Inappropriate Knock Knock Jokes

My husband, Ryan Costa, is one of the most renowned scientists in the apocalypse. To retrieve a reagent, he goes deep into the high-risk zone with his secretary, Clara Gibson. I, Alice Ashford, lead an elite squad to protect him all the way. But when a zombie horde besieges us, he refuses to retreat. "With the reagent Clara brings back, I can develop a serum that saves all of humanity! Just ten more minutes! Ten minutes, please!" Ryan insists. I feel torn as I see the zombies closing in. I can't gamble with the lives of my squad on a vague, uncertain sliver of hope. In that split second, I knock Ryan out and drag him onto the helicopter. As a result, Clara dies being torn apart by the zombies. When Ryan wakes up, the first thing he does is slap me hard across the face. He rages, "How can you be so selfish? You've doomed all of humanity!" I am sentenced to be burned at the stake. I die in unbearable pain as the crowd curses me relentlessly. When I open my eyes again, I am back at the moment when Ryan stands in front of the helicopter, blocking our retreat. I am just about to speak when I suddenly hear his inner voice, "Clara should have grabbed her makeup bag by now. Hopefully, she brings something back with her. Otherwise, I'll have a hard time explaining myself to Alice." My mind goes blank, and I stare at him in shock. He smiles at me just like he did in my previous life and asks, "Darling, don't you think we should wait?"

After taking over from her father, Brielle becomes the first female Alpha to exist. Better yet, the pack she takes over is the second largest in the country. To say she already had her work cut out for her would be an understatement. Since the day she was born, she’s planned for this very day and made sure she would be a force to be reckoned with. Despite being one of the most ruthless, strongest warriors to date, many Alpha’s believe the Shadow Pack need a man in charge. Brielle must assert her dominance and deter those coming to take her title. She was prepared to put up one hell of a fight and eliminate anyone coming to take what was her birthright. It was about time these men knew who was in charge, anyway. Knock a few egos back into place. How complicated could it be? Except, it was about to get more complicated than ever. In the mist of all the chaos, the Alpha of the Blood Moon Pack decided to take a shot too. Now this was different from the attempt’s of other Alpha’s because the Blood Moon Pack was the only pack larger than the Shadow Pack and it turns out the Alpha is Brielle’s mate. Will realising Brielle is his mate change the Alpha’s plans to dominant eliminate her leadership? Or has the battle for the Alpha title of the Shadow Pack only just begun? If that’s then case, then as Brielle would say; “let the games begin.” And quite literally, might I add. Oh, damn it, I forgot one more thing. Did I say Alpha of the Blood Moon Pack? Sorry, I meant Alpha’s. More specifically, I meant Alpha River, Alpha Ryker and Alpha Reid.

It was the apocalypse. A zombie apocalypse. We should've been running for our lives, but my girlfriend, Yvonne Brown, refused to. She wanted to buy as much time as she could for her incompetent childhood friend, Yves Claude, to hop into the last helicopter that would take survivors away. But the retreat was our group's only way to survive in this apocalypse. Yves was not showing up anytime soon. I had no choice but to knock her out and drag her into the chopper. And Yves, the one she could never seem to forget, died in the swarm of undead. I, however, survived thanks to what I did. Yvonne and I lived happily in a safe zone. And then that fateful day came. I was going to take over the territory and lead humanity on an attack against the zombies. The night before that decisive strike, Yvonne spiked my water with anesthetics. When I was caught helpless, she tossed me into the horde of zombies. The swarm of undead tore my flesh open, and the pain killed me. Yvonne? She stood on the wall coldly, a sneer decorating her lips. "Yves could've lived, but you took that chance away from him! You selfish monster, you killed Yves! I will make you suffer what he suffered! You'll pay for it with your life!" Death took me, but it tossed me all the way back to the day of the retreat. The day Yvonne adamantly insisted on waiting for Yves. Well, if she was so happy to live through a world like this with her friend, who am I to say no? I would grant her that wish, even if she would end up as zombie food.

