Hump Day Quotes Funny Novels & Stories

It's like winning the lottery but with orgasms. I buried my face in my hands, mortified yet laughing despite myself. Me: You're impossible. Hazel: Impossibly RIGHT. Anyway, gotta run. Some of us have actual work to do today instead of "meetings" with our hot bosses. Me: I do actual work! Hazel: Sure, honey. Between bedroom gymnastics. Me: Go to work and stop harassing me! Hazel: Fine, fine. Leaving now. But check your messages in a minute. I'm sending you something important.

He pointed to the cup in my hand. “Oh.” My eyebrows fly up. “I'm actually having a Frappuccino.” His brows pulled together for a brief second before his face went blank again. “I never would have guessed it.” I smiled and shrugged. “I guess you're the kind who needs caffeine to function.” I shook my head in response. Just a good dicking. I thought to myself and smiled. “What's funny?” “It's nothing. A thought came to mind and that's what made me laugh.” “Oh cool.” He slipped his hand in his pockets. “How was your first day?”

Relationships that come to existence only on Sundays and other service days. I once questioned my mom about it and she asked me if I expected her to always sleep in her house. She said that everyone has a wonderful daily problem of their own that needs daily solutions. She also said that too much of your presence in a friend's house will make her look down on you. Somewhere from the book of proverbs written by Solomon.

Skeet stared at her. "Say it again." Norah went pale. Her phone slipped from her hand and hit the floor. "Wait—let me explain... I was just joking with a friend—" "Joking?" He stepped in. "You called my fiancée washed-up. That's a joke?" "That's not what I meant—" "You said I was dumb. Said I was asking to be played. That's a joke?" Her lips shook. Nothing came out.

emoji. The messages arrived at random times throughout the day. A photo of his coffee cup with the caption "Fuel for another thrilling day of capitalism." A link to an article about workplace productivity with the comment "Thought you might find this amusing." Simple things that somehow made even the longest days feel a little less lonely.

“You are the only person who has ever really listened without making it weird,” Zack admits, his voice dropping to a lower register. “Everyone else either starts crying or tries to give me inspirational quotes or something.” The wind rustles through a nearby oak branches overhead while they sit in comfortable silence for a moment. “Inspirational quotes,” she echoed. “That is a new one. What like ‘hang in there’ cat posters? Weird.”

"How long it is, how terribly long since you left this house for more than forty-eight hours ago and left an old father worried so greatly. Ain't y'all tired of being overly worked out sitting behind the wheel several hours running around Los Bahamas? My days are short but yours is longer, I should recommend a little bit of rest with a beautiful lady by your side for just today. Life is too short!" "I bet everyone living in this neighborhood knows how much I really hate staying alive during spring time in brokenness and without a piece of cent in my pocket. It simply makes me feel dead inside even when I'm still breathing. Don't worry, I'm gonna make it up to y'all. Dinner time 6pm no pranks

He laughs but shuts up. “Ok, listen, while we are on the topic of quotes, I have some funny, sarcastic ones,” he says and opens his phone to read some. “Two wrongs, don’t make a right, take your parents as an example,” I laugh. I can use it on anyone who messes with my friends. “Tell me more,” I urge him. “Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs,” I chuckle.

I start with a small giggle on my face. “I spent my day work all day, mmm at my family company” I laugh. “W-what! That was so boring” Z laughs. “Huh, and I got drunk in the middle of the night, in my bedroom floor, and woke up on couch all the time” I end. Both of us laughing because of the story, our faces are getting red because of the laugh. “Oh, my goodness! That’s insane!” Z tried to stop her laughs and leave a little giggle on her face. “Yeah, my life was insane!” I laugh softly.