Humorous Xmas Poems Novels & Stories

Roth has heard a lot of jokes like this from him over the years, enough to be entertained instead of being insulted. Do you want me to remind you of how finding a mate works, V? Or should I just give you a mental recording with the right amount of sarcasm? "Well, bah humbug to you too, Roth. I just can't believe this is the 32nd Christmas that we won't be having anyone celebrating the holidays. I was hoping you've already made up your mind by now." When I find her scent, you will be the first to know. Meanwhile, it's bah humbug to you too, Vince. So, are you going to continue working as you usually do, or go home and rest, which I know you dislike at this time of year?

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas My True Love gave to me Twelves Drummers Drumming Eleven Piper's Piping Ten Lords a Leaping Nine Ladies Dancing Eight Maids a Milking Seven Swans a Swimming Six Geese a Laying Five Golden Rings Four Calling Birds Three French Hens Two Turtle Doves And a Partridge in a Pear Tree. So she did. Lila laughed, and laughed. And laughed.

"What's so wrong with Christmas, Mr. Scrooge?" I take a swig of my beer, finishing the rest of the bottle, and shrug my shoulders. "There's nothing wrong with Christmas. I just looked at it differently I guess. When I was little, I was a weird kid. All my friends would be so excited for Christmas and they all told me how they stayed up late so that they could meet Santa, but not me. Nope, I stayed awake to try and capture the creep sneaking into my house once a year." As soon as I finish that sentence, a roar of laughter emits from all three of them.

"Fuck! I can't stop myself!" ^^^^^^^^^ Hey guys. Have a merry Christmas and a Happy prosperous new year❤❤ Thank you so much for the support.

Nicholas “Merry Christmas!” shouted a smiling street performer, handing out small candy canes. “No, thank you,” Nicholas Kerstman said, shaking his head as he walked past. “But it's Christmas time! Take one,” the performer urged. “Embrace the season.” Nicholas sighed. Why did Christmas have to come every year? “Sure. Why not?” Nicholas said with a shrug as he took the candy cane into his hand. When he thought the street performer couldn't see him, he threw the candy cane into the nearest trashcan.

Christmas had never been anything special for me. I had spent my last two Christmas' before this working an all-day shift at work, wiping vomit off tables and getting yelled at by unhappy customers taking their anger and frustrations on me. Afterward, C and I would spend the morning drinking on a rooftop and dancing to Fuck Christmas by Eric Idle. It was not exactly like I was the grinch or that I forbade the holiday spirit, there really was just nothing to celebrate or be happy for. After spending most of my childhood holidays hoping I would escape some beating or screaming from the matron on duty at the foster care that day who would rather be drinking her guts out on her day off, it was n

Mama looked pitiful and shamed, she stared at the makeshift Christmas tree crying, shaking her head. “You guys are fucking horrible, sorry excuse for human beings. Your children are sitting in a cold-ass house with nuke-warm food on Christmas, no Christmas presents, no parents and all you’re worried about is making more money? What are you doing with the money ya’ll make, smoking it?”

There was just no way to make that happen. Visions of herself and Brady sitting beneath a Christmas tree in a beautiful home, sipping coffee and leisurely opening gifts with Pooch lying on the carpet between them made her smile. “That is just a Christmas dream,” she murmured. A Christmas dream she had no reason to think could possibly come true.

He ended his beautiful speech smiling tearfully. "Merry Christmas Dad." "Merry Christmas grandad." ********* Is okay to make a mistake, but us not okay when you don't learn from it✍️

Not a question asked. I blinked. “They obey you very quickly.” “They are my pack,” he said simply. I watched them decorate everything in sight, laughing as someone spilled flour upon someone else. The air smelled warm and sweet, filled with cinnamon, vanilla, and something reminiscent of spiced fruit. Children argued good-naturedly over dough shapes. Someone sang in a rather dreadful key. I had never seen anything like it. “Is this what Christmas is?” I asked softly. Marek leaned slightly toward me. “Part of it. People decorate, bake, share gifts, spend time with family and loved ones.”