Excerpt "Lily, I never stopped thinking about you, you were always on my mind" I heard Ryan say as he stood behind me. I felt the hardness of his crotch as he pressed himself to me. I turned around and kissed him, and then we heard a knock on the door "Mommy, I'm coming in" my little daughter Isabella called out and we scampered for our clothes that was everywhere on the floor. Lily Thompson was a single mother that was abandoned by her college sweetheart when she was nineteen. She was disowned by her parents days after her parents found out that she was pregnant and she had to drop out college and fend alone for herself and her baby Years later, her baby grew up to be a young, beautiful and innocent girl, Isabella . Isabella was Lily's comfort through trying times. She was so sweet but sometimes she was a little too sweet She decided to play matchmaker with her mother to find her a husband when she saw how lonely her mother was. She would pretend to be lost when she found someone attractive on the street, she would then and ask for his help to send her home. As she said, it was the most convenient way to set me up with a kind-hearted and charming man. Well, she did have a point, right? Once again, Lily heard her daughters voice talking with some guy from the porch. She opened the door and planned to thank the man. But she almost froze when she saw him. It's HIM! The familiar face and scent immediately brought her back to the night years ago. Isabella flew into her arms and whispered to her. “Mommy, I got you a husband, for real this time!” If only she knew

No conscious? Check! Inappropriate humor? Check! Breaking several laws to be with their mates? Check! No f*cks left to give? Check! These wolves have gone through hell and back - and now they're back for revenge, claiming back what was once taken from them... Book 1: Hell's Alpha (Chapter 1 - 66) (WARNING: Polygamy) Book 2: Hell's Angel (Chapter 67 - 140 updating) (WARNING: huge age-gap couple) Book 3: Hell's Beast (Coming soon!) (WARNING: Contains actions of fur-to-skin sex)

….warning!!!!… this story contains erotic sceneries which might be inappropriate for some readers….. it all started with my mom travelling outside the country to cater for my little brother who was seriously ill. To get me company and Someone who would take care of me, my cousin Leo was invited to stay over. And that’s where everything started turning upside down. Look out for the most interesting erotic story. You wouldn’t definitely want to miss it

Listen up, everyone!" I yelled to gain everyone's attention "Your trainer Antony, is going to be gone for the foreseeable future. YOU lucky ladies have the pleasure to be trained by me. Antony is a nursery teacher compared to the hell you will soon be facing by me" I stated authoritatively. "Little girl I have morning shits bigger than you" yelled a testosterone-induced jokester from the back causing snickers to erupt throughout the crowd. "Then I'd suggest eating more greens and lessening up on protein and testosterone. You do know that shit causes your willy to shrink up and fall off right" I retorted. I watched the man turn purple with rage before charging towards the stage. Immediately taking a side stance I prepare to take on the idiot Alpha 'gracefully'.  Kicking off the stage I performed my perfect Tornado barrel kick to the dumbass's head. Connecting with a loud crack and landing gracefully on my feet bowing to my audience of alphas, knowing full well that alpha is not getting up for a while. "Any more volunteers?" I said smugly. "Nope, alrighty then. So, going forward I am not someone to mess with. I do not take lightly to those who challenge me and I do not respond to assholes who think little ladies belong barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen. If you have those prejudices, I am more than willing to knock those thoughts clear from your head. And for jackasses like this one, off your head. Do I make myself clear?" Gabriella's family was cursed as she puts it. She cannot be commanded by any Alpha and for that, she cannot belong to any pack. From an early age, her father and 6 older brothers taught her how to fight, and turned trainer. Until she finds her Mate!

