned to leave. Someone urged him to chase after me, but he only got angrier. "How bad could it be? She’s so timid—she can’t survive without me! Just wait. When the event’s over, she’ll definitely be waiting in the car to drive me home." Alas, he was wrong. I turned and went straight to the hospital for an abortion.

The moment my best friend dashes into the lottery shop ahead of me and rattles off that familiar string of numbers, I know instantly that she has been reborn, too. In my past life, my best friend and I were shortlisted for an interview at a Global 500 company just before graduation. However, there was only one opening available. On the day of the interview, I had a sudden urge to buy a lottery ticket, but as a result, I missed the interview, and my best friend got the job. As it turned out, I won the jackpot, totaling 50 million dollars. After graduation, I lived a carefree life, lounging at home and living off the interest. Meanwhile, after entering the company, my best friend was paid little and got bullied every single day. Eventually, she vented her anger on me and shoved me off a rooftop. I died from the fall instantly. After my death, my boyfriend covered for her, twisting the story to claim that I'd gone mad from idling too long and jumped on my own. The two of them fed on my misfortune, becoming influencers with millions of fans and raking in fortune. When I open my eyes again, I am reborn to the very day I bought that lottery ticket.

When my four sons were finally old enough for preschool, I arrived at the school office with my marriage certificate and their birth certificates, ready to sign them up. But the lady at the counter frowned and said, "These documents don't check out. According to the system, your kids don't even exist." I felt as if the floor had dropped out from under me. I remembered when Sheldon Clem and I got married—he was the one who handled all the paperwork, the birth registrations, everything. I never imagined that when I tracked him down with our four boys, he'd be holding his childhood sweetheart in his arms, with her little girl snuggled against him. And then we heard him sweet-talking her right in front of us. "Don't be mad, babe. I've got everything set up for us overseas. Gigi is going to the most expensive private school, and you'll be living in the nicest penthouse downtown. "Sure, she gave me four sons, but all my love and money are with you. I only kept her around because I felt sorry for her. "What else do you need? My will's already signed. Everything goes to you and Gigi." Riley Anderson pouted, smug and satisfied. "If you don't love her, then she's the other woman, not me. She's got no right to fight me for anything!" So he never went bankrupt. When we got back home, Sheldon acted as if nothing had happened. "Honey, I've found this amazing project overseas, so I won't have time to come home much. I'll need you to hold down the fort at home." I smiled and nodded. "Sure, go ahead." If that was how he wanted to play this, then fine. I'd make sure he really went broke, and then I'd find my boys a new father.

Bastien marries me only for duty. I reject him and leave for good by faking my death. Yet he goes crazy looking for me. He says he loves me when we meet again. No! I don't buy it. I can't let him steal my child! ** "She's not yours!" The front door was locked and deadbolted, but it only takes Bastien and his Betas a moment to break past those defenses. As Bastien towers in the doorway, his silver eyes glowing with barely contained fury, I realize it's all over. Everything I've worked for these past three years is already lost; every tear I've shed and sacrifice I've made has all been for nothing. I come to stand in front of my ex-husband. Goddess I’d forgotten how handsome he is; how tall. It doesn’t feel right to be so near him without our bodies touching; it takes all my strength not to reach out to him. “Hello Bastien.” Whatever he was expecting, it clearly wasn’t this. His silver eyes stop their hungry head-to-toe scan of my body, settling on my face and blinking in surprise. I can see the gears turning in his head, piecing together the puzzle of my presence here and replacing shock with confusion and anger. “Is that really all you have to say to me?” I cock my head to the side. “What would you have me say?” “I thought you were dead!” He barks, making my wolf tuck her tail between her legs. Unlike my wolf, I have more than enough bad memories and regrets to withstand his ire. “Oh I’m sorry, did my funeral get in the way of your wedding plans?”

How does it feel, then, to be kissed by an unlovable brute?——I find it amusing that I didn't even have to track down my runaway bride. She simply climbed into my car, completely oblivious to the fact that I am the man she was running away from. I could catch her. Hunting women down is the last thing I want to be doing, truly. I mean Ruby no harm, even though she unknowingly said some awful, untrue things about me in the car. In time, she’ll learn that those things aren’t true. I’m not like my parents. Still, I have no choice but to marry this girl. She’s barely eighteen, three years younger than me, but it’s fate. All of this mess started about a month ago.

I was head over heels for Jonas Hayes, the cold and aloof scholarship student who saw me as nothing more than a walking wallet. He took my credit card but refused to let me get close. "Get lost. The sight of you and your filthy money makes me sick." Using my wealth, he showered Clara Dove, the stunning campus bella from a humble background, with luxury gifts and even threw her a lavish birthday party at the city’s most exclusive hotel. Everyone envied him, believing he was a self-made billionaire. But I didn’t care. I stayed hopelessly in love. After graduation, I poured my entire inheritance into building a life with him, convinced I could win his heart. During our honeymoon, he watched as I drowned, his voice ice-cold as he said, "Every time I think of how you used your money to control me, I wish you’d die sooner." When I woke up again, I was back in my college classroom—the day Jonas asked me to top up his card. This time, I wasn’t the desperate fool he remembered. I slapped him across the face with the card and sneered, "Even beggars know how to kneel and ask. What are you, a weed?"

A group of unwelcome visitors suddenly show up at a relative's funeral. The man in the lead claims to be my wife's boyfriend and wants to punish me. Apparently, I'm her fresh-faced lover. I don't want this to turn into a big deal because we're at a funeral, so I tell him we'll settle this after everything's over. Unexpectedly, my wife's boyfriend causes a huge fuss and instructs his men to pin me to the ground, wanting me to get on my knees and grovel at his feet. The rest of my relatives are unmoved by this. They watch as my legs get broken. I sneer and say, "Your girlfriend bought this urn for my mom. She spent a fortune on this, you know!" Sure enough, the man is furious. He clamors and wreaks havoc, ultimately smashing the urn to pieces. "How dare you parasites latch onto my girlfriend and try to exploit her! Don't think you're getting a cent out of her!" What he doesn't know is that the "mom" whose funeral is being held is my wife's mother and my mother-in-law. The funeral that is crashing is hers, and her urn is the one he's just smashed.

She is the only female Alpha in the world, the princess of the Royal Pack. To protect her, her father insisted on homeschooling her. She longed to go to school, but her father demanded she hide her Alpha powers. So, she pretended to be a wolfless— Until she met her destined mate. But he turned out to be the heir of the largest pack, and he rejected her?! “A worthless thing with no wolf, how dare she be my mate?” — He publicly rejected her and chose another fake. Until the homecoming... Her Royal Alpha King father appeared: “Who made my daughter cry?” The once proud heir knelt before her, his voice trembling: “I’m sorry… please come back.” She chuckled and raised her gaze: “Now you know to kneel?”