I Feel Like I Lost Myself Novels & Stories

"I just... don't have a better way yet." Joseph lunged forward, gripping my hands, his voice fragmented. "Are you crazy? You can't take that risk! I won't allow it!" I yanked my hands free, my vision blurring with tears. "Let go. You're hurting me." He savagely tore at his own hair, collapsing against the wall as if his entire body had failed. "I'm useless. I should be the one who died!" I looked at him calmly. In that moment, there was surprisingly no sadness. Only a deep, consuming weariness.

I'd lost him, I'd lost him forever and soon, I would lose myself...forever.

“Yes.” The honesty hits me harder than reassurance would have. “Then why stay?” I whisper. “Because you asked me not to disappear.” My chest tightens. I hug myself, nails digging into my arms to ground myself. “I feel like I’m losing parts of myself,” I admit. “Like my body is making decisions ahead of me.” Cass steps closer—still not touching. “Then anchor yourself,” he says. “Name things. Speak them.” I sniff. “What kind of things?”

But half of my selfishness demands me to stay here. I was like a zombie. Lately, I'm a syringe. Maybe because of too much thought and longing sickness, of course. If only I could reach it, I'd like to run there and follow there. But what can I do, all because of my mistakes and selfishness? I have hurt again. I'm tired of mind, body, mind. I also lost weight.

Each step, each breath, felt like it was taking me further from the person I used to be. I was losing myself. And I didn’t know if I would ever come back. I had to do something. Anything. I started talking to myself, whispering words just to hear my own voice. I needed to know I still existed, that I was still real. But even my voice sounded strange, distant, like it didn’t belong to me anymore. I wasn’t sure what I was saying half the time. Just words, spilling out like a lifeline, trying to hold onto some shred of sanity.

All I know is… I’m drowning in this. And I feel like I’m losing my mind.

I felt like I was trapped in a never-ending nightmare, and I didn't know how to wake up. As the month dragged on, I started to feel like I was losing myself. I felt like I was disappearing into the darkness, and I didn't know how to find my way back. I felt like I was just a tiny, insignificant speck in a vast and uncaring universe, and I didn't know how to make myself matter again.

I was going to lose myself. 💔

When did I become this person? I try to remember a time when I didn’t feel so unlike myself, and I can’t. Because the truth is I don’t remember what it feels like to feel like… me. I’ve been lost for a long time, so lost that I’m starting to wonder if maybe this feeling of nothingness is the new me.

I used to love meeting new people, love making new friends. But now, all of those things seemed like distant memories. Now, I was too scared to even leave my room. As I lay there, staring out the window, I felt tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. I felt like I was losing myself, like I was disappearing into the darkness of my own mind. I thought about all the things I had lost, all the things I had given up. I had lost my freedom, lost my confidence. I had lost myself. As the tears began to fall, I felt like I was mourning the loss of my old self. I was mourning the loss of the person I used to be, the person I used to want to be.