We are leaving now! A woman screamed as she dragged her seven year old daughter by her hand. But mum, why. What's going on? The girl asked as she began to cry. What did you do? You exposed our secret and now they are coming for us. The FBI wants to use us as lab rats. Now get in there and pack. The woman said pushing her into her room. There was a knock on the door, starling the both of them. Keep quiet and don't make a sound. The mum whispered as she went to the door to look. Cj? It's me. I am here now. The boy said as he knocked again. Mum, it's Romeo. He's my friend. Cj said as she rushed to open the door. No, Cj don't. The mum screamed but it was too late. Three FBI agents surrounded the front door as they pointed their guns at her. Romeo was being held roughly by one of the officers. Hands up in the air, where we can see them. One of the officers said at Cj and her mom. Romeo? How could you? Cj asked as she began to cry. Not another word from you. The female agent said as she went to handcuff her. Nooooo! The mum screamed as the house shattered pushing the officers away back three feet. Romeo held on to Cj for support so he didn't fall. Cj! Run! The mum screamed as a gunshot was heard and she fell to the ground. Mum! Cj screamed as she watched her mum, bleed out on the floor. With a new profound anger she faced Romeo and placed her hand on his head, prepared to kill him but she was shot by the hand. So she was interrupted, Romeo slumped to the floor unconscious and Cj took off, into the forest never to be seen again.

He took a step into the room and stopped as he heard her breath hitch in her chest, and she shrank back slightly in fear. “What is your name?” His raspy voice carried across the room. He pulled off his shirt, revealing the beautiful, intricate tattoos that designed his skin. He noticed her eyes shine with interest. He caressed the side of her face with the back of his hand. She stiffened on the bed as hand traced down her shoulders. When his hand cupped her breast and massaged her hard nipples, it was like she came to life. She swung with all her might, burying the pointy end of a comb into his abdomen. He cursed under his breath as she slipped away from his grasp and made a run for the door. He bound across the bed in one leap and pressed her face and chest against the wall. Growling under his breath, he gripped the neck of her cloth and tore it away. “You. Have. Not. Answered. My. Question -” His sentence was cut short by a knock on the door, and his brother walked in. ************ Claire Fischer had a perfect life. A perfect family. A loving fiance she was supposed to marry and rule over the pack. But it all changed as soon as her father died. She caught her fiance cheating and a family secret looms overhead. After being betrayed twice in a row, she decides that she can't take it anymore and she leaves the pack, placing her life in the hands of fate. Would fate treat her better than her pack? Or did she just get into an even worse situation because fate is not kind to anyone, especially a wolfless mutt with alpha blood, and a cursed Lycan king on the hunt.

"You don’t know what you’re playing with." He murmured, His hand traced a slow path down my arm, fingers firm but deliberate, sending a shiver straight to my core. "You are scared" “I’m not.” I whispered. He smiled. “You should be.” Before I could think, he closed the distance, his lips crashing onto mine, rough, urgent, claiming and fierce, consuming fire of his touch. "I can't stop. I don't won't to." Then he claimed my lips again. And soon, my lips moved. I was kissing back. This shouldn’t be happening. Just then footsteps echoed. “Rylan—stop, someone’s coming—” But his hands only gripped my waist tighter, holding me still. he whispered. “Let them. I don’t care.” then his lips crashed against mine, harder. I tried turning away but he grabbed my neck and stuck his tongue into my mouth. "Rylan please." my eyes dart to the door. "Stop." I struggled. His hand slipped down to grab my ass. Squeezing it tightly. "If you weren't wearing a jean, I would have stuck my fingers right into your holes. Fuck." He hissed then continued. A light knock sounded at the door followed by the twisting handle. No! ★ Some-secrets are born in fire... and some desires, forged in darkness. Alyssa Milano carries a past she can’t outrun-one soaked in blood, silence, and a secret that could ruin her. At fifteen, her innocence was stolen. Rylan Russo is danger, ruthless, powerful, and used to getting what he wants. When he sets sights on Alyssa, their worlds collide in a storm of obsession and desire. Is this a love story tocall? In a world where trust is poison and passion is a weapon, Alyssa must choose her path. A dark, twisted romance where survival comes at a cost.