Novel & Cerita If Only I Had Told Her

Finally, she spoke, her voice soft, almost hesitant. “I’m sorry.” It startled me. My head turned toward her. “You’re sorry?” I asked, my voice thick. “Why are you sorry? You have nothing to be sorry about.” She shook her head slightly, her eyes fixed somewhere far beyond me. “No,” she whispered, “I should have told you.... You don’t know how many times I’ve regretted that decision. Maybe… maybe if I had told you I was pregnant before I ran away, it wouldn’t have changed anything. But maybe it would have.

“Fuck's sake!” I snapped at myself. How did I get this so wrong. All I had to do was tell her how I felt and I blew it. I had to tell her. I messaged her asking to talk but there was no reply. I had to tell her I liked her. She had to know that I would not have done any of this if I didn’t truly like her and wanted her.

"Don't be. You did everything you could, I know that." I wanted to tell her about the delays and the plan I had sitting in a drawer with Kai Russo's name on it. I wanted to tell her I wasn't a good person. Instead I said, "Good luck tomorrow." "Thank you, Ms Smith." A short pause. Then she added in a low tone. "You're the only one who called."

If the boy were mine, she would have told me. I understood it quite simply, and it stayed with me. I had stood at my own table on the twenty-ninth of October with my coat on and asked her for a divorce before her soup was cold. I had said things I could not now recall without a physical effort. I had given her no reason on God's earth to bring me good news. She would not hand that man a child. She would leave and not look back. "She did not tell me." "No." "She would have told me, if it were mine."

“How was your first day at training?” I want to tell her everything that happened and how my chances of winning had gotten even slimmer, but I don’t want to worry her. So I told her only the good part of today. The smile on her face told me she couldn’t be prouder of me and that was everything I wanted, to make her proud.

116 There was a reason why I made her tell her story first, I knew that it would most likely have her end up like this 85 And I really hoped that my story would help her feel better.

The emotions she kept hidden surfaced, mingling with the sea breeze. “I didn’t ask to be the eldest, nor to carry the responsibility,” Jill cried, her vulnerability laid bare in the quiet solitude. “I just want to be happy. If only I didn’t have this family. If only he fell in love with me. Maybe, then I would be truly happy,” she uttered in solemn reflection, her words dissolving into the vastness of the ocean, unheard echoes of a longing heart. “IF ONLY”

Jack was so easy to talk to, so easy to get lost into, to forget everything else but him. Later that night, when she was getting ready for bed, she heard her phone ping for a message. "You shouldn't have told him. Now you both will pay!"

"Everything, as in everything? She questioned, a shocked expression on her face as I had for once rendered her speechless. "Yep, that's if she hasn't remembered already." I nodded and released a deep sigh. "What do you mean by 'if she hasn't remembered already." She folded her arms. "Ifeanyi told me some shit yesterday about how her tests has been coming out clean for a while now, and how its very safe for her to remember, or be told," I responded. "But are you ready to tell her? She asked while she fixed my tie. I gave her a full blown smile. "I've been ready for years now. Am ready to tell her everything, even the fact that am her secret texter"

I need to have a good grip of myself. If only I did not see her crying that time I last saw her…. If only I did not say anything about how I felt for her…. If only…. Ahhh, if only…. If only we parted like we used to…. If only I saw her with the same smugness on her face when we first met in the classroom and she told me to meet her at the gym after class…. And maybe, if only we did not spend such a wonderful time for a good few days, maybe my feelings for her wouldn’t have grown out of my control.