If You So Desire My Despair Novels & Stories

When her best friend,Ella is still hopeful for love after yet another heartbreak, twenty three year old Robyn teams up with her hot childhood friend Beau Marks to prove to Ella that Love and destiny are not real, just bedtime stories. This couldn't possibly be a recipe for disaster.How far will these three go to prove a point? Will friendship survive? Can Ella give up her idea of love? See who gets hurt the most......

"......VOICES IN MY HEAD AND THEY WON'T STOP TALKING...." "....AND OURS IS A LOVE THAT HAPPENS ONCE IN A LIFETIME..." Young, handsome Daniel Winchester shows up in small and quiet Riverside. Rumors are flying about the new comer in town. Josie Geronimo is intruiged by the new teacher in her community high school. She desire to unravel the mystery behind the stormy clouds in his eyes; she must lose some innocence during this quest. Life is determined to play a fast one on her as she descovers Daniel's old identity. Daniel is captured by the innocent young girl giving him so much attention, he's scared not to hurt her, he's scared to love her. Still, this is a love that comes once in a lifetime; they must grab and harness it to the fullest. The road is rough, dark and scary, yet, Daniel and Josie must travel this path to reach each other.

She survived a marriage that could have broken her. She certainly never expected to fall in love with the man who helped her rebuild it. After leaving a cheating husband, Layla Morgan is determined to reclaim her life. But healing is a slow process made of small victories and quiet realisations. Enter Rider Steele. He is patient, gentle, and endlessly loyal. He never pushes nor demands; he simply stands with her. And somewhere between shared meals, harbour walks, and whispered confessions, Layla learns what trust feels like again. A deeply emotional, slow-burn romance about betrayal, healing, homecoming, and the bravery it takes to believe you deserve happiness.

Nina was shocked when she found her dream company was far from reality, especially because of Nathan, her boss. That man always give Nina a hard time! However, Nina noticed something unusual about him. When she had to work overtime, Nathan suddenly greets her warmly and pull a tension between them. Their bond getting deeper at the point they have to keep it as a secret..... So, would Nina survive the relationship that full of intrigue?

Josie has always liked Jake from high school, her high school crush is back in town and now a master chef, rekindling her feelings for Jake, Josie is determined to make him notice her. Will Jake notice her and accept her feelings for him?, does he feel the same way as she does?. Josie wants to get an answer to this questions and so her plans to finding true love begins..

From two different worlds. They are both broken and yet they peiced both their broken halfs to form a heart. Didn't they know love wasn't made for them ? They knew but yet they fell for each other. Quinn Fields is a young clumsy lieutenant returning to the police force after cutting all ties from her abusive ex. She moves on renting a quiet apartment in Portland and works hard volunteering non stop so she can get promoted. On a night patrol she contacts a handsome stranger who was bruised and unconscious, being the generous and naive young woman she is, she takes him back to her apartment and cleans his wounds and the next morning the stranger is gone. Two weeks later she comes in contact with AXE-L one of the notorious and dangerous uprising gangsters. The leader of the gang is none other than the man she shared her kindness to and he returned her kindness with a gun pointed to her head.

I've crushed on Ethan McKay since the moment I laid eyes on him. After a year and a half of going to the same college, he still has no clue I exist. Aside from my best friend, I'm practically invisible since I've spent the last seven years of my life purposefully living in the shadows, just waiting for my life to begin. Not that it matters. He's got his own life to live anyway. Parties to attend. Girls to see. And a father to impress so he can regain his trust, and earn back his rightful place in the family business. So, how is it that one night, one party, changes everything for the both of us?

I was the world’s last mermaid. At birth, I was granted three wishes by God. I used the first when my boyfriend, Alex Zane, was dying. I offered up the child in my womb and my fertility in exchange for him to live a long and healthy life, untouched by illness or disaster. I used the second when the Zane family was going bankrupt. I offered up all my power and wished for their fortune to be restored and for their future to be secured. When he came to me for the final wish, his childhood sweetheart, Valentina Wilson, was dying in childbirth. After I turned him down, he threw me into a men’s prison. “A dollar a turn. Do whatever you want with her. She can’t get pregnant anyway.” That night, I wept until my voice broke. At dawn, when the light finally crept in, I offered up my life to activate the sacred token and made my final wish. “I wish for all who betrayed me to watch their world burn. Let them lose everything and die a painful, miserable death!”

I double over in pain after assisting Adrian Randall with a late-night operation. He immediately carries me to a ward to check on me. However, before he can do that, he receives a call from a patient and hurries off. That night, I miscarry. When I come out of the operating theater, I see his childhood friend's social media update. She's shared a photo of her baby bump. "He hurried to come to my side just because I was lost. You have to treat Adrian well in the future, my darling!" I rub my belly, which throbs with a dull ache. I don't cry and demand an explanation from Adrian as I would have in the past. Instead, I like the post and apply for a position on the Borderless Medical Assistance Program. The day I leave, the high and mighty Dr. Randall looks at me with red-rimmed eyes. He asks, "How can you bear to leave me behind?"

My brother-in-law passed away in an accident. Out of pity for his widow, my husband decided to be the breadwinner for both families. After that, my husband and son both gave all their love to my widowed sister-in-law. On her birthday, my husband and son reserved a restaurant in town for her party. I was plucking corn in the field when I started bleeding, a sign that I was miscarrying. I called my husband, begging him to come home and take me to the hospital. However, he scolded me angrily, calling me a liar. “What the hell are you talking about? I haven’t touched you in months! How could you be pregnant?” My son grabbed the phone impatiently as well. “Mom, the teacher said lying is wrong! Aunt Laura’s blowing out the candles now, bye!” We had been married for seven years, yet they had completely forgotten that today was my birthday too. Despairing, I dialed another number. “Mother, I changed my mind. I’m going back to inherit the clinic.”