Hump Day Quotes Funny Novels & Stories

“Please. Don’t bother flirting with them, they don’t get paid shit and I hear they all have crabs.” I covered my mouth and laughed. Did she really just say that? The server squinted and glanced down at the interns. “I’ll be right back with your drinks.” The second he left, the three of us had burst into laughter. I was a fucking idiot sitting at Cody’s bar. Planting my ass on the stool wasn’t mixed into my typical Friday night events, but there had been nothing normal about my day. ***

As they stopped at a red light, Naya turned to Hazel and asked, "So, are you feeling more awake now?" Hazel laughed, "Yeah, I'm feeling much better. Thanks for the coffee and the motivation, guys!" Maya smiled, "Anytime, Hazel. We make a great team. And speaking of which, let's go crush this meeting and make it a fantastic day!" The light turned green, and Maya hit the gas, accelerating into the busy morning traffic. The three friends continued their lively conversation, eager to tackle the day's challenges and make it a success.

“What? That's cruel.” “He was like this.” Matt got up, put his hands in his pockets, and made a straight face. “It's either you choose to slave away or come up with something better.” He mimicked. Everyone began to laugh as Matt continued. “If I was to rate those designs, I wouldn't even know where to start from.” “Or do you remember the time he didn't know he was still on camera after a Zoom meeting,” Daya said. “Yeah, yeah.” They all laughed, Kat, joining in the laughing too.

“If I choose the job, I obviously can’t go back to my mom, though?” It took her few seconds before she sighed. “Yeah, it makes sense. Sorry, I got it from p*******t and thought it was a cool quote.” I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing. But failed miserably as she made an eye contact with me. I cracked up to the point she throws the sofa cushion right onto my face. “Shut up.” “It’s a cool quote, though.” “Fuck off.”

“Yeah, some days are better than others. But today it’s better because it’s still in the middle of the week. Weekends are the worst.” “Wow, I wouldn’t want to get caught up in a huge crowd. It might make me clastrauphobic”, he said jokingly. I laughed at that but I stopped short because I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. “Very funny, Jack.” “I try”, he commented.

Mark asks, trying to change the subject. Sarah sighs dramatically. "Oh, you know, the usual Monday madness. But at least we have this coffee break to keep us sane." "I hear you," I say, taking a sip of my coffee. "Coffee is my lifeline on Mondays." "It's the elixir of life," Jessica agrees, lifting her cup in a toast. As we chat and laugh, I can't help but feel grateful for my quirky and supportive colleagues. We may have our ups and downs at work, but moments like this remind me that we're more than just coworkers—we're friends.

he quoted. “The what?!” He burst into laughter again, “You didn’t know?” “Woah! That’s so rude of them to call me that” I gaped at the thought. “Hey, stop laughing! I’m gonna take back the friendship handshake if you laugh anymore” I threatened. He sat straight immediately clearing his throat. “Sorry, it’s not my fault you quote too much”. “But schmuck?” I placed a finger under my chin squinting. “That’s so rude. Who even came up with that?”

My woman pride could never handle more than a little burp. Sometimes beer makes me sound like a trucker after a truck-stop diner. He looked even more amused when I looked up to check if he had really heard my burp. He could barely hold his laugh together. “Don’t fuck with me,” I said. “It’s hot.” “Hey, you’re the genius who declared the hottest day of the summer as cleaning day. Not like… weekly cleaning, but trucks-full-of-stuff-to-the-dump cleaning.” He finished off the cold beer.

Julia sits down across from me, her voice sincere. "What is it?" I ask, genuinely curious. "Fuck them, get drunk." Julia holds up a single finger for each word. We break out into laughter. "I think that's a motivational quote I need posted in my office." I snort. "Agreed.," Julia says. She checks her watch. "I think you're officially off the clock, my friend. You'll survive this weekend, I promise." I stand up and press my hands together. "Pray for me?" I say, pressing my hands together.

I shouted clapping excitedly, “FUCK YEAH!” Someone called from the crowd causing others to laugh, “I know today we’re very busy, with La Drobe Launch drawing nigh, we are all cooped down with work and we don’t have a minute to waste. But today, its half-day. After lunch, you all can go home. Go have fun. The company will throw an official party later. Planning Department, make sure you get to work. We need to get drunk.”