I Can Hear Myself Blink

" I am gay dad", I confessed, crying as I hugged my knees and rocked myself back and forth on the floor.       He glared at me with so much emotions running through him, the most prominent one was hatred and disappointment. " True dad, I may be smiling and trying my best to fit in your world but deep down I am dying."     I went mute as I waited for him to speak.  " You are a disgrace to this family", he spat, walking away.  ' disgrace' , that word changed my life forever. ______ Sebastian, bullied by all, rejected by his father, loved by one.    Kaden, hot, notorious and one of the most famous boy in pearl high. Literally, the golden boy of all times. Girls flirt with him, boys wants to be his friend and he care less about grades and school activities except basketball. Behind the golden facade lies a boy with dark secrets he desperately tries to hide to prevent ruining his reputation. When Sebastian catches a shirtless golden boy popping pills in the school restroom, the scars and bruises on his body draws Sebastian towards him. They both pretend they are fine on the outside but what neither of them know is that, however, they are both broken and their world is falling apart quicker than expected.  When Sebastian discover the truth about Kaden whose lifestyle hold a deeper meaning, he is set on knowing him more. Will love conquer all or will Kaden's past get in the way?

I gave birth prematurely, just twenty days before the due date. Two hours after I entered the surgery room, I had a stillborn baby. I did not cry at all. I did not even spare a glance at the dead baby. I endured the pain from childbirth and calmly walked into the hospital nursery. After the door was tightly shut, I turned down the temperature of the air-conditioning. The temperature inside the nursery would be too cold for newborns to bear after an hour. The doctors and parents were begging me on their knees to let their babies live. They screamed and cried. They said I was a mother and hoped that I would understand. Instead, I laughed and said, “Yes, I was a mother. But my baby died!” The gynecologist knelt on the floor and begged, “We may be at fault for not being able to save your baby, but these babies are innocent! “Please don’t be reckless just because you lost your baby! You’re so young. You’ll have more babies in the future.” I gritted my teeth and roared, “But my baby isn’t dead! “She’s still alive. I’ll give you one hour. Bring her back to me!” But I was unsure if she would still be alive after an hour.

On the day of my wedding, I was stabbed, left to die... and forgotten. While I bled in my wedding dress, my fiancé married my sister. And my adoptive family, the people who I thought loved me never even looked for me. They all moved on like I never existed. I thought my world had ended. But I refused to stay a victim. Benjamin Grey, CEO of Grey Global found me, saved me, and helped me rise again. When I thought I would get my revenge, I found out that my biological mother who had been missing for fifteen years was alive, and held captive by my adoptive parents. The more I try to find peace, the more trouble comes in. And I wished I had died that day. Maybe death would've been easier than living with everything I now know. Maybe I won't have to face all these traumas. But life had other plans.

When my mother asked me who I wanted to marry, this time, I chose none of them. Instead, I decided to go to the Northwest and serve my country. In my previous life, both my childhood friend, once a captain, and my educated fiancé courted me. I had feelings for both. But while I was still struggling to decide who I wanted as my husband, both accidentally ingested something. In a dazed state, I spent a chaotic night. After that, my parents asked one of the men to marry me. On the wedding day, the first love in both their hearts, the woman they had always truly loved, found out the truth. Out of spite, she accepted a local thug’s proposal. After marrying him, she was forced to give birth to ten children, one after another, until she died tragically. After her death, both men grabbed me by the throat and asked, “Why did she have to die such a miserable death, while you’re still alive and well?” They strangled me to death. When I opened my eyes again, I was back to the day when my childhood friend and my fiancé had been drugged.

I sensed his presence before I ever saw him, my mate... I looked up to meet amber eyes gazing at me confidently. Zane Black, Alpha of the Blue moon pack, was gorgeous, powerful and just what every woman dreamed of… or so he thought. “Hello, mate...” he said with a smirk. I looked at him blankly for a moment before I slowly smirked at him. “I reject you, Mr. Alpha,” I said in a bored tone. His brows furrowed as he stared at me uncomprehendingly. Then slowly realization dawned and his expression changed to disbelief, pain and finally rage.  “You reject me? You think I am not worthy to be your mate? I promise you, the day will come when you will beg for my love. You will regret rejecting me. That day, I will be the one who will have the last laugh,” he vowed. “Let’s see, Alpha. I will just tell you one thing. I, Kayla Xanders, had never ever tasted defeat in my life till day,” I said confidently.  I watched his eyes go wide in shock as he heard my name. Before he could reply, I turned, and walked away from him. Bring it on, Alpha. Let the games begin. __________________ An unexpected rogue attack changed the life of Kayla Xanders. She lost her family as well as half of her pack. At just sixteen, she took over as the Alpha of the Crescent moon pack and vows to avenge the murder of her family. Seven years later, she had become a ruthless Alpha, feared and respected by all. When she meets her mate, Zane, a playboy with an attitude, she rejects him outright. Soon, they start their games against each other. Why did she really reject Zane? And will he ever win her over? 

I am Loraine Windrug, the most eligible bachelorette on this continent, every man competes for exclusive rights to me, but I only date a handful of hotly singles with whom I share a secret friends-with-benefits relationship, satisfying my freaky side with wild, kinky sex. But I never trade my virginity. And then comes that inescapable moment when I fall hard on that one man who is far beyond my reach. Dordrich Fellogan; a billionaire media mogul, but sadly enough, married, with children. Yet I pursue him, had him deep inside me, but couldn't keep him. His love is not mine. After his wife catches us red-handed in the act, started an embarrassing scene that went viral on social media, I flee from his life. Five years later, when he's left a broken, bankrupt man, I return. I face him as a business partner. I own almost all the shares of his company. His wife abandoned him at the lowest point of his life, his future is now in my hands. I reinstate his media chain, drive him crazy with lust, but keep him out of my bed. When Elena wants him back, he's to decide between Elena and me. But I am true love, desirable, unforgettable and more. And the triumph card is with me…

While on a business trip, I stumbled into my brother-in-law, Julian Zeller, mid-act with a male colleague in a hotel parking lot. Furious, I blew the lid off his fake marriage and helped my sister, Yvonne Sutton, escape that scumbag. But after the divorce, she lost his financial support. She spiraled, blaming me for destroying her perfect marriage. She even killed me for trying to stop her from going back to him. Then, everything resets. I wake up, and there he is—slipping into the car while hugging the same man. I pocket my phone. This time, I won't ruin Yvonne's happy ending.

The night of my first shift at eighteen, my two older brothers brought home a twelve-year-old orphaned Omega. My alpha brother seized the rare healing herb I'd spent all my savings on—herbs meant to ease my first transformation—and gave them to her instead. "You're strong enough," he growled. "You don't need such precious herbs." My beta brother snarled with fury, pointing toward the door. "Get out! Don't come back!" I said nothing more, just grabbed my packed bag and left. They assumed I was merely throwing a tantrum, that I'd return in a few days. My brothers, finally free of my presence, took the orphan girl on an international vacation to the Caribbean islands I'd always dreamed of visiting. Many days later, when they returned to the pack, they were shocked to discover I'd accepted an offer from the neighboring pack's Head Healer. The position required fifteen years of isolated herbal research. I could never return home. That night, they fell apart.

My husband, Oliver Dawson, "forgot" everything in a car crash—and somehow fell for me all over again. After getting out of the hospital, he said he wanted to date me from scratch. Moved out, made it all romantic. People thought we were couple goals. I figured he just wanted that first-date spark back. Then I overheard him with his best friend. "The amnesia was a lie. I only moved out to take care of Katy. She's pregnant. Cecelia's never wanted kids. I'm not going childless." I glanced down at my barely-there bump and booked a hospital appointment. Then I found the memory-erasing pill Mom left me—and took it. Oliver had no clue I'd forget him in seven days. Completely.

The 99th time Owen Anderson slides a ring onto my finger, his adopted sister, Monica Morgan, calls again. And just like that, for the 99th time, he ditches me at the altar to be with her, who's having another depressive episode. I'm fed up. I yell after him as he walks away, "Go ahead! Walk out on me, and I swear I'll marry someone else!" He doesn't even flinch. Instead, he snaps, "Can you stop being so unreasonable? We can get married anytime, but Monica's the only sister I've got." Then, he turns and walks away, leaving me standing there like a complete fool. What he doesn't realize is that this time, I mean it. Later, when he gets down on one knee for the 100th time, his older brother, Chris, slips an arm around my waist and says, "Sorry, Owen. She's your sister-in-law now."